Again, “Explicit” while being fairly clean for all that! This entry is the second podcast about the marriage novel, and exploring the chapters of it; six through ten.
I address one pointer of how to encourage me to share more of the novel so far. No high hopes on that score, of course.
This audio session goes through, step-by step, discussing what occurs in each chapter, my personal struggles and triumphs through this journey as well as the wonderful discussion that arrived from wonderful friends and kind strangers.
Chapters discussed are as follows:
Chapter Six – “A Broken Bed” (including the hilarious consequences…)
Chapter Seven – “Other Reactions” (Characters outside the marriage making the best of it.)
Chapter Eight – “The Whom of Many” (Yes, tons and tons of discussion from all sides about the author’s notes in the details of the big non-canon pairing of Julia/Barnabas.)
Chapter Nine – All of Us
Chapter Ten – Prior Disturbances Come To Haunt
Background music (which I would love to know that you purchased) for this podcast is:
Stoa’s “Maare” & “Hanuz Nitz” + Madonna’s “Human Nature”. (Although if you haven’t purchased a copy of “Human Nature” by now? I shall wonder what rock you were living under that was even farther sequestered into the ground than mine.)
Listeners expecting to hear me swear will be disappointed. This entry is the long-awaited first podcast about the marriage novel, and exploring the chapters of it; one through five.
This audio session goes through, step-by step, discussing what occurs in each chapter, my personal struggles and triumphs through this journey as well as the wonderful discussion that arrived from wonderful friends and kind strangers who granted me a way to stop panicking from lack of talk and finally allowed me to begin sleeping again which had been a problem at the end of 2013 into the beginning of 2014.
Chapters discussed are as follows:
Chapter One – The Wedding Day
Chapter Two – The Wedding Night
Chapter Three – What We Whispered
Chapter Four – Josette Speaks
Chapter Five – Sharing The Past, The Present, And The Future
Background music (which I would love to know that you purchased) for this podcast is:
First off I need to vent my spleen about something that is making this whole universe ill:
I am sick to death of this phenomenon. I can’t get any chat about almost anything out of anyone because the first thing that comes up is how much one form of whatever is hated. Why? What is the point?
Is it because we’ve crossed so many boundaries already and the final thing left to hate-on is entertainment?
Is it because these social networks have engendered the entire population back into a school playground where every individual feels the need to vocalize louder than the rest?
Is there some inherent need to put on some swagger to feel superior to each other?
Has the Information Age made information itself so convenient that no one wants to bother learning a damn thing anymore?
All of the above?
All I know is I can’t get a dialogue going about The Addams Family with almost anyone because something always comes up to interrupt it; Some version of The Addams Family that was disapproved of. There is barely any practice in conversation that doesn’t adhere to despising some little piece of it to death.
This doesn’t help get any new work done. There appears to be no knowledgeable fan with conversation skills within easy reach of me. It’s the same damn problem as it’s been with lovers of the Dark Shadows romantic pairings I’ve put together all over again: Nothing but photos and little friggin’ happy stickers…
What I understand of The Addams Family is it was begun as a scene of panels by Charles Addams. Addams’ first drawing, a sketch of a window washer, ran in The New Yorker on February 6, 1932, and his cartoons ran regularly in the magazine from 1938, when he drew the first in the series that came to be called The Addams Family, until his death. He was a freelancer throughout that time.
The Addams Family television series began after David Levy, a television producer, approached Addams with an offer to create it with a little help from the humorist. All Addams had to do was give his characters names and more characteristics for the actors to use in portrayals. The series ran on ABC for two seasons, from 1964 to 1966.
Those old drawings were more macabre than the 1960’s television show of The Addams Family I am currently watching and taking notes on. There was more comic hilarity in the television show and very likely because of what that television audience in those years were allowed to view. A sign of the times.
Later on, the films of The Addams Family in the 1990’s incorporated this darker infusion of The Addams Family, and even began with a direct take from the comic of old, pouring boiling oil on a party of Christmas carolers. These films were not my introduction to The Addams Family but they were the strong pull I had as new releases in my teens when I was already attracted to the spooky and bizarre as a whole.
For that am I supposed to suffer? Am I supposed to have to wallow in a cave for what I saw due to my age and environment? Do I continue to have to avoid this topic because anyone who enjoys those films, which are over twenty years old by now, are also going to be yelled at for enjoying them rather than the television show which was inspired by a series of one panel comics in The New Yorker of the 1930’s?
Perhaps no one is left who might have preferred the New Yorker panel comics to the damn 1960’s television show! (If you are, I’m ready to hear your complaints! And only yours!)
I’ve yet to hear any troubles with what came after the 1990’s Addams Family films due to their success, which is “The Addams Family: The Animated Series” (1992–1993), without which I may not have had the pleasure of Automne Archer’s company and help! She watched those cartoons, then the films, THEN the television show of the 1960’s in that order. Did I ever harp on her about that?
Because I am NOT interested in what is hated, I’m interested in what is loved. And what you love about it!
What purpose does any of this holier-than-thou posturing serve? Just seems like a bunch of apes beating their chests to show off. I will admit I did quite a bit of that from my junior-high school to college years. And you know what I did after that?
I moved on!
I distinctly looked at the wealth of books, movies, audio shows and anything else that I liked in particular and I stuck to those. I became very aware that I had a ton of choices to pick from. So? I picked what I wanted to pick!
And what happened after that? I became very open to what other people were choosing for themselves, not because I wanted to imbibe what they were enjoying but because I liked listening to what they had good to say about it. I turn down offers to watch or read things. I’m more interested in what that friend or individual got out of what they enjoyed.
Unfortunately, nowadays it’s a massive secret where the heck people are hiding out to dare discuss what they enjoy. The internet has become a battleground of hate and constant dismissal. Anything those pesky advertisers can do to grab your attention at some scandal or idiotic griping over nothing. It’s all programming, you know. It’s all just to soak your attention and get you to purchase more that you don’t need. And the upshot is always reverting back to that sense of irritation with something that has an off-switch within easy reach.
Hence? This log entry. I implore any lovers of The Addams Family to reach me and discuss any and all facets that you love about it. Maybe you’re rusty, yes, but I’m fed up with the hate. The Addams Family is not about that. They symbolize the most diverse and loving aspects in each of us, and they do it in a spooky way, which I love. Whatever Addams Family you like most? I want to hear all about it! I don’t want stickers, I don’t want bravos.
I’m still here. I’m rusty at creating a radio drama episode but, like with any form of creative expression, the knack should return with practice.
I maintained Facebook abstinence for the full two-week stretch from the new pen pals and people I’m mailing CDs to. I love it! This is what I wanted and it’s the world that I know. My postman is also very happy with me. He says, “You tell them that I’m happy with what you’re doing and I look forward to getting a hug from you when I see you. You tell them that.”
There. Told. 🙂
The repeating cold/flu is still floating around. Clover and I got Version 2.0, Jonah didn’t, and my sweetheart is now on Version 3.0. I received tons of wonderful goodies for my birthday but I have to wait to have him to myself again.
So for my pen pals now getting the CDs of The Pit? Bless your hearts that you didn’t let the dead-weight of social media keep you from what you loved. And it’s fascinating to find out what you’ve been up to in the years we didn’t know each other as I struggled in the vicious Red Queen’s Race of anti-social networks. You also know it takes time to build something, so my own accomplishments might seem fantastic but not impossible to you.
And with my downgrading back to human? Other humans are doing it too. I hear from people more by email and private messages away from the social networks. Sadly some of these folks are still playing the “avoid-the-podcast-topic-game”, but not everyone. Some finally realized playing that game is dysfunctional and annoys me enough to get cranky on the podcasts! Good! I’d rather have fun on those shows, not feel the need to display rank bitterness. (Spraying metaphoric Lysol on my woes ends up making them worse. It messes up the voice-acting for the radio-drama too, just from the stress.)
In any case I’m very pleased to be spending my time getting rid of my horde of stationery. Like most forms of collecting things, too much comes when life is empty or there is a void one feels the need to fill. Now I’m releasing all the fun goodies I saved, and as I send them along? I keep finding new areas in which I’ve hoarded more! But it makes way for further space as I go. This is a good thing.
The pen pals who are interested are eager for more but in the manner they know better: The human paced postal system. However there are some trying to get links to work in a somewhat desperate sense. I always know when they do get the links to work because I tend to never hear from them again. I see the statistical growth, but the silence is a recurring problem and one I doubt I’ll ever really get used to.
Is a Jonathan Frid character hanging out with a Tim Curry character just too sexy? Maybe!
With the lack of information I used to have, but now am being provided with, I’m discovering an important point we all forgot about. The poor and suffering are the most appreciative of good entertainment. They were often the people I was seeking, too. Still am. It’s the especially wealthy and comfortable that have been the worst problem. They’re watching a soap-opera because, for the most part, they have few troubles, desire drama and don’t empathise much with people outside of themselves. They can download the podcast easily and get angry at me for struggling and suffering. They’re greedy and want the silver-spoon version of The Pit. Catering to people like that is detrimental. Rewarding rudeness is nothing short of despicable.
Not all rich people are this way, though. There have been many well-to-do types of privilege. I am currently thinking of a fictional one though, and one fictional character many proclaim as empty-headed and bubbly:
Josette du Pres
She is a rare wealthy character on Dark Shadows who cares about classes below hers. Her concern and desire for comradeship with Angelique is unusual for someone of her own designation in 1795. We see something quite similar with that of Barnabas Collins and Ben Stokes, too. And when we think about Barnabas and Josette both being as such? That is certainly a match made in Heaven. ❤
We require wealthy people that empathise with those who suffer to make the difference, as we also need the suffering to appreciate each other. To me that’s what our stories show us.
Social media turned that story-telling, which changed our lives for the better, into mindless nostalgia of photos to thumb-up. It preys on the obsessive-compulsive-disorder which resounds in us to click happy-buttons and lose the heart of who we are. The happy-buttons, rewards of hearts and stars, regress us into kindergarteners. Kindergartners are easy to manipulate.
I didn’t know this was happening for so long because I had barely touched the social media. I was very involved in vision-therapy, librivox audio books, and creating The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows while watching and taking notes of all the shows that blend into it. I knew something of the smartphone phenomenon but we all joked about that long ago. The Blackberry phone came out with its whistles and bells and what did we call it?
A lady at church told me it was once a faux-pas to like-click posts on Facebook. She also recalls a friend asking her, “What’s with all these bumper stickers? I’m seeing them everywhere. All these images with quotations. What a waste!”
As it turns out there are others like me who didn’t see this happening either. We still used the internet to educate ourselves and keep in touch with loved ones. We had to hear less and less from those loved ones to begin recognizing we’d suddenly been left in the lurch. That led to many walks of life without similar interests reaching out to at least support each other in that one obvious fact. We were alone, very alone. A guy on a Gothic forum told me, “Some of the most artistic and rebellious people I have ever known have been siphoned by this conformity.” No kidding! I’ve seen it too.
In any event, those of similar interests are finding each other again, however slowly and I am very grateful. Several pen pals don’t fear discussing The Pit episodes. They enjoy it. They didn’t know it even existed. Now they look forward to more and express:
“Please keep up with this – you will be glad you followed your muse when she called you. But please don’t burn out on it—it would change the tone. You have such a happy enjoyable tone of joy with it. Yeah, that’s it—it’s JOYFUL! Ride this mule, baby!”
Now that’s more like it! And it’s what I like to do for others.
So for all the newbies:
I bid you welcome to The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows!
And for the old-hats? I welcomed you a long time ago, and I still do. But we must keep something in mind. We have flaws. That is human. You’ve felt guilty and uncertain because you fed into the bystander-effect, got caught up in only paying attention to the drama, lost the ability to talk about what you enjoyed. Is this all your fault? I don’t think so. But you still feel guilty and uncertain about me and the fact you played the “avoid-the-podcast-topic-game”. You really should stop playing that game. It’s not a fun game and no one wins it. (I prefer Kill Doctor Lucky and Tabloid Teasers, myself.)
But… what if you admitted to your flaws? What if you felt sorry and explained? In what light would you be seen if you owned up to a mistake or even several? Who would you be very akin to if you exhibited some remorse or apologetic forms of expression?
That would show you to be similar to one of our most beloved characters in the world:
However, scroll down this blog for the latest interview with Osheen Nevoy if you want the new podcast. Very good and worth time for Dark Shadows fans.
Right now I’m going over the four performances I’ve done in the last two years for Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce. Splicing them together has been grueling and continues to be, just to try and get a single scene as close to the best I can get.
Going forward in this scary life, that I have often related to be a “Science-Fiction Nightmare Made Real” as Jonah and others agree with me, the friends have finally come. And, like my adopted children, I love every single one of you and I have no desire to ever give any of you up.
Each one of you managed to approach me or reciprocate my approach to you individually. If I can manage more than the amount of characters I adore who are in this collage, I believe my heart is just as full to encompass my feelings for you.
Human beings rely on each other. Human babies, in all of their helplessness, undoubtedly prove that. (It’s one of the many, many, many reasons my husband and I decided, responsibly, never to procreate. We don’t drive. How are we going to take care of our children if we aren’t capable of driving?)
I want to assure all of my new friends that I care about you deeply beyond this project. When I listen to my thank you to Lisa in my latest podcast it drives home the point of exactly why I did all of this: I had no one to share it with. The answer? Go online. Unfortunately, by this time, going online meant becoming a narcissist. HUH? I ADORE these characters and knew with their varied communities they could help each other. I wanted to celebrate the characters, not me.
I worked hard to get all the correct and expensive equipment that I felt most people were also obtaining. Whoops. No, they were downgrading themselves to going online with only a smartphone or an iPad and that was that. I had no idea. So in my Intro To Episode 12 ? I wondered, as Ripley wondered in the film Aliens:
Sadly, the answer is… yes. Yes they did. And these people did it of their own volition. They allowed themselves to believe it was “every man for himself” and the internet was just a place to get porn or some other low-level entertainment, or to come to the internet to feel they finally had a say in how upset they were about their own lives by getting familiar with strangers and attacking them.
Is this the kind of thing most of us want to deal with when we fire up our machines and go online? I doubt it.
Long ago I was in a creative home movie. The camera faded out of black and there we all were eating dinner. My uncle turned to the camera and said:
“Oh, hi. You know, it’s nice when the family gets together on Sunday for dinner… and… enjoys their company with each other. And in this country? It’s one of the many rights that we have…”
Good so far, then he turns to my mum and says, “Oh, by the way, mother, will you pass me the gun?”
She nods, passes him the prop-gun, that just happens to be laying on our dinner table, and he says, “Thank you.”
Next my uncle looks down on it and turns to the camera, saying, “But you know? There is another right we enjoy in this country: It’s called THE RIGHT TO PRIVACY! And I don’t know why you’re coming into my home– I don’t even KNOW YOU! It really pisses me off, man!”
Then he pulls the trigger of the prop-gun and shoots the camera.
It was funny at the time, but I think I am finding a whole new meaning in that skit we did when I was less than ten years old. 😉 We got hoodwinked into believing we had to post it all online.
No. We don’t.
That’s why I am letting you know now that what many of you have been doing by emailing each other, calling each other on the telephone and writing paper letters to each other is time much better spent. The block function on a lot of websites is very important. It means you refuse to deal with someone you would rather not hear about for whatever reason. You have preferred ways of spending your time. I have even encouraged people who dislike me and what I am doing to block me. I don’t want to deal with them. If they don’t want to see what I’m doing? Great! I said in the beginning and I still say, “25 people are all I was looking for.”
Community is what I want, what my series is about, and what I feel many of you want. We’re getting close. Don’t let complaining people deter you from your goals. Also: never believe that if you hear about me discussing another beloved friend that you don’t matter. You DO matter. I talk about you with them, too! Why? Because I care about all of you. It’s the natural course of discussion. You don’t sit there worshiping the friend you’re speaking with. You shoot the breeze, and the breeze happens to encompass all the other friends you have; Easy peasy.
Facebook was originally created for college students to: 1) shoot the breeze together and 2) help each other study. I have severe doubts it will ever be remotely close to that kind of human expression ever again. This is why new versions of it don’t work either. However, it’s still usable for little things, all the while the previous forms of communication are still extremely important: letter writing, phone calls, emails, text messages, as long as it’s all personal and personable. The nightmare can be over, it can be, but not for everyone, only to those of us who stick to our guns and make sure we mainly pay attention to what is important to us. I am part of that importance but I recognize I’m not the main importance.
The loss is upon us. I was on the phone with Jonah again last night and he agreed that he’s suffered friendship losses, and that the creative source is what he needs to focus on and our understanding of maintaining that focus is the most important consideration. The new “flood” has come, many have drowned, they may never come back, but we have each other. Perhaps this was all a Providential test to see which of us is, internally, the strongest. I let him know I had this same discussion with a cashier the last time my husband and I went music shopping. The cashier also confessed to major friendship loss via social networks. The cycle is never ending in this discussion.
As for me? I want to keep going. I’ve got the next scene of Episode 16 with Hawkeye to complete, come Hell or High-water. When I get past that I’m hoping all the editing runs for more scenes go much faster and more smoothly than this one has for years.
I was often so lost in the confusion of why no one was speaking with me until Melissa came along and posted her commentary to the first episode in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows.
I reached out and asked Melissa, “How did you do that?”
She said, casually, “There was a comment box. I expressed what I enjoyed, naturally.”
And that’s when I knew I had every right to be completely baffled by the behaviour of discussion-avoidance all of these years. Melissa did the discussion automatically and expressed, “It’s natural.” I always knew it was, it always was to me about entertainment, but I was argued with about that for three years. (Might you have been one of the many people arguing with me about that? I’ve told you to stop feeling guilty about it. Do I have to tell you again?)
Is the Nightmare over yet? Only if we allow ourselves to withdraw from it. Other forms of communication are not only possible, they’ve been with us much longer. Paper letters, email, phone calls. Social networks are secondary. Maybe a lot of great things happened due to them, but when one starts relying on them solely? You’re lost.
I’ve always looked at podcasting the same as broadcasting except with a Tivo function: you can rewind and replay it whenever you like. Once upon a time it was only magnetic strips in cassette cartridges we recorded that allowed that. It’s not that way anymore.
So what is there to choose? Really communicating on a one-to-one basis, or scrolling through a newsfeed and like-clicking your life away?
Chapter 40 of “Margaret Josette Dupres (A Novel)”. Little Sarah, just over two years old, is growing and her parents do their best to take care of her in all the love they can provide. However, Sarah is about to re-live a time in her previous life (during 1795) that is very emotional, as her acting it out will be for Barnabas & Maggie. Please hit the link above if you would like to read it.
As 2005 crept out of existence, I worked on my book, and some disturbing things happened that prevented the electricity in my room from working if I turned on my computer. I had just started a new therapy job in order to try and understand anything about humanity I might have been missing for my writing.
As it turned out this job taught me many things about my life that were ineffably wrong with it. And unfortunately, I couldn’t continue the work on my book. It had diabolically been taken from me. I tried to make due, but a sadness crept into my life and I discovered a type of depression I don’t see expressed very often: Anhedonia. Anhedonia encompasses a troubling problem that can express certain emotions but not actually feel them. So in order to make due I went the Roger and Naomi Collins route and drank… very heavily. It was the only way to cope. Black Velvet Whiskey bottles stayed in my closet and went into recycling at regular intervals, and what with the awful Jason McGuire style parent I was living with, sometimes this drinking was needed just to stay warm in the winter, as much of the heat was turned off for billing purposes.
I had to find a way out. Meanwhile I kept watching Dark Shadows, and couldn’t figure out why this Barnabas bastard was so loved. He was doing terrible things, but I maintained in my mind the coffee shop sequence between him and Maggie Evans that was one of the sweetest parts I’d ever witnessed. (And also mentioned in Kathryn Leigh Scott’s writings.) A nice quiet moment away from so much of the troubles.
“Why didn’t he just ask her?” I kept questioning. Why didn’t he explain what he was feeling? Why not just tell her, “Maybe, it’s you…”? And, as my logical mind kept reeling at me:
“BECAUSE IT’S A SOAP OPERA, YOU FOOL!”
And as my Anhedonia got worse and the drinking madness ensued, I eventually found my way into a better life, though it took over a year, and felt like five. I looked for housing on Craigslist, where I’d found my job, and discovered a place that no one likely would look for due to the expense. And I found it, and I live there now. It was different, it was what we needed. And though this Anhedonia has ruined my enjoyment of life I was hoping someday things would improve.
After the year had elapsed that my significant other wanted before we might marry, I took hold of this possible happiness and created the means to make it occur. Because of my Anhedonia, I barely enjoyed my wedding day at all. I can vicariously enjoy it through memory, now that I have the emotions back to achieve it. And…
We kept watching Dark Shadows…
I had switched to brandy as my means of support, since Dr. Watson always seemed to call for it on the 1980’s Thames version of “Sherlock Holmes”. As it turns out any alcohol made from a fruit has better effects on me than any made from a grain, so I’ve held on to that knowledge in this life. Eventually I learned to deviate from hard liquor, to Jaegermeister, then to port and finally to wine and cider. When we had enough friends we devised a party plan on a monthly basis called “Ghost Story Night” in which everyone invited would try and tell a ghost story as the lights were dim, candles burned, and we all chuckled riotously. Of course this didn’t last, but it was sometimes very beautiful while it did. Art Bell’s Halloween version of Coast To Coast, “Ghost To Ghost” made this much more interesting.
The “Ghost Story Night” fizzled as friends moved away and relationships soured, so our social life dwindled.
As we kept watching Dark Shadows, I kept taking notes in a possible effort solve all their problems and an old idea I had as a wee one came to me. What if, since all these story lines are lifted from old gothic stories, we could introduce new gothic characters into the mix, with all their lightheartedness? It would make sense, right? Especially since there were so many spooky shows in the 1960’s later on in the evening that had kind hearts and easier problems to solve.
I loved the film “Clue” dearly and wanted to see Wadsworth, the butler (not in the original board game) make a comeback and be a good guy, and I didn’t believe that whole “This is what REALLY happened” ending. In the theatrical release the different endings were viewed in different theaters, so only on the video release of “Clue” was Wadsworth placed as the “bad guy”.
No, I said, he’s not bad. All he said about blackmail and trying to help everyone was likely true. And “Clue” happened in 1954, so reaching him to 1968/1969 won’t be too much of a stretch. As the Clue script expresses, “He is a butler. He is dressed like a butler. He has the manner of a butler. Even when he opens the gates all alone he does so with the demeanour of a butler. His name is WADSWORTH.” Yes, this is the man for our ever stolid and woeful vampire.
By the end of 2011 I had the beginning of the series, but not sure where to put it. Still, I kept on writing. I added Slimer and the parapsychologists from Poltergeist, who I wanted to see again. I found fanfiction.net and finally figured out how to post things, but didn’t know much about the site or how to use it or what the etiquette issues might be, try as I might to find them. I worried that changing anything, including the summary would alter the date posting of when I started. So I left them alone.
Then the Dark Shadows movie came out, and as much as I knew it was happening and was excited at what we might see, after the fact I viewed much hostility from both pro and con fans. Many complained about all the fish-out-of-water scenarios and I thought to myself, “WHAT? I could have taken MORE of those!” It always irritated me how quickly Barnabas adapted to 1967 from the vantage point of 1795. There OUGHT to have been more.
But what I really hated, in the original program was. however many times Josette fell off of Widows Hill, Barnabas would pull back with this “Oh dear” stupidity. “You’re a VAMPIRE, you jack-ass, and you love her! JUMP!” I’d scream.
And in the film… what happened? Did he jump? YES! He jumped… TWICE!
Something in this fandom was finally changing. Though online you could hardly guess. The hostility in this First World problem sought brutality with any disagreement. So? I signed into the forum on the website: “Willie Loomis Saves Collinsport” and at LAST I got some decent people to discuss it with who knew their onions.
They discussed it civilly and knowledgeably. But then, of course, online changes made my discussion in this forum impossible so I couldn’t re-join for their help. “I suppose I’m on my own now,” I reasoned.
I kept taking notes while watching and worked on my series. I’d written 3 episodes and then watched another spooky show with a very sweet heart and understood who I could use to alter the death of Sam Evans and why. (The Ghost & Mrs. Muir.)
In 2013 the story grew, and grew with an ignited passion. Everything WAS changing along the story-line. It was what I’d meant to do. Still, I got no reviews but I was more worried about making those changes. However, my social world kept dwindling to a bare fizzle and the balance in my life began sucking this project into the only purpose I had left. My pen pal encouraged me to stay strong. I got one reviewer and I went from writing an episode a month to writing four in the month of October.
Then I got the hang of the traffic graph and did a double take… Wait… THIS many people have been reading my story for months and MONTHS? And they didn’t speak UP? Umm… something is REALLY wrong here. So I began looking over what other people were doing. There was dialogue in the reviews, but for some reason not with my story, which I can’t boast but simply observe is DAMN funny and GOOD work. What the hell was going on with these people? And I knew it couldn’t be some Ugly American problem as it was across the globe, too. What the hell? They could have been helping me feed this thing? But what the heck? They didn’t share their laughter as I saw in so many other humourous stories on that site? What’s with THIS B.S.?
Soon enough I worked out the Willie Loomis issue in episode 13 I’d been waiting on because I was discovering that He and I, along with many other characters, shared too much in common. In my lack of sleep, the Muse gave me the solution that Willie and Wadsworth knew each other already, considering Willie’s empty past. At five in the morning this Muse forced me from trying to sleep more and made me write their first scene together. Along with a lot of other problems I was solving, I was very pleased with how it turned out.
Then I got to episode 14, thinking, okay, I’ve worked out that Willie problem, I’ve tried very hard to get his character down. I’ve even filled in the plot-hole about the bullet wounds no one else has done that I saw. And the cane scene about it was scary to come to terms with and write. Now? I have to hear SOMETHING from these takers.
No… I didn’t.
I waited a week. Nothing. I waited longer. Still nothing.
No… I thought, passionately… I love Willie Loomis now… I’ve made him at least understand what was happening in Collinsport. I struggled with him so hard, and all you empty dots on the traffic graph want is to see him crazy, and hurt and injured and suffering… No… I said to myself. I don’t understand what’s going on in the world now. I went to the market and saw so many people zombie-like buying their groceries in an uncaring, busy way.
What can I do to keep this man I fell in love with? What can I do to keep my dates and stats at fanfiction.net? The proof I’d been there and tried so hard to make all these people better? So I replaced my story with chunks of it and explained why I was doing it. Ever since that time there was no response, except from Helena Clara Bouchet who does way too much reviewing and helps almost everyone and has enough on her own plate to even bother with that. No, this is not fair.
It IS better than what I saw happen there between 2004-2007, but still it’s not right. As my pen pals have said, no, this IS wrong.
So, I did the deed, turned on the song I gave Willie Loomis at the end of my 14th episode (“Sunshine Superman” by Donovan) and was liberated. And that morning… in all my visualizing skill… that man… and I… danced! ^_^