Why Create The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, Or Any Story?

There is a lot of behaviour I’ve enacted in this project that I am not proud of.

Why did this happen?

I expected for human beings to behave as naturally as I discovered them to be as I progressed through this life. When someone makes them laugh they show it, when someone entertains them they applaud, when someone touches their inner depths they discuss it.

It’s taken over three years to get a mere handful of people to do this for my work.

Why?

Several reasons, perhaps. One being device technology, of course. It presented us with lazier ways of perusing a massive source of information so that the internet no longer was a 2-way street, nor a zone of communication with several people interacting as we had in the days of textual forums. It is now presented to us in more robotic maneuvers and more of a one way street where people tapping into the online world are not expected to respond with anything more than a like-click or a thumbs down if even that.

I have done so much hard work to get my biggest achievement to youtube. Really, why wouldn’t I become extremely angry and post rants when all I got were thumbs down over there? If you were me wouldn’t it piss you off too? One of my best helpers has let me recognize that if the same malarkey I’ve received from doing what I do and to not require commentary for it would never be handled well by anyone doing it unless they didn’t care. Someone doing what I do would be a caring person. Caring is something that this new world has diminished in vast amounts this century.

My husband told me, “I understand when someone says ‘That’s just the way the internet is, or how things are.’ When you show surprise to that, but to back it up with, ‘That’s just the way things are because that’s how they SHOULD be,’ that’s when it all breaks down into idiocy.” And I agree with him. This creation was not invented to be a one-way street, but we’ve been so programmed that it should be. We like the fact we’ve been hoodwinked toward laziness of faculties and disassociation with each other in using it. In fact, we cradle this laziness and obliviousness to our very souls. As History has shown, humans in masses are very easy to program into complacency.

But what of the symbols in that complacency?

One thing that’s really driving me insane are Jesus memes.

jesuschrist

The teachings of Christ have been degraded into share files. “Yes! This is what I believe! I’ll LIKE-click it. I’ll SHARE-FILE it. But I won’t do it. I won’t behave that way. I won’t help my neighbour. I will not be The Good Samaritan. Forget the teachings themselves, but I’ll post them and believe in them. Action makes no difference.”

But what of the people who’ve helped me the most? Yes, they are believers in these teachings as well as The Gospel (Good News). They BEHAVE like Christians. A blogger reached out immediately and devotedly to my cause. A reader responded as she would to any material she was enjoying. Another saw my pain and spoke up. A writer showed her merit in talent and worth as well as craftsmanship in the arts. Two others I wrote to asking for help showed their worth in what they could do. If they couldn’t do much in the commentary department they certainly could in empathizing with my troubles.

But what of all the silent downloaders, listeners, readers?

Some of them are robotic like-clickers and they show-off their religious beliefs with almost anything but the virtues of which it is based on. Those virtues are kindness, communication, consideration for someone hurting. These are things many of the silent refuse to embody. I’m not sure why. Perhaps they’re simply church-goers rather than enablers of a better society.

In many regards they behave as if the world of Dark Shadows is more important to them than The Bible. They’re more involved in their own egos of which romantic pairing makes the most sense to them than listening to what the characters might want for themselves. This would definitely stretch out to not listening to real people. Real people, like fictional characters, have wants and desires, things that move them, sorrows that hurt them, trials and joys. Watching people suffer like a bystander and only filming the hurt or sharing the file is not something I see as Biblical practice, or practice of any faith except perhaps that of…

satanic_bible

Anton LaVey…

It is the manual of utter self-indulgence, that which cares for no one but the self, the ego and its higher purpose to feed the lusts of the body. If one cannot release themselves of guilt? Revel in it. Ah, yes. I see this behaviour all around me. Perhaps “The Black Pope” is wise to reveal such atrocities in the human psyche to us. If you can’t beat ‘em? Join ‘em! And that’s been my experience at times in this project The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. Perhaps “The Pit of Ultimate Darkness” truly is as dark as Sir Simon Milligan announces in his comedic manner. It’s certainly shown its listeners to be.

Some, I will admit, are likely ones with disabilities, or low-functioning communication skills, be it from lack of funds or lack of practice. But there are several I know for certain are able bodied and can easily type out communication. Why they resist expressing their enjoyment when I’ve repeatedly explained that is the need I have in being their entertainer?

Perhaps, as Brian Wilson sings, “God Only Knows”.

My main purpose has been in helping others. When they want a different romantic pairing I’m more than happy to direct them to someone else’s work. When they want more of mine? Well what were all of those workshops for? I deduced perhaps some of my listeners had debilitating problems so we provided what we could to help others out so they could help me. Working constructively together.

multi matrix game

multi matrix more

When silence is all a person gets one has to expect a wide array of utter confusion from the almost total lack of information. Not only do I not know what was enjoyed I don’t even know why people can’t simply TELL me why they can’t talk to me either. How was I not going to go insane from that much confusion? How? Turning to more intoxicants, liquor being one of them, in loneliness and confusion? Yes. In uncovering fandom politics and bizarre control tactics over a majority of romantic pairings in the fanwork? Of course! That’s going to drive someone mad. This is a television show, not re-writing the Talmud.

Keeping kinder hearts silent? What was the grand gesture in that? How was persistently giving Dr. Julia Hoffman her crush over and over again going to help anyone? It certainly never helped her. She’s a fictional character, a strong woman made weak by isolating our own desires in her, or those of Angelique. Forcing the issue and telling-off a major icon for which Dark Shadows would have been canceled if he hadn’t been introduced; Why was invalidating his hurts and longings good for any of us, or him or Julia?

We resist who Barnabas Collins loves for some sinister reason. We resist standing up for what we believe in beyond posting memes about it or like-clicking it for another sinister purpose. We’d rather listen to ourselves than someone else for some diabolical scheme. I’m not sure what it is. Shame? Programming? Shyness? Obliviousness? All of the above?

The standards of storytelling imply that it’s all about conflict. I’ve found that it isn’t. It’s about reaching a moral precept or several ethical values. In Episode 2 of The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows Wadworth explains to Barnabas something similar in himself about Willie Loomis.


WADWORTH: I understand that he may not have been the most superior underling in the course of matters, but have you considered that he was already rather abused to begin with?

BARNABAS: … a… a bit.

WADSWORTH: See anything similar in yourself there, sir?

BARNABAS: (regretfully) Oh… yes. I’m afraid I do.

WADSWORTH: Yes. So rather than concern yourself with him writing memoirs to betray you, don’t you think you might have put some credit in his way?


And in Episode 14 (still in production) what does Wadsworth express to Mr. Loomis about Barnabas Collins?


WADSWORTH: Well, if you ever wondered why he became so tragic, it might have been for the same reason that you did.


Is this ringing any bells with anyone? Is storytelling solely about conflict or something deeper? Is History all about war and suffering and politicians? On all counts, no. It’s about moral precepts, teaching us something. But what are our moral precepts of the day?

“That movie sucked so hard it could have whitened my carpet!”

Yep, a funny way of bashing something, or just outright bashing it entirely. This is the trap we are in right now. Dissing, bad-mouthing, deciding that our anal-retentive persnickety attitude passes for developed aesthetic taste. If we have something good to say it better be as rotten as we can make it.

But still we claim to be spiritual, trustworthy and downright good people. We hate bullies. We despise rudeness all the while being rude.

I have never been ruder in my entire life than since I came to know so many fans of Dark Shadows.

Collinsport

Was that because of the television program? No.

I was much nicer when I was watching it on my own and working on The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. I became rude when I got the silence, when I saw the bickering, when I saw the abuse-hungry control freaks. I watched the arguments and inaccurate statements of fans. I watched a woman be the worst thing she could ever be as she lashed out on people who enjoyed the 2012 film. Marina Sirtis commented that people were not accepting in the beginning of “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. I’ve been dying to tell her, “You think you had it bad? Check this shit out!”

What good is a fandom if the loud arrogant types silence the better behaved enjoyers of it?

What good are the teachings of spirituality if the followers don’t act on what was taught?

What good is The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows if no one is learning from the series but just downloading it like greedy schmucks?

What good is the internet, invented for communication, when we don’t use it to talk to each other?

What good are any of the stories we’re fed in books, movies, or television shows if we don’t learn from the examples they show?

They all basically say the exact same thing, “Do in life what you would regret not having done when you are facing death.”

tim to go

That’s my question. If Daryl Wor gets hit by a car tomorrow, what will you regret not having told her?

Ep. 14: Amplify, alter pitch, clip silence, breath and clicks… repeat…

A look of longing

It is often with deep sadness I muse over how celebratory we could be in this love but choose to reflect on where our own opinions rest in Dark Shadows. The bizarre snippets of ideas and what I’ve heard about in the fanwork brings me to wonder how adept its fans are in understanding the characters or understanding themselves. As one philosopher told me through long ago echoes from a stage I never saw, “I believe that if we are honest with ourselves, the most fascinating problem in the world is ‘Who Am I?’ What do you mean, what do you feel… when you say the word ‘I’? ‘I, myself’? I don’t think there can be any more fascinating preoccupation than that… because it’s so mysterious. It’s so elusive.”

Myself: A Case Of Mistaken Identity

As I spent time in cases of identity I not only explored myself but explored other people. When folks address a factor of not handing out all my personal details nor a “real name”… well. I’ve worn a plethora of names and identities since I was extremely young, just searching out what identity was, what could be done with it, and as such it makes sense as a creator of not only fanfiction but regular fiction from an early time. As I explored that, I found it easier to understand who other people were. Also, the name Daryl Wor was one of the very first ones I chose for myself with the help of The Muse. But what was the first one? “Shadow”. 😉

So now when I hear myself addressed as “Daryl” many of you have no idea how you’ve addressed me in who I truly am from a young age. I had writers block, anhedonia and frigidity for 8 years. Suddenly in this project I came back to who I was. People say Daryl and suddenly I am me again, I’m myself again. Beyond which I’ve changed my name various times so when you call me “Daryl”? There is no greater truth to me than that. Particularly because my voice and identity is so very androgynous. What better name to use than an androgynous one?


As for the work. Episode 13 is out now and I’m still hearing bits and fragments of invalidation that it’s audio, expensive, time consuming, acting, etc. I suppose the reason this is is partially due to having the side project of “Margaret Josette Dupres” which is only text. However, the audio is so much harder and so far I’ve been greatly left out in the cold from those who enjoy it. I have no stage, I have no frame of reference to my audiences responses. There is little fuel to continue, but continue I must. (And I also have haters and trolls which maximize this stress.)

On top of which the radio drama incorporates so many characters, all of whom I have to perform. For the last few days I’ve gone over repeated performances of lines from Wadsworth, Willie, Roger, Liz, Barnabas, Sam, Dr. Hoffman and Professor Stokes. It’s such an intense struggle to do this because there are parts I need to amplify for sound quality as well as deepen pitches for male voices, or picking out two or three performed lines, find the inflections between those and splicing them together. As like most entertainment, the story moves and the understanding of how difficult it was to put together likely doesn’t find you unless you’ve done such work yourself.

And as many of us know in Dark Shadows fanwork, text is mostly what it is. For some reason ones ears are interpreting this as the same thing because that is what one is used to. How I can alter anyone’s understanding of the difference? I don’t know.

thoughtful willie loomis

What I do know is as I have worked repeatedly with Willie’s performances. What he and Barnabas face together in my next episode brings me to tears again and again as I go over the audio work. It’s that profound to me. The man is falling to pieces and so am I. He doesn’t understand how everything changed. As we remember from Dark Shadows and his return from Wyndcliff? He wasn’t unaware of what had happened. He was covering up what he knew to hopefully return in all innocence and wield a shotgun at Joe Haskell getting in his way of Maggie Evans, as well as the crap with Adam that I skipped in my series.

So what kind of Willie Loomis do we have now? One that is forced to recognized not only his past in Collinsport but his past from somewhere else:

Clue-MovieShot40

Mr. Loomis is so shocked to see someone from even longer ago, 1954 to be exact, he ain’t gonna play naive! (I’m discerning he was about 14 years old when Wadsworth hired him but I’m leaving it open-ended until more research and discussion can be obtained.) Dear God! It’s that guy who hired me to chop wood for the fireplaces, hide outside and keep my mouth shut about everything? I have no way of covering up what I know at this point. I am in far too much disbelief! And now he’s telling me everything at Collinwood isn’t how I remembered it anymore? This butler? I can never fathom how he knows as much as he does about people, but all I do know is: he damn well does. I better watch out, is all.

So the complexity of this project continues regardless of how “sleeper” it’s function might be. Remember, if you will, how the film Clue itself was so entertaining it likely went over the heads of most in North America. Such seems to be the case with The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. How I can speed up the process of discussion about the jokes with people? I don’t know. I keep trying out the people who enjoy that movie and now the people who enjoy Elvira, Mistress of The Dark. Somewhere in this crazy train of spooky love have got to be some people who remember how to speak out and say what the hell they’re laughing at or enjoying.

As for what I’ve seen in the Dark Shadows crowd? It’s mostly the spiteful who reign vocally supreme. But many creators of all of these shows, fanwork in some cases, and otherwise, keep hoping for the best.

Still, if you keep hoping for the best from someone else? Well, it’s like the philosopher asks as stated earlier in this article,

“Who am I?”


All I have to ask is, “Why not you?”

Peace, clarity, and reflection,

Daryl

barely tardis

tardis_door_sign__edited__by_tibots-d1gi3xo