Things I’m Grateful For…

snake pit we never close

Yes, this is a bored and waiting Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce wondering when his damn turn is coming up. I channeled him a little too early for a while, and as a result I began smelling each bite of my food. It was a bit disturbing.

Funny portion I found when I made a tired post on facebook, I was looking through what photo to use to show that and then I found this:

Dear dad who the hell is Julia Hoffman

It cracked me and a few people up because I’d labeled it: “Dear Dad, Who the hell is Julia Hoffman?”

Man, I had no idea what I was getting into when I started all this via crappy equipment back in 2011. As for me it’s seems my whole life has been built to do all of this. I wanted a good education but mainly what I got was pop culture entertainment. Trying to get a good education resulted in learning how whacked-out humans can truly be. They say one thing and then go around doing the opposite. That’s why I like when someone puts up news of good deeds, even when it comes from non-human beings. Then all the comedy and humour I’ve imbibed, as well as the techniques for improving memory. Historical research from both curiousity and from trying to get my original material accurate. Money has always been a major problem, but when I got a little? I stopped buying cheap trinkets and got a ton of dictionaries, lexicons, thesaurus’, synonym/antonym books, and just studied on my own. Could barely afford college so I didn’t attend enough there.

Then someone suggested Vladimir Nabokov. Whoah! This man can WRITE! And English wasn’t his first language? Well this guy is speaking MY language! Wow! I was starting with Transparent Things, if memory serves, and he began a discourse on how when one focuses on a material object the history of that object links in. “Transparent things, through which the past shines!” Yes! Like James Burke’s series, “Connections”! Associative memory! Exactly.

And associative memory is how comedy works. How did Robin Williams accomplish such speed? One thing led to another, and then another and another. He kept going. And this is likely why improvisation was one of his favourite activities. The exploration of the human mind, where might this story go if I become a character or set of characters and let them take over? And as many of us know, it goes far!

Many a character had been taken into my psyche and in depth, as well as original characters I formulated, both to discover them and to discover my own identity. Then I come into Dark Shadows. Wow! These people gots problems! But why? What’s so bad about spooky? Oh! Okay, they aren’t getting the nice spooky. Hmm, what about all those other shows in the 1960s that did get the nice spooky?

Blending them together as accurately as possible? This is why The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is so damn funny. Put all those fun spooks together with spooky people who are hurting? It’s HEALING TIME! Woo-woo! And then… are they meeting for the first time? No. Doing the research and I find, these people could essentially know each other already. Pasts are left open on many shows to allow that flexibility.

As in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

SPOCK: It’s true. I do not have a brother… I have a half-brother.


Sybok, Jedi Santa Claus of Vulcan

Come on, THAT must have made ya laugh!

Anyway, as we look over the wild list of characters in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, we find these characters being re-acquainted:

Wadsworth and Willie Loomis

Sophia Petrillo and Mrs. Johnson

Elizabeth Stoddard and Lily Munster

Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce and Dr. Julia Hoffman

Sam Evans/Andre Dupres and Captain Daniel Gregg

As for Endora and Angelique? Of course they know each other!

Then the poor residents of Collinsport have been hooked into being stressed-out so long they’re almost addicted to it. These old acquaintances help them to remember things they’d forgotten, one of those things being how to laugh and enjoy life. (Sound like any DS fans out there?) And again, becoming a comedienne, as  I was hoisted into the massive gaggle of Dark Shadows fans with something different and all the baggage so many have been carting around for so long, using humour is likely how one could get poor Barnabas and Josette to each other in the 1960s.


Tragedy never seemed to work.

So the list of things to be grateful for:

  • An accidentally healed marriage! (HELL YEAH!)
  • Some bare knowledge that people have been laughing their heads off at my audio work.
  • A re-kindled love for The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.
  • New material from Sir Simon Milligan & Manservant Hecubus. (They deserved a new job together. 🙂 )
  • Finding people who love Thayer David.
  • Seeing Sharon Lentz’s new kitten. (DAMN, that lil’ one is cute!)
  • Finding people who actually love Barnabas Collins and see the depth of his character.
  • Devoted people who don’t believe the hype.
  • New friends who tell you their news and don’t just post memes.
  • Reaching Dark Shadows fans who don’t touch DS fan pages because they know better.
  • Bringing forth new creativity in those who have shown me kindness.
  • Pen pals who still care after all of this time wanting other news. (They now understand there really is no other news.)
  • Long talks on skype with new buddies who have the same passions.
  • Winning “Dark Shadows Memories” from an Angelique/Barnabas fan who likes Monty Python and is awesome.
  • Getting in touch with the Goth crowds again. Damn it, I’m HOME!

But the best thing of all? Many fans of Josette/Barnabas or Maggie/Barnabas, as well as those who puzzled out the reincarnation for so long. They all thought they were alone. Now? They’re meeting and sharing that love for them together. They love the marriage novel. They love seeing the two happy at last. They even love seeing the parallel between Barnabas/Josette & Gomez/Morticia. You know it’s there just from the reciprocation and how strong it is, as well as how spooky.


As well as other folks who said, “Well, yeah, Barnabas/Josette was a big duh to me, too.”

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows reaches people who normally “avoid anything smelling even remotely like fan fiction”. It’s read to them, it mixes up the things they like, it gives them the characters in recognizable patterns as well as having them let their hair down. It incorporates other shows and movies they love. (Really, who didn’t want more Wadsworth?)  It questions who we are which is a Western Civilization staple that has been extremely neglected for the last decade. And unlike certain other pairings preferences we show our virtue by saying to others, “Don’t like it? There’s plenty of what you want elsewhere. Go and have it.” But what do they do? They troll. They expound insecurities. They have fits. It almost gives one a warm glow.

I got my last troll review about a fortnight to a month ago. I threw back my head and laughed. It was honestly, truly hilarious.

So in all of these things, we have to thank someone for making the internet better, even when we’re ticked-off at malfunctions and mechanical flaws. Someone was trying to bring us all together. Now the problem is getting us to chat more about what we like, solving problems, and bringing some kind of halt to so much clutter. I’d be very grateful for that.

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows Radio Drama & Podcast


I feel like an altered suit…

As I look down at my arm, now free of bandage and tape, I wonder where the stitches are… Hmm… there doesn’t appear to be any… Hmm… Oh… oh dear… is this what my Mum told me about? Did they actually use Super Glue? AHHHHH!!!

Well, one more week before I dare to ask that question. I’m not sure I do dare. Plus it’s one of THOSE weeks, ladies. Which means I have to keep reminding myself of what I post and where and if I do will I have to delete it because I’ll be embarrassed that I might have spilled too many beans out of the package?

I can’t believe how long this episode is taking, well… I mean I do believe it because I’ve had to alter so much to get the reincarnations accurate in what happened to this 3-in-1 girl. I’m glad when I finally let loose the man I’d added from vexation of having to do so much more than I thought, I came up with what he looked like, posted it around and my pen-pal, as behind this project as she has been from the start, saw Mr. Bachmeier and her head dropped on the desk. Ha-ha! I love that. 

hansel bachmeier

“Yes,” I said, “Josette Dupres was rather hot as a man, wasn’t she?” 

Thankfully, for him, he’s an add-on, which means if I want to develop him more I can stay within the bounds of vagueness and just reach into 1914-1918 historical reference. He was a smart guy, and a little evil, but he didn’t live that long. 

Man, but I can hear in my intros how, not only the silence had been shattering me, but also then flying into a wild MEGA-LOAD of Dark Shadows fans on facebook. And at that point NONE would discuss my work with me after the big broo-ha one fan managed to create. I hope I can get to better intros and maybe delete a few of the extra pod-casts for space when the time comes. Man, was *I* shaky! (tumblr didn’t exactly improve this either. Yeulch!)

But, MY GOD… I have had to deal with more negativity from people who are sooooo up in arms about how much they know and how involved their ego becomes with that supposed knowledge. I have dealt with an entire life of people thinking they know all about something, and then as soon as you show them the evidence that they are wrong they fly into a rage! Jeeeez! Hold the phone a minute, people. Take a breath and do a little research. 

“No! Then that might show I’m WRONG! AH!”

Um, okay, so you’re wrong about something. If you can’t live with a mistake than you’re talking to the wrong artist. I’ve had to live with a ton of my own mistakes, many in the last year because people were NOT communicating. Little did I realize that the internet had spent a decade depleting their ability TO communicate. 

CRAP! I just wanted to help Collinsport and all the people there! Now it feels like I have to save all these real people from turning into complete morons because the 21st Century began its incursion by melting their brains away from being able to build any relationship online! *sigh* I wonder if it’ll take me ten years to undo what The Powers That Be did to these people in the last decade. 

Well, I hope I can teach them and get my own needs met in the process. Seems a fair exchange.

And all I ask of everyone is not to “Be yourself”… No… ASK yourself, “Who am I? What in my life made me who I am today? And is there anything about that I want changed? Who do I want to be?”

That’s all. ^_^