Pit Update January 2017

2017-jan-update

 

Explaining the long wait for Episode 17. In this you can hear my laryngitis.  In between rambles we have various details of events planned for Episode 17 and how channeling Beetlejuice affects me.

Studying with friends; Osheen and Lisa mentioned the most. Personal reflections and sad apologies to “Everyone”: fans, cast members, social network users. Possible reasons why the new technology is driving us all koo-koo. (Also some comparisons to Star Trek.)

Lots of fun insights about various characters and the deeper lesson Barnabas Collins teaches us from his own personal behaviour: Accountability.

Further updates with the marriage novel side-project, as well as the supernatural elements, including reincarnation.

Various interruptions were left in the update to allow a more human feeling.

podomatic link here

podbay link here

archive dot org link here

Also available on iTunes

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How to Nurture The Talent, A Conversation With Our Auntie

This isn’t the Aunt who had her own radio show, by the way. This is another Auntie. As this conversation goes we delve back and forth between personal news and the bigger issues, one of which is the drought along the West Coast, water-rationing, and my project difficulties, of course. Looks like conversation on my work isn’t the only shortage around. :/


DARYL: But water is obviously (laughing) quite important in most of our lives!

AUNT: Yes it is!

DARYL: So rationing is a strange phenomenon some people can’t get their heads around.

AUNT: Ah, yes. Hmm… well I have to tell you I haven’t listened to your episodes in a while but I mean to. With my set up now I can’t play it loud enough to hear it very well. Where I live there is a lot of noise between the people we share our walls and the folks living on the upper story. [She describes the building she lives in that houses four units.]

DARYL: Do you have headphones?

AUNT: Oh, yeah, but I need batteries for this player. (laughs) I don’t like headphones but I can use them, I just have to get batteries for that. Anyway, I DO think you’re very talented and it’s wonderful, you know. Your mother-in-law and I are going to listen to it together when she visits. We’re planning on that.

DARYL: Oh, good! I was wondering if I should send you more. I only have thirteen episodes uploaded online. I’m working on episode fifteen. I already have fourteen finished but that one isn’t uploaded online because I can’t deal with the lack of discussion on the others.

AUNT: Ah, so you’re waiting for more discussion to come. Okay, I’ll try to do better.

DARYL: Great! I was really surprised because I figured you were a shoe-in as you enjoyed my librivox work so much. I thought, “I gotta get the chat from her!” and then I thought, “Okay, now what’s happening?” This work is over three years old now.

AUNT: I know. I wrote you something before Christmas about the first two.

DARYL: Yes. I actually shared a bit of what you wrote to me and mostly what I got out of that was people remembering Postum! (sad laughter)

AUNT: Ah, well it was part of Americana at the time, just like we used to have Log Cabin syrup and it came in a metal log cabin can. Too bad we didn’t save some of them, right? Ha-ha… That was different, too. Even though my mother used to make syrup with brown sugar and water, she’d make her own syrup sometimes when we didn’t have any. Anyway, I’ve been hearing about the drought on The West Coast. It’s scary when you think about it.

DARYL: It really is, and people just kinda toss it off.

AUNT: Plus out there supplies so much of the food all over the country as well as a few other countries, too.

DARYL: Yes, there was that bit about the rice farmers out there getting paid not to grow it so they could use their water supply. I just thought, “I would rather have water than rice.” (laughing)

AUNT: We take it for granted and waste water. We shouldn’t take it for granted but we do. You know, we turn on the water to brush our teeth and sometimes we just let it run… Or we run the water to get it hot for bathing.

DARYL: That’s true. What I’ve learned to do both in public restrooms and at home, most of the soap is liquid soap anyway. I don’t even turn on the water. I take the liquid soap, rub it on my hands and then wash it off. So I’ll rub that in and then turn on the water to wash it off. And I have all kinds of techniques I’ve learned over the years to conserve.

AUNT: That’s good. I remember my mom and my brother would save the water and use it outside on the plants.

DARYL: Yeah! I remember my husband told me how he grew up with a bucket in the bathtub so he’d run the water to get it hot, fill up the bucket and place it outside the tub and then take his shower. I said, “Man! That’s really workin’ hard! That’s amazing!”

AUNT: It’s a good idea. That way you can water your garden or else everything will die in it if there isn’t enough water to go around.

DARYL: And you don’t waste it since you’re trying to get the water warm anyway. So you fill that up to get the water warm and then take you take your shower.

AUNT: My father always worried that the septic tank would over flow. Of course, now we have sewers. That was always such a terrible worry all those years. We’d worry about that if we used too much water. My husband worried about it, too. If you don’t have sewers and your own septic you tend to worry about things like that. Back in our old place we had a septic tank and leaching fields. Sometimes he’d say, “Don’t use the water” and we’d have to lay-off for a while. So when we moved he said, “When we get a house it has to have a sewage system. We can’t have a septic tank. It’s too nerve-wracking.”

DARYL: I’ll bet!

AUNT: So, what do you guys watch on TV now? I know you’re all into this Dark Shadows. I’d like to see more of it. I think it would enhance my experience with what you’re doing.

DARYL: Well I could probably send you some DVDs of a nice 101 set that I like. But, for the most part, watchin’ a soap opera? Even if it’s supernatural and different? Being exposed to it can really get ya aggravated and snotty. That’s what I’ve noticed with a majority of the fans I’ve had to interact with. They just… they hate the protagonist, most of these people, they absolutely hate the protagonist, for whatever reason. They treat him like he’s just a regular old man chasing after young women. And I’m thinking, “He’s a vampire! Dracula did the same thing!” (laughing)

AUNT: A-ha.

DARYL: However, my husband watches quite a bit of TV. But since I’m stuck in this thing I can’t watch any new shows or movies anymore. I can only watch the film “Clue”, Dark Shadows, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, The Addams Family, The Munsters, everything that I’m involving in it, that’s all that I can focus on.

AUNT: Oh, wow!

DARYL: Because my Muse has throttled me. I try to do something else and I can’t do it. So, that’s why I’m desperate. My Muse is a very harsh mistress.

AUNT: I wish we had some way to contact you with someone who is in the business. You know, you have such a talent. You should be working for some of them doing this kind of creative stuff.

DARYL: I agree! But it’s like I told my neighbour, she was taking me back from the market today, and I said, “I know the answers to all my problems, the difficulty is I don’t actually own the solutions. This is like if I needed a supplement for magnesium or potassium and I couldn’t find it at any stores.” That’s what’s happening. There’s no way I can obtain the solutions.

AUNT: Yes, yes, yes, you don’t have access.

DARYL: And as with a lot of people they tell themselves, “Well I’m depressed therefore my problem of depression is solved.” No it’s not. You know what the problem is, you haven’t solved it yet. You know, that’s the terrible thing about right now. So many people say, “Well I have this diagnosis so I’m going to let that be the excuse for everything wrong that I do rather than solving it.”

AUNT: (laughing) Mmm-hmm!

DARYL: It’s awful! (sad laughter, and sighs) Yeah, I’ve been makin’ a lot of people angry since they’re used to so much bickering anyway. So I went looking for other people, and other people are a little better but I’m still not getting the chat on the work. And a lot of that is due to the internet leaning people into a lot of like-clicks and sharing memes, which are basically greeting-card photo-files. People don’t talk that much anymore. I had to let my audience know, “Hey, I need X,Y, & Z to keep sharing it. Otherwise I’m going to keep making it on my own. I spent my life-savings and am doing the hardest work of my life and I need more than numbers. I have to find the right people to share it with who can talk to me about what they’re picking up on with this show I’m creating.” I have hundreds, even thousands of listeners right now.

AUNT: (surprise) Do you really?

DARYL: Yes, I do. I got it to multiple different websites and I get downloads every single day.

AUNT: Goodness!!

DARYL: So, you figure all they’d have to do is say they liked or laughed at A, B, C, or X, Y, and Z, this and this and this, just a little summary of what they enjoyed per episode and they’re not doin’ it. It’s crazy. And I’ve said, Hey, if it’s being scared of fandom politics with some of these soap opera fans? It’s like William Shatner said on Saturday Night Live,

just a tv show william shatner

“It’s just a TV show, dammit! It’s just a TV show!”

Nobody’s gonna come and get’cha. Ya gotta nurture the talent. I can’t get paid. In fact I’ve paid my life-savings to create this to make it easy for people to get. I’ve sent people CDs and I have one radio station airing it, I might get another one soon.

AUNT: Well that sounds good!

DARYL: It sounds good, but, yeah, if people aren’t talkin’ there’s somethin’ wrong. It’s because the internet’s made a lot of them these robotic Eloi, like in “The Time Machine” from the 1960s where Weena’s drowning, and the rest of the Eloi, all her friends, are just staring at her drown, they’re not helping her at all? It’s like that.

others look on as Weena drowns

They’re just watchin’ her drown and going, “Well, this is amusing.” And then George is like, “Why doesn’t somebody help her?!” And he gets his jacket off and rushes in!

AUNT: (knowing laugh) Yeah.

DARYL: That’s what’s happened. Everybody just shares files and they stare at the horror and they like-click it and that’s it! I’m like, “You guys? (laughing) Ya gotta wake up.” These machines were not created so you could just be a robot. It’s so you can communicate.

AUNT: Well maybe that’s why it’s so successful. People want to do that and are lazy, generally.

DARYL: YEAH! They forgot how to talk. Like in the 1990’s a lot of people were talking because most of it was text and now people are all dazzled with, “Ohhhh, look at the pretty pictures!” And I’m like, “I’m so tired of the pretty pictures.” (laughing) We gotta be better than this. Plus, this is what kills me, the influence of human empathy and intelligence created all of these wonderful inventions and now it’s being given to a lot of docile primates.

AUNT: Ah! (laughing)

DARYL: A bunch of people who can’t appreciate it, some are spoiled or whatever and just go, “Oooo, the pretty pictures!” and they’re all dazzled and I’m saying, “We got this technology because people were smart and communicative and that’s why we have all this and now we’ve all regressed into a kind of lemur.” It drives me nuts!

AUNT: Right. Well, it’s true, though. Yeah… Very true. It’s a shame, huh?

DARYL: And that’s what I want to change with this thing. I notice some of the people who can talk to me? They can’t comment so well because they’re still fragmented by the technology. They like Star Trek, they like Kirk and Spock Star Trek, they like Picard and Data The Next Generation Star Trek, that kind of thing? And those were very uplifting “let’s make ourselves better” programs. The new Star Trek movies aren’t really like that. It’s more about conflict. I said, “You know what this is? It’s the new Star Trek. It’s showing how to make things better.”

star trek old

TNG_header

AUNT: Oh, okay!

DARYL: Even though there is no Star Trek in my program, the essence is the same, let’s improve our lives.

AUNT: That’s good, yes!

DARYL: And because it melds so many shows it’s like the same thing, where The Enterprise is going to multiple different worlds and there are all these different species. I’ve got the soap-opera but I’ve also got The Ghost & Mrs. Muir and The Addams Family, etc. They’re all meeting! So it is like Star Trek because it’s all these different cultures and universes melding!

AUNT: Yes, yes. That’s fun. That’s right!

DARYL: (laughing) So, I told two people who are giving out these postcards that I had made, I said, “Hit the Star Trek conventions! Please, hit the Star Trek conventions! That’s the people who are going to understand this!”  Yes, the new Star Trek isn’t really Star Trek, my project is the new Star Trek. And that’s another reason it’s been so hard to get people active with it because most of the people who do fanwork with just the soap-opera, they’re more about conflict than morality plays and that’s what I’m doing is a morality play.

AUNT: (cheerful) Okay!

DARYL: Anyway, I just thought I’d call you to find out if I could send you some more CDs because I don’t have enough to occupy myself and focus on. I did the voice-acting today for one character for my fifteenth episode just to keep going because I can’t do anything else. But I have managed to get started on the cleaning. But I wanted to see how you were doing and to make more disks for you.

AUNT: Oh, sure that would be great. I gotta get busy and work on the others. I listen more than once, you know.

DARYL: Yeah, I actually listened to them for over a year, the old copies, and that’s when I knew I had something good. I listened to them repeatedly, and the lines were so good like in the film Clue and on the other shows. I realized, “I’ve got gold.” I have to find a way to nurture the talent, but a lot of people online, they just like-click it and that’s not good enough. (laughing) I gotta find out what was enjoyed.

AUNT: Mmm-hmmm.

DARYL: And it drives me crazy because people will talk about entertainment they enjoyed to a third-party. If the person who created it asked them, “Hey, will you tell me what you liked?” they’re not as willing to do that unless they’re super-famous. What usually happens is, “Hey, I like this so much, I want to tell a friend about it!” and I’m asking, “Hey, whatever you’re telling a friend about what you enjoyed about this, tell me. That’s what I want to know.”

AUNT: Yes.

DARYL:  I don’t want a lot of praise. For me it’s a journey. These aren’t any of my characters minus a precious two I added. I just want to know that third-party chat. That’s what’s driving me crazy. Other people are talking, but they’re not talking to me.

AUNT: Yes, I can understand your plight, yes.

DARYL: And I figured you would, ‘cause you’re really sharp! (laughing)

AUNT: (giggling) Well, I don’t know if I am or not, but with this I’m gonna try.


Then we discussed the wedding my husband and I had and how much she loved how we went about it, as well as visiting the tea shop we’d had our reception at and enjoying their sandwich plates and so forth. I mentioned how we visited a gift shop nearby that had a player piano recently. (This is major as we rarely get out to enjoy things.) It played the “University of Maine, Stein Song” I knew from Rudy Vallee and managed to sing most if it in my best impression of him. A few boys were totally amused and one smiled, “Good singing!”

Thank you!

So, until next time my gentle readers who have to deal with my drunken angst…

Peace.

The Love of Dr. Julia Hoffman

julia waiting for barnabas to save her from the riddler

Yep, don’t hear too much about this. It looks like even The Riddler can keep these goodies from us. But be it a riddle or no, it is true. We do have love for Dr. Julia Hoffman.

Haters of her do exist, as well as those who dislike her, but I rarely run across them. When I first saw Dr. Julia Hoffman coming into play on Dark Shadows I thought, “Whoah, she’s got some nerve.”

Remind you of anyone? 😉

My own irritation with that dwindled as time went on. She seemed to calm down when she came to Collinwood and got lost in the swirl of so many problems. As like with Willie Loomis, once a person has to identify with the hurts of others they become more empathetic and concerned. I remember Quentin Collins changed as well when he found himself in a situation he couldn’t control.

For sympathizers of Dr. Julia Hoffman we have some of the best possible people, we truly do. They not only love Julia and the Julia/Barnabas romantic pairing, but who else do they love?

Barnabas Collins

Barnabas Collins

They love him romantically, or lustily, or as a friend. They say, “Oh, it would have been nice if he reciprocated Julia Hoffman! I like that idea. She cared so much about him.” They also express themselves with sincerity as a fan of anything else. I’ve often heard from them, “Now you know I’m a Julia/Barnabas fan,” before moving forward with something fun and chatty about my work. It doesn’t bother me to hear this. It’s said in a well-grounded way that someone would tell me, “Well, you know I’m really into The Beatles rather than Depeche Mode”. It’s like the love of a music preference while maintaining people have other favourites in their lives.

The other thing lovers of Julia Hoffman tell me is, “Wow! Professor STOKES?! For Julia? That’s a splendid idea! I hadn’t thought of that. Professor Stokes is great and he was interested in Julia too!”

Super Stokes

He’s groovy, he’s cool, he has a monocle!

And generally? Julia lovers like a lot of things. They are upbeat, winning and they know the difference between reality and fantasy. “Hey, it’s just a story. It’s a good story, but we’re pretending and we’re exploring that. No big deal.” Occasionally they do shake a fist at Barnabas Collins for not loving Julia, but they do it once and then they’re done. 🙂

Julia lovers have a fair grasp of psychology as well and look at themselves and their lives as such, similar to Julia herself. They meet with Julia-extremists thinking they’ve found a kindred-soul, then watch further seeing the odd behaviour that comes out and… slowly back away. “Oh dear,” they think, “this isn’t going down as I expected. This person has, uh, more than an enjoyment of Julia/Barnabas. In fact, I’m not sure they truly are enjoying what they’re going for.”

I, myself, felt the need to analyze all this to try and figure out what the hell was happening with my own work getting so darned much silence and for so long. That is changing but 2014 wasn’t the best year of my life. I’ve been through ringer with fans of all sorts. As patiently as I could. I wasn’t often given that gesture of kindness in return. It builds up on ya. (Believe me, like-clicks a go-go and friend requests on facebook without discussion as to why increases that confusion, too.)


Lovers of Julia Hoffman have been some of the better supporters to what I’ve put together. They see a unique method of handling both Julia’s woes as well as that of Barnabas Collins, not to mention everyone else. And because of the likelihood that the Julia/Barnabas pairing is popular they were never afraid to speak up nor get nasty about Julia/Eliot. They like the characters for themselves and have a preference for the positive. They don’t grind their teeth watching Dark Shadows, but usually respond to bad things occurring on it with a breath of, “Oh, noooo… *sigh* Well, it IS a soap-opera.”

The concern of sympathy for Julia Hoffman’s love of Barnabas Collins can be summed up in that one word:

Sympathy.

That’s what makes these fans some of the best for Dark Shadows. They appreciate the struggles everyone had to go through, not only the characters but the creators of the program. They also sympathize with anyone facing hardship and, like Julia, want to help. They haven’t been scared away by anyone going nuts at them for being a fan of Julia/Barnabas, whereas fans of Roxanne, Maggie and Josette have been hit with the troubles of not being a Julia/Barnabas fan. Julia lovers are not only easy-going but they care about coming to the bottom of a problem. They listen intently, they look at as many details of a situation as possible. Very important when it takes that kind of comprehension to keep track of so many wild things going on in Dark Shadows.

These lovers of Julia or Julia/Barnabas have turned out to be some of the best people I have ever encountered online. Being less fragmented by not feeling outnumbered they keep to concerning themselves with friendship and communication. They enjoy a lot of things beyond Dark Shadows. They also enjoy Star Trek as several other listeners of mine have told me. If I had a dollar for every time we have detailed discussions about Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation I might have just enough money to pay for half of The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows.


Back in the late 1970s, Harlan Ellison described peoples difficulty with science-fiction, mainly those in charge of our entertainment, “They see machinery, they see machinery and they think that’s what science-fiction is and it isn’t. It’s about people and the effect of the future on people. They can not get it through their heads.”

Lovers of Julia Hoffman also know that it’s about people, all kinds of people, everything is related and a persons feelings are important. They have never shrugged off my hurts at making so many laugh and never getting to find out what they laughed at or why. They’ve seen my temper flare and they come to me quickly with concern telling me, “I know you, and I know you aren’t mean-spirited… heh, heh, heh, actually, some of your sarcastic comments left me in stitches!”

Julia sees Eliot

Yes, we love Dr. Julia Hoffman and we know she’s a big-girl.

Her happiness is our happiness, as well as everyone’s happiness even when we, ourselves, are not doing so well.

Loving Julia Hoffman for herself means we love everyone for who they are and want to help. Please, keep it up! This is a good thing and I heartily endorse it. ❤

Peace.

Why Create The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, Or Any Story?

There is a lot of behaviour I’ve enacted in this project that I am not proud of.

Why did this happen?

I expected for human beings to behave as naturally as I discovered them to be as I progressed through this life. When someone makes them laugh they show it, when someone entertains them they applaud, when someone touches their inner depths they discuss it.

It’s taken over three years to get a mere handful of people to do this for my work.

Why?

Several reasons, perhaps. One being device technology, of course. It presented us with lazier ways of perusing a massive source of information so that the internet no longer was a 2-way street, nor a zone of communication with several people interacting as we had in the days of textual forums. It is now presented to us in more robotic maneuvers and more of a one way street where people tapping into the online world are not expected to respond with anything more than a like-click or a thumbs down if even that.

I have done so much hard work to get my biggest achievement to youtube. Really, why wouldn’t I become extremely angry and post rants when all I got were thumbs down over there? If you were me wouldn’t it piss you off too? One of my best helpers has let me recognize that if the same malarkey I’ve received from doing what I do and to not require commentary for it would never be handled well by anyone doing it unless they didn’t care. Someone doing what I do would be a caring person. Caring is something that this new world has diminished in vast amounts this century.

My husband told me, “I understand when someone says ‘That’s just the way the internet is, or how things are.’ When you show surprise to that, but to back it up with, ‘That’s just the way things are because that’s how they SHOULD be,’ that’s when it all breaks down into idiocy.” And I agree with him. This creation was not invented to be a one-way street, but we’ve been so programmed that it should be. We like the fact we’ve been hoodwinked toward laziness of faculties and disassociation with each other in using it. In fact, we cradle this laziness and obliviousness to our very souls. As History has shown, humans in masses are very easy to program into complacency.

But what of the symbols in that complacency?

One thing that’s really driving me insane are Jesus memes.

jesuschrist

The teachings of Christ have been degraded into share files. “Yes! This is what I believe! I’ll LIKE-click it. I’ll SHARE-FILE it. But I won’t do it. I won’t behave that way. I won’t help my neighbour. I will not be The Good Samaritan. Forget the teachings themselves, but I’ll post them and believe in them. Action makes no difference.”

But what of the people who’ve helped me the most? Yes, they are believers in these teachings as well as The Gospel (Good News). They BEHAVE like Christians. A blogger reached out immediately and devotedly to my cause. A reader responded as she would to any material she was enjoying. Another saw my pain and spoke up. A writer showed her merit in talent and worth as well as craftsmanship in the arts. Two others I wrote to asking for help showed their worth in what they could do. If they couldn’t do much in the commentary department they certainly could in empathizing with my troubles.

But what of all the silent downloaders, listeners, readers?

Some of them are robotic like-clickers and they show-off their religious beliefs with almost anything but the virtues of which it is based on. Those virtues are kindness, communication, consideration for someone hurting. These are things many of the silent refuse to embody. I’m not sure why. Perhaps they’re simply church-goers rather than enablers of a better society.

In many regards they behave as if the world of Dark Shadows is more important to them than The Bible. They’re more involved in their own egos of which romantic pairing makes the most sense to them than listening to what the characters might want for themselves. This would definitely stretch out to not listening to real people. Real people, like fictional characters, have wants and desires, things that move them, sorrows that hurt them, trials and joys. Watching people suffer like a bystander and only filming the hurt or sharing the file is not something I see as Biblical practice, or practice of any faith except perhaps that of…

satanic_bible

Anton LaVey…

It is the manual of utter self-indulgence, that which cares for no one but the self, the ego and its higher purpose to feed the lusts of the body. If one cannot release themselves of guilt? Revel in it. Ah, yes. I see this behaviour all around me. Perhaps “The Black Pope” is wise to reveal such atrocities in the human psyche to us. If you can’t beat ‘em? Join ‘em! And that’s been my experience at times in this project The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. Perhaps “The Pit of Ultimate Darkness” truly is as dark as Sir Simon Milligan announces in his comedic manner. It’s certainly shown its listeners to be.

Some, I will admit, are likely ones with disabilities, or low-functioning communication skills, be it from lack of funds or lack of practice. But there are several I know for certain are able bodied and can easily type out communication. Why they resist expressing their enjoyment when I’ve repeatedly explained that is the need I have in being their entertainer?

Perhaps, as Brian Wilson sings, “God Only Knows”.

My main purpose has been in helping others. When they want a different romantic pairing I’m more than happy to direct them to someone else’s work. When they want more of mine? Well what were all of those workshops for? I deduced perhaps some of my listeners had debilitating problems so we provided what we could to help others out so they could help me. Working constructively together.

multi matrix game

multi matrix more

When silence is all a person gets one has to expect a wide array of utter confusion from the almost total lack of information. Not only do I not know what was enjoyed I don’t even know why people can’t simply TELL me why they can’t talk to me either. How was I not going to go insane from that much confusion? How? Turning to more intoxicants, liquor being one of them, in loneliness and confusion? Yes. In uncovering fandom politics and bizarre control tactics over a majority of romantic pairings in the fanwork? Of course! That’s going to drive someone mad. This is a television show, not re-writing the Talmud.

Keeping kinder hearts silent? What was the grand gesture in that? How was persistently giving Dr. Julia Hoffman her crush over and over again going to help anyone? It certainly never helped her. She’s a fictional character, a strong woman made weak by isolating our own desires in her, or those of Angelique. Forcing the issue and telling-off a major icon for which Dark Shadows would have been canceled if he hadn’t been introduced; Why was invalidating his hurts and longings good for any of us, or him or Julia?

We resist who Barnabas Collins loves for some sinister reason. We resist standing up for what we believe in beyond posting memes about it or like-clicking it for another sinister purpose. We’d rather listen to ourselves than someone else for some diabolical scheme. I’m not sure what it is. Shame? Programming? Shyness? Obliviousness? All of the above?

The standards of storytelling imply that it’s all about conflict. I’ve found that it isn’t. It’s about reaching a moral precept or several ethical values. In Episode 2 of The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows Wadworth explains to Barnabas something similar in himself about Willie Loomis.


WADWORTH: I understand that he may not have been the most superior underling in the course of matters, but have you considered that he was already rather abused to begin with?

BARNABAS: … a… a bit.

WADSWORTH: See anything similar in yourself there, sir?

BARNABAS: (regretfully) Oh… yes. I’m afraid I do.

WADSWORTH: Yes. So rather than concern yourself with him writing memoirs to betray you, don’t you think you might have put some credit in his way?


And in Episode 14 (still in production) what does Wadsworth express to Mr. Loomis about Barnabas Collins?


WADSWORTH: Well, if you ever wondered why he became so tragic, it might have been for the same reason that you did.


Is this ringing any bells with anyone? Is storytelling solely about conflict or something deeper? Is History all about war and suffering and politicians? On all counts, no. It’s about moral precepts, teaching us something. But what are our moral precepts of the day?

“That movie sucked so hard it could have whitened my carpet!”

Yep, a funny way of bashing something, or just outright bashing it entirely. This is the trap we are in right now. Dissing, bad-mouthing, deciding that our anal-retentive persnickety attitude passes for developed aesthetic taste. If we have something good to say it better be as rotten as we can make it.

But still we claim to be spiritual, trustworthy and downright good people. We hate bullies. We despise rudeness all the while being rude.

I have never been ruder in my entire life than since I came to know so many fans of Dark Shadows.

Collinsport

Was that because of the television program? No.

I was much nicer when I was watching it on my own and working on The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. I became rude when I got the silence, when I saw the bickering, when I saw the abuse-hungry control freaks. I watched the arguments and inaccurate statements of fans. I watched a woman be the worst thing she could ever be as she lashed out on people who enjoyed the 2012 film. Marina Sirtis commented that people were not accepting in the beginning of “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. I’ve been dying to tell her, “You think you had it bad? Check this shit out!”

What good is a fandom if the loud arrogant types silence the better behaved enjoyers of it?

What good are the teachings of spirituality if the followers don’t act on what was taught?

What good is The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows if no one is learning from the series but just downloading it like greedy schmucks?

What good is the internet, invented for communication, when we don’t use it to talk to each other?

What good are any of the stories we’re fed in books, movies, or television shows if we don’t learn from the examples they show?

They all basically say the exact same thing, “Do in life what you would regret not having done when you are facing death.”

tim to go

That’s my question. If Daryl Wor gets hit by a car tomorrow, what will you regret not having told her?

For Those of Us Who Are Still Alive…

I repeatedly get responses from a blogpost to my inbox that discourses on the pains of suicide and how that affects people.

Why is this? Why do people care enough to post about that horror when we have so much more in us for the interconnectedness of the greater good? Why are we dwelling on this? Why are we mourning these losses and talking so much about changing them when we don’t prove a tinkers dam to those who exist with us now?

We lost one of the most talented comedians in the last year.

Quotes-Alone-By-Robin-Williams-Image

Then within the last week we lost this wonderful individual:

spock

Anyone notice that word? “Human”?

Human is an essence through the Evolution of our beings. Whether you believe in Creationism or not, Evolution is real. We change. We alter. We affect our universe from the time our ancestors became curious about the way things worked, how they came into existence, and how to change them for the betterment of our lives. (This is easily seen in the last 100-200 years.)

We live in a time of great luxury and chaos. We could be so much better. But we choose to be robots online.

I am sick of that.


I learned about internet access and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how de-humanized we were becoming. Email was impersonal. Now? It’s more personal than I ever expected it could be. But online interaction, ever since I began The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, has gotten worse and worse and worse. If I had started my series in 2005 I believe better things would have come. People had keyboards. They didn’t take everything I had to offer from device technology with rotten keyboards. They weren’t noncommunicable to humour, they didn’t download “the world” at the press of a button, they didn’t share memes and files all the live-long day. Some people believed the internet was ONLY created for porn, but others shared our lives together in chat rooms with bad dial-up connections and we were alive anyway…

.Sailor-Senshi-sailor-senshi-6411051-1024-768

We were fighting evil by moonlight…

We enjoyed each others company, we had battles with each other, we won each others hearts, but then ICQ came and instant messaging happened. More and more of the television zombie mentality took over our souls as time went on in ways I never saw because I became alienated from the online world in all my own personal horrors.

And then I found…

Collinsport

Collinsport

A spooky place I’d never seen before as I was going through the deepest Hell of my own life. I was numb, but I pressed on. I saw potential for it, problems they had, many of which I had been through. Other spooky characters of the same time period and those that could shift and make those changes. The massive onslaught and variety of abuse I suffered sat before me and the straw that broke my camel’s back was the destruction of Sam Evans. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I had anhedonia, I had escaped my tormentors, I have been willing to call the police if my Jason McGuire dad ever dare try to enter my life again. I learned how to get a restraining order against family members if the necessity arrives.

But here is a town that is living what I lived through, all within myself. The spooky, the conflict, the destruction and all the while the homes are beautiful, the personalities in each life provide the cohesion toward change for the better. The ghosts walk, the people drink, the waves crash, the world spins. The history is rich, this place could turn around.

Wait… this is a soap-opera. This is not going to bring any lift any time soon or ever…

Unless…

Someone came up with an alteration…

Ooops, that’s not what people are posting. In so many decades no one is changing these things.

Until now…

Sadly… it’s likely too late. We post memes of our dearest desires, our vilest hurts, are fondest beliefs.

But do we live them?

I have my doubts.

I went into this to find kindred spirits, communication, a way to live, and discovered how much talent I truly had and how much farther I could go with a good audience.

I’ve made thousands of people laugh, I’ve let the hair down at Collinwood with scores of bonus characters, I’ve reached out in every way I can, I’ve spent my life savings, I’ve driven my husband mad as well as loved him with new inspiration. I’ve contacted every college radio station I could find, reached iTunes, every fandom, every avenue, the spooky, the Gothic, the science-fiction crowd, spewed my angst back on any haters that came in my way. I knew I deserved better, I knew they deserved better. I managed to get so much only to find my people were breaking down by the time I found them.

I lived long, I fought hard, I prospered, but for human innovation and communication?

I failed. 😦

I never wanted praise. I know I have talent. I am blatantly aware of it. All I had to do was listen to my demos on walks to work to know that to be true. I wanted to fuel it with a talkative audience. I wanted discussion. Then all I found were silent numbers. And… I cracked.

Maybe it is too late. Maybe my talent is not worth the resurgence of true discourse. The online world is all about like-clicks now. We aren’t talking to each other anymore. We are programmed and by that we are being destroyed.

Daleks never scared me, The Master barely irked me, but what did bother me in the world of Doctor Who?

Cybermen_formation_Doomsday

The Cybermen

The Cybermen tend towards covert activity, scheming from hiding and using human pawns or robots to act in their place until they need to appear. They also seek to increase their numbers by converting others into Cybermen (a process known as “cyber-conversion” or “robotisation” in the older episodes and “upgrading” in the newer episodes), an often painful process as body parts are removed and replaced with cybernetic replacements.

As far as I am concerned most of us have become this kind of deranged mentality. We don’t care who controls us as long as we believe we are in control somehow. However, if we aren’t truly communicating we are not in control. And as many Cybermen have complained when being faced with their own personalities again, “I’m so cold.”

And…

So am I.

Maybe it’s just too late.

Maybe this project is simply another time-waster swarmed into the cesspool the internet has become. Maybe I should do more than I did in 2013 by chunking my text and spending a rollercoaster year of sorting through the madness and finding the better people who might be believers.

Maybe I should destroy everything: the text, the audio, the updates, the marriage novel, the facebook account, the tumblr account, the wordpress account, the google account, the youtube videos, the podomatic links, the iTunes connection.

Maybe, just maybe, I should simply give up.

With the lack of communication it seems to be what everyone wants.

Because obviously…

cyberman

You’re just a dead Cyberman… aren’t you?


Prove you’re a dead Cyberman: Give me a like-click. Go ahead.

Words to a fellow DS creator… the extent of creativity…

Revealed is a wonderful expression of all that we’ve been going through in this odd world… a missive to another hard working entertainer:


I’m intrigued….My being in the realm of humour… well… the stand-ups get on stage for the reaction. Gettin’ numbers and like-clicks is the equivalent of having a grandparent pat you on the head for a crayon drawing or the equivalent of… ONE CLAP!

Especially droppin’ off links to major works in audio, one of which took over a month! “Oooo, a like-click. I feel SO ACCOMPLISHED!

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All that crying and screaming I performed really touched ya, eh?”

With Archive of Our Own, yeah. It could be better but the people running it certainly don’t care much to take advice from the users even if they have, I dunno, donated money to the bloody site? 😛 I notice that another beloved writer looks like she gave up on it.

bills hearts

Hint, hint…

Most of my comments for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows at A03 was my husband at work trying to get the conversation going since people forgot how to fricken type responses ten years ago when they went from computers to device tech. *raspberry*

And what’s irritating is with Archive of Our Own you can copy and paste favourite lines to your comments, whereas on fanfiction dot net you can’t. Someone commenting would have to type out bits. Then one dame I asked for help had the gall to review my writing style techniques. It’s like, “Lady, I asked you to tell me what’s FUNNY! You know? Like, Ha ha! This made me laugh?”

Whoops! For whatever reason we like our entertainment vested in human resources while showing we have almost no humanity left in us.

As if so happens, I weird others out by just wanting my people and the discussion while I get downloads for the radio drama episodes and podcasts every single day. And I only have 13 episodes with extras. On top of that I had that damn book editor, Madam Angelique troll, having 7 months of a cow because she couldn’t control my work or me, nor make money off of it, then that film-director trying to order me around.

What kind of a film-director, who is outdoors for his own work, is so agoraphobic to insist I not make tactile advertising??? Just stay online only? Meanwhile people are laughing their asses off at my work and telling me, “You have to do it for you.” or “Sounds like you’re having fun!” Yeah, um, you’re welcome?

money money moneybrit cash

canadian-money

Three years and four thousand dollars later… ?

Graham_Chapman_Portrait

Take your negativity and shove it!

Not to mention the Julia/Barnabas absolutists are RIDICULOUS. I was looking for people who wanted the pairing I uncorked for Barnabas because, from what I could see,

maggie pinstripe

Maggie is…

kitty hampshire

and, ugh, Kitty too, *rolls eyes*

Untitled

a reincarnation of Josette


She and Barnabas wanted each other like crazy. If someone doesn’t like or approve of that? The rest of the people I found who do like it couldn’t care less if others don’t.

But the Julia fanatics? THEY are the ones shoving that idea down everyone else’s throat. I can not tell you how many people have approached me and confessed that they have been harassed by Julia fans, to this day, trying to convert them or win them over. Seriously, what does that say about these women?

tori-amos

(A visual aid in answer to that last question.)

To me; it’s just so weird. Quite a few people want “Margaret Josette Dupres”. They’d been waiting decades for it… but… it’s… erotica. They praise it but don’t always give much in the way of book-club insight. Whereas the radio drama goes EVERYWHERE with all of those fandoms and I’ve had to yank out the discussion from people about it. Still, for the most part, fans of the pairing are continuously discussing the angst they’ve been under for how they’ve been mistreated, when to me (AND a number of Addams Family lovers) the pairing was just plain obvious. That’s why I lash out in inebriation and isolation. I’m like,

Groucho

“Oh… stealing my laughs from me by scaring all these people?”

“I got some Groucho Marx for ya, right here!” lol


Julia sympathizers are chill, usually. They like the Prof. Stokes idea. I was asking one of them which line I should edit for episode 14 (still in production) because I noticed one of the things I did in his lines sounded sexy, and another version was more a statement, “You seem rather fulfilled, Julia.” Of course one Julia sympathizer said, “Yes! Use the sexy one for Stokes!” And so far it’s been the people who are in theater who have a better understanding of all of this. Whereas many DS fans write fanfiction, LOVE Julia, and invalidate everything else. Hmm… here is this iTunes link for my work.

iTunes link for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows

Do y’all know what audio is??? Whoops! That would be admitting it isn’t text. They already invalidate who Barnabas reciprocates, might as well call audio work simply text to top all that off. In my intro to Episode 13 I finally asked everyone,

oscar the grouch

“Why do you all want this Barnabas guy if you think he’s a piece of garbage?” lol


Whereas Victoria, Maggie and Josette fans do love Barnabas a lot; flaws and all. It would be nice to stretch my audio work and reach more Hoffman/Stokes, Willie/Nurse Jackson, or even more Tony/Carolyn, but boy! This Barnabas issue seriously stalls my radio drama! What a mess!

And I’m sure I’ve made LOTS of Julia or Angelique fans grind their teeth when they find out this whole thing healed 8 years of frigidity and my marriage.

No, I actually do NOT beat off to this work. 🙂  In all my woes, I have a happy marriage with a partner. Betch’ya NONE of those people wrote stories that helped them like that. (But… one never knows…) And…? I never INTENDED to do the damn thing! lol

B&Jo

That’s what tapping into Barnabas/Josette can do.

a17

No wonder the Gomez/Morticia types get-it.


I know about one needing a thesaurus. When I channel Barnabas? Damn, that old man is PICKY! Pushes me to get every fricken word as he would say it. But repetitive word usage reminds one of The Book of Mormon.

check it joe

They could make, “And it came to pass” into a drinking game.


I’m glad to hear of others working in other fandoms. I notice people who do DS work but also work in other fandoms are better grounded to the characters. Really ticks off the old DS rules. “You’re just supposed to tack on the names of the characters and do whatever you want.”

star trek old

P’shh! Try doing that in Star Trek

TwinPeaks_openingshotcredits

or Twin Peaks…


Ya ain’t gonna get very far! And other writers know what I mean. They have to deal with, “Huh? You’re not supposed to use historical accuracy, get the characters right, or do any happy endings in Dark Shadows.”

Oh, yeah? Watch us! 🙂


Oh, good LORD! If you’ve heard GOOD things about my audio work, PLEASE let me know what you can! People barely tell me jack-shit! It’s like I need a fricken agent or something! lol (And I do have plans for about 170 eps, maybe. I just want the feedback for fuel to get it all done and over with.) I must have about 500-1,000 listeners
by now.


lookin’ for the lonely,

Daryl

Things I’m Grateful For…

snake pit we never close

Yes, this is a bored and waiting Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce wondering when his damn turn is coming up. I channeled him a little too early for a while, and as a result I began smelling each bite of my food. It was a bit disturbing.

Funny portion I found when I made a tired post on facebook, I was looking through what photo to use to show that and then I found this:

Dear dad who the hell is Julia Hoffman

It cracked me and a few people up because I’d labeled it: “Dear Dad, Who the hell is Julia Hoffman?”


Man, I had no idea what I was getting into when I started all this via crappy equipment back in 2011. As for me it’s seems my whole life has been built to do all of this. I wanted a good education but mainly what I got was pop culture entertainment. Trying to get a good education resulted in learning how whacked-out humans can truly be. They say one thing and then go around doing the opposite. That’s why I like when someone puts up news of good deeds, even when it comes from non-human beings. Then all the comedy and humour I’ve imbibed, as well as the techniques for improving memory. Historical research from both curiousity and from trying to get my original material accurate. Money has always been a major problem, but when I got a little? I stopped buying cheap trinkets and got a ton of dictionaries, lexicons, thesaurus’, synonym/antonym books, and just studied on my own. Could barely afford college so I didn’t attend enough there.

Then someone suggested Vladimir Nabokov. Whoah! This man can WRITE! And English wasn’t his first language? Well this guy is speaking MY language! Wow! I was starting with Transparent Things, if memory serves, and he began a discourse on how when one focuses on a material object the history of that object links in. “Transparent things, through which the past shines!” Yes! Like James Burke’s series, “Connections”! Associative memory! Exactly.

And associative memory is how comedy works. How did Robin Williams accomplish such speed? One thing led to another, and then another and another. He kept going. And this is likely why improvisation was one of his favourite activities. The exploration of the human mind, where might this story go if I become a character or set of characters and let them take over? And as many of us know, it goes far!

Many a character had been taken into my psyche and in depth, as well as original characters I formulated, both to discover them and to discover my own identity. Then I come into Dark Shadows. Wow! These people gots problems! But why? What’s so bad about spooky? Oh! Okay, they aren’t getting the nice spooky. Hmm, what about all those other shows in the 1960s that did get the nice spooky?

Blending them together as accurately as possible? This is why The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is so damn funny. Put all those fun spooks together with spooky people who are hurting? It’s HEALING TIME! Woo-woo! And then… are they meeting for the first time? No. Doing the research and I find, these people could essentially know each other already. Pasts are left open on many shows to allow that flexibility.

As in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

SPOCK: It’s true. I do not have a brother… I have a half-brother.

Sybok

Sybok, Jedi Santa Claus of Vulcan

Come on, THAT must have made ya laugh!

Anyway, as we look over the wild list of characters in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, we find these characters being re-acquainted:

Wadsworth and Willie Loomis

Sophia Petrillo and Mrs. Johnson

Elizabeth Stoddard and Lily Munster

Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce and Dr. Julia Hoffman

Sam Evans/Andre Dupres and Captain Daniel Gregg

As for Endora and Angelique? Of course they know each other!

Then the poor residents of Collinsport have been hooked into being stressed-out so long they’re almost addicted to it. These old acquaintances help them to remember things they’d forgotten, one of those things being how to laugh and enjoy life. (Sound like any DS fans out there?) And again, becoming a comedienne, as  I was hoisted into the massive gaggle of Dark Shadows fans with something different and all the baggage so many have been carting around for so long, using humour is likely how one could get poor Barnabas and Josette to each other in the 1960s.

laughter

Tragedy never seemed to work.


So the list of things to be grateful for:

  • An accidentally healed marriage! (HELL YEAH!)
  • Some bare knowledge that people have been laughing their heads off at my audio work.
  • A re-kindled love for The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.
  • New material from Sir Simon Milligan & Manservant Hecubus. (They deserved a new job together. 🙂 )
  • Finding people who love Thayer David.
  • Seeing Sharon Lentz’s new kitten. (DAMN, that lil’ one is cute!)
  • Finding people who actually love Barnabas Collins and see the depth of his character.
  • Devoted people who don’t believe the hype.
  • New friends who tell you their news and don’t just post memes.
  • Reaching Dark Shadows fans who don’t touch DS fan pages because they know better.
  • Bringing forth new creativity in those who have shown me kindness.
  • Pen pals who still care after all of this time wanting other news. (They now understand there really is no other news.)
  • Long talks on skype with new buddies who have the same passions.
  • Winning “Dark Shadows Memories” from an Angelique/Barnabas fan who likes Monty Python and is awesome.
  • Getting in touch with the Goth crowds again. Damn it, I’m HOME!

But the best thing of all? Many fans of Josette/Barnabas or Maggie/Barnabas, as well as those who puzzled out the reincarnation for so long. They all thought they were alone. Now? They’re meeting and sharing that love for them together. They love the marriage novel. They love seeing the two happy at last. They even love seeing the parallel between Barnabas/Josette & Gomez/Morticia. You know it’s there just from the reciprocation and how strong it is, as well as how spooky.

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As well as other folks who said, “Well, yeah, Barnabas/Josette was a big duh to me, too.”

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows reaches people who normally “avoid anything smelling even remotely like fan fiction”. It’s read to them, it mixes up the things they like, it gives them the characters in recognizable patterns as well as having them let their hair down. It incorporates other shows and movies they love. (Really, who didn’t want more Wadsworth?)  It questions who we are which is a Western Civilization staple that has been extremely neglected for the last decade. And unlike certain other pairings preferences we show our virtue by saying to others, “Don’t like it? There’s plenty of what you want elsewhere. Go and have it.” But what do they do? They troll. They expound insecurities. They have fits. It almost gives one a warm glow.

I got my last troll review about a fortnight to a month ago. I threw back my head and laughed. It was honestly, truly hilarious.

So in all of these things, we have to thank someone for making the internet better, even when we’re ticked-off at malfunctions and mechanical flaws. Someone was trying to bring us all together. Now the problem is getting us to chat more about what we like, solving problems, and bringing some kind of halt to so much clutter. I’d be very grateful for that.

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows Radio Drama & Podcast

Peace.