Look a little awkward? It is.
For the last couple of days I’ve had my nerves rattled from it basically being known I am no longer allowed to vent my frustrations about this on my own timeline. Apparently this sparks in others the need to come up with some philosophical advice that covers up their own guilt, or their laziness, or lack of attentiveness. I’ve seen it many times before and I’m not buying it. Okay, let’s say I posted that on a group page. I can see the conversation going down that road. However, this was on my wall, my personal news, and so what was the result of this attempt to make me feel better that really was a method of making everyone else feel better? It’s succeeded in pissing me off for over two days now. As a result, the work has gone much slower. (Thanks.)
I was explaining to my husband a plant has more wisdom. If a plant requires more sunlight? It bends toward it. When it senses water in one direction? It reaches it’s roots there. When I’m looking for my nutrients to reach this suffocating Muse? Humans don’t produce that. They produce cross-references. A good gardener knows that if you don’t maintain the nourishment? It’s your own damn fault if the garden dies. But now that we’re flippin’ around so many distractions, we’d rather argue about where that sunlight and water is. Doing that? Not one measly tomato is going to grow for you. I can tell ya that easily.
I remember I did a podcast intro where I said doing this series, The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, had been in a cheaper by the dozen method where I did one part over and over, and then the next, and then the next. Today and yesterday I’m noticing it’s better if I go through each scene and add the bits. I’m adding in Milligan & Hecubus’ new performances, but as I’m finding where to put them, I’m raising the pitch on Angelique’s voice and I’m adding in sound effects just so they’re there and I don’t have to hunt for them later. Some will need augmentation or overlapping with lines, and other lines need to be raised in volume, but so far it’s easier to go through Episode 15 this way.
Hmm, then again, now I’m going passed the Victoria, Morticia and Grandmama lines, although I did supply the bubbling cauldron sound effects. I’m fairly happy with what I’ve got for Morticia and Grandmama. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been viewing the first episodes of The Addams Family again, but it feels like Carolyn Jones wasn’t as deep as I thought, so what I have is likely just as well until I can study for new radio episodes in the future. We need that family.
Then there is a scene of Maggie and Barnabas looking out the window, the Willie & Sarah scene and then Hecubus says:
“And back in Josette’s aquamarine room of many ornate fixtures.”
I think I like the old performance of this more. It’s so cheerful!
Aw, crap… [laughing] This line for Sir Simon Milligan still gets me. Heaven knows *I* have endured the stink-eye from letting Barnabas and Maggie unite in this… I think it’s just the way Milligan manages to announce it when there is a gathering of the clan at the main house of Collinwood:
“One would expect a number of stink-eyes and suspiciously raised brows at the affection our love-bats are obviously NOT hiding from each other or anyone else.”
All right, now I’m just focusing on our two radio-show hosts. There is too much in between I can see that needs to be altered. Maggie’s lines likely have to be re-performed. Ohhh, her chortling voice! How to reproduce that… Well, I can watch or listen to some Josette Dupres as well and see if I can shoot for a cross-blend now since that’s what’s going on. I’ve wondered how KLS might have performed that given the chance. I guess Bella Heathcote was the only one who got an opportunity to experience that blend. Remember, she does say at the beginning of the film:
My work began years before this… Imagine my shock in the theater!
It reminds me that people treat me like a single person when I’m doing the work of an entire production crew. Not cute, people. Not cute. And the very opposite of helpful, too. As Warren told me, “It’s not like you didn’t explain what you needed. YOU DID!” He’s correct. I did, and I do, repeatedly.
Another dear friend on the grassroots list told me, “That entire discussion you sent me made me completely indignant. These are people you sent CDs to? And you also spend a great deal of your time empathizing with their everyday woes and concerns. You don’t deserve that.” Aye, that’s just it. They’re feeling bad about not keeping up and want to blanket it with something.
Guilt exists for a purpose; it’s to make us change our ways. Sadly some people just wallow in it, try to deflect it with various excuses, but those of better judgement? They either change or they stop feeling guilty. Which is what my husband expressed in one of our workshops. That advice has certainly saved me from a world of misery. It’s likely why I have been better at focusing on creative pursuits. But we’re human, we need others to talk to. Not a great deal of that going around between the internet clutter, I must say.
Now I’m seeing some lines I did twice that are doubled up on the old file as well. Most of the demo was performed in December of 2013, possibly November. I remember I lost my voice for a while at the end of that year. Having re-performed the lines this last week it’s good to use those rather than guess which of the previous performances were better. So the scenes are switching and the hosts lines are being spliced in. There is another scene between Willie & Wadsworth here, then there is one with Barnabas Collins finally meeting with the ghost of Caleb Collins at the seaview property. Time period jokes abound here…
Oh, yes, and now that there is another vampire in town, the dogs are howling again, which is going to freak poor Willie Loomis out. Went through all the howling I had to discern what to place in there to format later. Sad to consider all of this hard work will only be enjoyed by a precious few, but then I think I’ve done enough. I’ve served my time only to get numbers, silence, control freaks and haters who speak up more than the people who enjoy it. I was detailing that with a church group, “We seem to be stuck to only detail what we dislike and we go on about that at length. Not so much what we enjoy unless we’re not thinking about it, really. I’d like that to change.”
As for this scene with Caleb and Barnabas, it’s nice to hear a bit of it again. I think after I finish this audio draft I’ll put it on my player. Maybe that will help motivate me more. As Caleb and Barnabas discuss Maggie…
CALEB: She would be the one to help change this place. You’d be sated at last, and she cares about people far more, with a genuine affection. Like Tom, she’s not just a pretty face either. It’s sad how beauty attracts on the outside so much, when there is so much more to it. Pesky, that is.
BARNABAS: But lovely if that combination can be found and admired all at once. ❤
And now to splice in the final Hecubus line, a sadness creeping in. I possibly need to do that over, but I’d say it’s time to save the file, switch it for listening, 57 minutes and all the extras… Not nearly done, but getting there. Could have done more a lot sooner if I had the fun commentary, but ah well. Just have to plug away and await an online change in people… that likely will never occur.