Pit Update: May 2017 & Retrospective

2017 May Update 1f

Thanking pen pals for helping me to heal, explaining why that is important and discussing how the happy buttons ruined upbeat discourse in people over the years.

Plenty of lively assertions in why beating around the bush about having “no time” to chit-chat is ridiculous, particularly in regards to over-use of social media. Lackadaisical listings of informational resources that have been important in creating the series which might help listeners.

Presentation of where and how The Pit discussion questions are displayed, and why they are important for this fairly cerebral programming.

Starting retrospective from Episode 1: “Parapsychology” and on through Episode 7: “The Blair Warlock Projected”, with whatever nuances I felt were fun to point out at the time of this recording, including a few perspectives via reviews, different TV show and movie introductions per episode, technical aspects and inspirations. When the Barnabas and Maggie couple suddenly mattered so much and how performing the role of Barnabas Collins changed things irrevocably.

Finally, description about this experience for you and I, along with the details of why what’s happened with misinterpretation of myself, this project, and the expectations of what the internet is, has been detrimental to all involved, and how to break free from those ideas. For listeners using social media who disavow having an addiction? Too late: You’ve got one.

archive.org link

podomatic link

podbay link

Downloadable from iTunes, as always...

The Pen Pals Are Here (For Real This Time)

Just picked up the mail and I am reveling in the fun of it! My stationery horde is dwindling and I’m discovering people who like to savour The Pit as it was meant to be savoured. Hallelujah!

Today I opened this delightful missive which says, “I’m glad that we’re pen friends! You’re the only pen friend I have who sends murder mystery parties with your letters, and I can attend these parties in my PJs!! Woo hoo!”

She also sent some very fun ticket stickers which read: “Admit One”. I am actually trying to get rid of all my crazy stickers but when I saw hers on the back of her envelope I suddenly desired stickers like that. Then? Inside the envelope she had included eighteen of them for me! It was this way of expressing that my show ought to be sent with those tickets as that signifies the theater feeling The Pit brings. What a bloody JOY! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Another pal drives frequently so the CD version of The Pit episodes are perfect for her long hauls. It’s funny because I often anticipated truckers would enjoy The Pit but I’ve yet to hear from any of them. Hopefully this was never due to Maggie expressing a bit of distaste to Barnabas in Episode 10 with,

coffee shop

“Oh, Barnabas, you’ve obviously never encountered a collection of all-night truck drivers swapping suggestive tales over their greasy breakfast plates.”

But who knows?

There are a few listeners of The Pit who don’t quite pick up the knack of the discussion questions as being guidelines to expressing what they enjoy per scene. That’s okay, though. The method that we once had to express our delight and the fun in our entertainment is very much more the “dying art” than letter-writing ever was or has been.

While it became extremely trendy to Hate-On so much in our abundance, the enjoyment of discussing what we were entertained by took a serious nose-dive when we were offered the alternative thumbs-up buttons. There are now even pesky hearts on youtube and iTunes to degrade our faculties even further. If there was an app for making these happy-buttons disappear I would consider PAYING for it. Monthly! (I already enjoy advertisement blockers on my equipment so I have little idea what kind of scary billboard world a great deal of my online audience is being suffocated with. 😦  )

The other difficulty we currently face is having too much choice. I’m immune to that being difficult as I already pruned my needs in the last twenty years. Even before the internet I had far too much thrown in my direction that I could never understand why I just had to like. Another reason I live on Devo’s “Freedom of Choice” song; All around me are people who really do want “Freedom FROM Choice”. It’s not a matter of a good lead to something they would naturally be interested in, but just floating through life waiting for others to send them in whatever direction another wishes them to go.

That became the worse problem imaginable as my audio entertainment was finally noticed and suddenly I had to see the same style of Dark Shadows fanfiction I was tired of reading and trying to avoid. My work, articles, and podcasts made it extremely clear what my interests and goals were in that department. Then, rather than find the specific niche audience I was looking for, it was the bummer-city, cliché types coming forward with precisely what I spent five years finding and did not enjoy at all. It’s as if most the online world is so flabbergasted with too much information that listening to a person or a fictional character is well-nigh impossible for them to do.

This is why correspondence, and the skill of it, is so important. It slows us down to start digesting information at our own human pace. This works because human beings are what we are, regardless of how desperate we seem to be to become The Borg or The Cybermen instead. It’s also exactly why we attained creations such as The Borg and The Cybermen in our storytelling: It’s a warning of things that could very much happen to us in the future. (Or right now.)

Cybermen_formation_Doomsday
As for Episode 17 in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, whose current title is “A Bio-Exorcist Comes To Collinwood”, I am working on the audio, yes, but I am also taking my time with the pen pals and letter-writing to heal myself back to being a better person. I’m often thanking each and every individual that I write to for helping me with this, even when they are so grateful to me for giving them the gift of my episodes. For me it’s a shared process and precisely how I always wanted to do all of this. “Go Online” wasn’t the worst option for me, it was the obvious one. But the human touch of going online was losing ground and I didn’t know that. Nobody seemed to know it, but they definitely defended it, that’s for sure. (It’s much easier to be dismissive, isn’t it?)

The audio itself is grueling and my format from doing voice performances back and forth in one go has shifted toward doing each voice separately. Doing that slows down the creation time. But this is a technique that most audio dramas are created by, having each performer in separate cubicles with a script and a headset, so it makes sense to switch to get each character’s voice better. I’m also finding that using a more caricature performance is as important as the accuracy in their speech patterns. The caricature voice differentiates who is speaking more easily so that it’s less likely a listener will lose track of which character is saying what. However, our too-friendly bio-exorcist is pretty damned easy to spot. Ha ha ha!

its showtime
The romance is sparking for our three couples now, Barnabas & Maggie, Tony & Carolyn, and Julia & Eliot. I really love how Elizabeth and Barnabas were running things at this point in the original Dark Shadows, but with Elizabeth on her voyage to England for my show, I’ve had to move away from that and am irked for a solution as to who will invite Amy Jennings to stay at Collinwood, eventually. *sigh* I thought, “Well, I could find some hilarious, sarcastic way that Roger would be encountering her instead and deciding, ‘Why the hell not?’” But that didn’t give me much enthusiasm.

Carolyn and Tony
The great answer came last night… Carolyn & Tony! Or it could just be Carolyn, or heck, Carolyn AND Carolyn, Stoddard & Muir. Who knows? But in any case I finally hit on how to keep Tony Peterson and Carolyn Stoddard’s romance alive: Do exactly what was done before. Have them solve problems together! In The Pit that is what reignited their romance, which is similar in many couples both fictional and real. (That kissing you hear in The Pit for these couples is obviously not me smooching my arm! That is me and my own sweetie. He’s been shy about it, but hey, he’s getting kissed! He’s not going to say no to me for that offer. 😉 )

So, for those who aren’t writing to me on paper or via email, there is a big reason my online activity has dwindled. I have returned to pen pals and am enjoying it immensely.

write a letter cover

No happy-buttons or flinging of links is going to get any of us more of the work and it never did before. Correspondence and discussion about the show(s) is what makes that happen and always did. When I receive insight and feedback from a listener I get to their responses a whole lot faster because this is my passion and my calling. But there are some pen pals who have no interest and that is also fine by me. They keep me company with other interactive details about life in general. That’s healthy and very healing all around. (People writing to me by email, private message, or even postal mail, who love the work but avoid the topic keeps me more at bay with them. This should be a surprise to no one. And really, why would it be?)

I do have a potential “Pit Update April 2017” started but I’m hoping I won’t have to create and release it. I prefer getting to the actual work. And strangely enough it is the quiet discussions of the characters on the demo and in the “editing room” that rivets me more than that fight scene everyone is waiting for! Maggie and Sam with their awesome percolator, Tony and Carolyn going for a drive, Dr. Hoffman and Professor Stokes having a quiet, studious discussion with romance interlaced, while Lily and Elizabeth enjoy the delights of mingling on board the RMS Queen Elizabeth ship. Those happier scenes are what keep me going.

I’m also working on the script for Episode # 18, “Braving The Waters” but that will take more Ghost and Mrs. Muir and Bewitched studying, of course. Chris Jennings may make his first appearance and there is fun already planned for that, similar to on the original Dark Shadows but much more humourous. Hee hee hee! Bill Malloy’s ghost should encounter Lily and Elizabeth. Lily can have tons of fun with Bill. I really like Lily as this cousin to dissuade Elizabeth needing to fear ghosts and the like, and Melissa has told me how wonderful it is for Elizabeth to finally have a girlfriend to pal around with, “She just never had that on the original show. This is really good for her!”

Liz and Lily

When we discussed it over the phone neither of us could quite figure out which of the two of them is “the straight man” in the relationship as that role sort of bounces back and forth between Elizabeth Stoddard and Lily Munster. Elizabeth shrugs at any clues that Lily is a daylight-walking vampire with even odder family members, and Lily doesn’t seem to notice Elizabeth being far more mundane than Munster, since to her Munster is mundane.

pop and magz
Another great thing is keeping Sam Evans alive and stretching out his weird psychic trips from his DS: First Year characteristics into being a reincarnation of Andre du Pres. This helps in the extreme with Maggie Evans processing her own reincarnation experiences.

If they had aimed to pull it off on Dark Shadows, which is what I saw them reaching toward, I’m not sure how Maggie could have handled that on her own. Her father, Sam, is the perfect bolster for that, especially if he’s already going through it himself. So in sorting out the main reason I started all of this, it ends up being a wonderful help in solving a lot of other dilemmas I might have faced if that wasn’t the reason I began.

Willie pensive Wadsworth looking down
My struggles with Willie Loomis have reached that safer harbour with him now as Wadsworth’s presence has helped to calm him down and I am very much looking forward to healing right along with him. His history is a mystery and should mostly remain so as it did on Dark Shadows. The main point with him is growth and learning better battles to pick, even if some are merely with his pen. Now that I have pen pals by snail mail I can practice my own calligraphy a bit more. ❤

As for the marriage novel, I’m still working on the next chapter which will be quite romantic. (And *cough* “adult”.) Their exploration of old memories will drift through, and I might add a card game in it rather than ending it with them planning to play one. It takes a lot out of me to go into Barnabas-mode, but it’s rewarding. As Sam himself mentions the couple in Chapter 22 of the novel, “…driving through the town of Collinsport to get to The Old House, where my daughter now lived with her excessively romantic husband…” He sure is!

I’ve complained he won’t let me write scenery, but the main thing I’ve had to admit to myself is that Barnabas, on his own terms, would hardly write scenery. The scenery he is forever looking at is his loving bride, Maggie, who is Kitty and Josette and herself. There is a lot to look at in a gal like that! (Even Cousin Lily can see the affection there. 😉 )

lily maggie and barnabas
Hopefully that’s updated everyone enough as to the state of things with me. I’m still determined and passionate, but I’m also healing from three years of shock, devastation in friendship loss, watching this science-fiction nightmare made of our lives happen unabated, and all of it being defended by masses of people who can’t bear to blame themselves for being misguided.

Now I get to editing, my letters, corresponding with new friends, and racing to the door when my sweetheart comes home. Then I look at my wine bottle and, after three years, I am finally able to say, “I don’t need that tonight. I’ll finish it tomorrow.”

love,

                                                                                           Daryl

P.S. If some of you out there, as several pen pals have expressed, mainly know Dark Shadows from the 2012 film of it and therefore believe I must automatically “hate” you? No. I don’t. It just got trendy to hate that film like a whole lot else got trendy to hate.

Hate became a disease online as it garnered attention. It’s a junior-high and high-school condition, and can also happen with spoiled louts in college. Whatever occurs to cause that; it’s a phase and a fad. I love the 2012 film, actually. I love a lot things that get a lot of hate. I always have, so I don’t worry about it. ❤

How To Get Back On Track…

Before I get started I just want to address that there are a lot of podcast updates and plenty of entries on this web-log you might be interested in. If you want to search for specific items you can use the search engine here on the upper-left, just below the logo for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows and above where it says, “Links To Episodes & Chapters”. Just type in the box what topics interest you.

I am explaining this because, as I’ve analyzed the devastation of social media on the human psyche, I am noticing that a major problem with us is we aren’t using our voluntary ability to seek out what we are looking for on our own. We’ve been programmed by social media algorithms as well as those algorithms which alter what you get first in a basic online search engine. Like spandex, this blend of programming tries to make your journey online “form-fitting” to your preferences. Unfortunately that means you will have less choice in the long-run and may have found yourself being led about by the nose until you feel your freedom-of-choice is seriously lacking. (Has anyone out there forgotten how to clean their room? Me too.)

Still, search engines are the best way to get started and remember that you are in charge of making your own choices. Many suffered and fought for the right to vote and freedom of choice. Don’t get too complacent with that right or it will be taken away, believe you me. You’ll either find yourself beholden to what’s thrown at you or you’ll have no sense of direction due to being oblivious to this format. A lot of algorithms promoting a person’s perceived interests very much weakens our ability to voluntarily look for and choose what we want to do or discover.

I’ve studied the social media phenomenon and psychologists report all this will eventually self-correct. My concern is we all are feeling embarrassed having gotten addicted to it. People often don’t like to admit to “being had”. However, we are all in this silent-crisis together so I’m happy to chuckle at myself and downgrade back to “being human”.

Thankfully my previous mental and emotional dilemmas were relieved by what some call “fluff” or “slice of life” storytelling. 🙂 There is some contradiction of what that means in literature as compared to theatrical works. In theatrical parlance, the term “slice of life” refers to a naturalistic representation of real life, sometimes used as an adjective, as in “a play with ‘slice of life’ dialogue”. I prefer looking at it that way even though much of what I’ve taken comes from the literature format. For those who have a high level of stress throughout most of their life these tales, books and films promote a sense of how one may live from season to season in good health. Tragedies will come, but they are rarely earth-shattering. Hence, I may remark, if one needs excessive tension or stories containing massive amounts of abuse, “They must have a very comfortable life to require that much drama and excitement.” (With Dark Shadows I would fast-forward through certain lagging scenes with the words, “The suspense is boring me.”)

If one has listened to my librivox material it will be noticed my preferred reading material is “slice of life” or “fluff”. I have also repeatedly read almost every fictional work by L.M. Montgomery, then I found the Fairacre series by Miss Read. The protagonist is an excellent example of a lady who is proud and satisfied with being a spinster regardless of how many nosy neighbours feel she should be otherwise. (Yes, I figuratively shout from rooftops about being a happily married woman thanks to Barnabas Collins and Maggie “Josette” Evans, but I maintain those without any romantic-paring inclinations may feel absolutely free to be themselves too!) With my readings of Vladimir Nabokov I find the same steady but intricate components that one would have in this genre even if some of it is intense or dark, but with all of these authors the depth of vocabulary is especially stimulating for description and comprehension.

I was about to enter the worlds of Beverley Nicols and D.E. Stevenson but I fell into The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows and here we are. Still, I mention these authors and creations for the sake that my own previous anxieties and struggles were lifted by what I learned imbibing them. Having lived in a form of hyperspace for so long I now have to downgrade to a human pace again and re-learn how to function in it. I deduce many other people could benefit from doing the same.

Much in the way of “stuff” needs to be sorted and thrown away, and a great deal already has been. I got a good start when Melissa entered my life. (Thank you!) More telephone calls or voice calls help this. Technical troubles still loom but finding ways to take care of them will be at a human pace, plenty of time to reflect on the everyday while one is standing in line or sitting in waiting rooms for tech support. If I’m bored there I can read some Victorian non-fiction to pass the time. (I still plan to get to Dark Shadows 1897, right?)

Correspondence? OH, YES! A precious few people still write letters and email. I like to watch the shows and take notes on them while I respond to those letters. In fact you might enjoy my reflections of what’s happening on Bewitched, Dark Shadows, The Munsters or The Ghost & Mrs. Muir and have some of your own to send in return. Good fun. (The Addams Family is heavy note-taking, I’m afraid. That clan has way too many details I need to analyze.)

Exercise? Yes. In fact I keep telling myself I can listen to Pit episodes in order to build new ones while doing said exercise. Fitness routines need space and I’m still working on creating more space. Boy, I miss my fitness routines! Nutrition needs to be seen to; Getting back to a better diet, more leafy greens and fewer carbohydrates especially.

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For The Pit? Well, that’s what this web-log is supposed to be about rather than me grousing at you all of the time. Endora and Captain Gregg will be an interesting dilemma but I have my ideas. It will be better when I reach that part and they let me know what they would say after studying them again. Sam Evans is still around so his reactions to all that’s going on are wonderful. Willie Loomis is calming down some, but we know how his sense of panic and explosive responses can maintain while our trusty butler, Wadsworth, provides the guidance he and others need. I’m sure Willie’s bonding time with Sarah continues as well as Sarah’s playtime with David.

Barnabas is sittin’ pretty with the odd return of Josette as Maggie Evans. They aren’t married yet in The Pit but that doesn’t mean they’re going to keep their hands off of each other. Plus Barnabas is ever the affectionate soul to friends, family and his lover alike. I used to tease him more but getting into his persona expresses the richness in romance and tenderness for that one-true-love and in doing so opens one’s heart to the complexity of love and our need to attain that which is thought to be unattainable.

With Maggie Evans there is a duality to work through. How much is her journey? How much is her as Josette once more?  The core of a person has variables. Memories unlocked provide her with answers she was striving to find, and as she remembers each detail slowly she has to decide what of her lover’s future she is allowed to reveal and what to keep secret from Barnabas so he can prove himself enough to ensure her trust again as a partner in wedlock someday. Still, she knows, there are plenty of bases that can be covered before one reaches home plate.  😉

Victoria Winters is coming into an understanding of her own powers as well as the past she couldn’t find and how it links with Collinwood. Morticia and Grandmama know Victoria has those answers within herself and wish to offer a way for Victoria to uncover them. Meanwhile I believe Peter Bradford is learning about Gomez Addams’ fixation with toy trains. I’m sure both guests are getting used to the hearty meals on Cemetery Lane. (Actual hearts likely included, of course.)

Lily Munster (passport alias Lily Drake) is looking more like Yvonne DeCarlo as Cousin Elizabeth Stoddard smiles with approval, but still there is all that pesky luggage to store and seasickness cures to consider before the wonders of their Atlantic voyage allows them more to unveil on their journey.

One thing I’m feeling strange about is where Roger Collins will be put in all of this. I really love that area of Dark Shadows in which Elizabeth and Barnabas are holding down the fort. How this will turn out with Elizabeth gone and Roger remaining is anyone’s guess! (Wait… I’m getting ideas… uh-oh…)

Tony Peterson and Carolyn Stoddard? I’m all for more of them. There is another date coming, another sunrise, another chance to go for walks, make out, and complain about paperwork and law-crap. Very possibly more Schooner Bay and Carolyn Muir in the works. Maybe Martha, too! That would be hip. (Please don’t ask for Claymore. He scares me. Ha ha.)

Dr. Hoffman and Professor Stokes? I need to watch more Dark Shadows because I know they have a chemistry I can tap into, plus they’ve worked well as a team. But Julia is likely feeling overwhelmed with her new suitor and Eliot has to pace himself before he woos her without feeling a little awkward, of course.

I have to find a way to bring Amy and Chris Jennings into the picture. Amy will be fascinating as I have to get to know her again and discover if there is any need for her to be aware of Sarah Collins ghost, or would Sarah want to shy away? It’s a good question. As for Chris, I believe our Mr. Wells will be pleased as punch he has a guest at The Inn who wants to be secluded for his own noisy activity! After Nicholas Blair in room # 13? I have a feeling Mr. Wells shan’t be arsed to investigate Chris Jennings room! He was warned and has had enough stress dealing with whatever demonic noises come out of Blair’s quarters.

Bill Malloy… how does he enter the picture, how does his ghost feel about Elizabeth Stoddard out in the open? How far has he come and how much farther will he go now that his hometown residents are regaining good sense, easy-going humour, and more acceptances of their spooks which would include himself?

Angelique Bouchard is a tough case. Somewhere in the Dark Shadows series she is missing until her return in 1897. In The Pit I see her returning with an encounter of Endora and Samantha somehow in tow, whether they decide to confront her in 1897 or more modern day. Diablos is a presence neither Endora, Samantha or even Serena nor Uncle Arthur have any use for. What they might think of Nicholas Blair is another story.

Sir Simon Milligan and Manservant Hecubus continue to vie for Angelique’s affections, but in the meantime the two of them are likely getting “Girl-Drink Drunk”.

__________________________________

As for Daryl Wor, I will try to take my own advice. Live day to day, chat with friends verbally, go out into the fresh air and accomplish routine tasks, throw out unneeded items to thrift stores, recycling or garbage piles. Eat well, write letters, mind the nutrients, create more episodes via the original shows and the guidance of their characters in this new journey we’re on. There is nothing I can do about the lost friendships but to mourn them in confusion and keep going. The social landscape has changed irrevocably. Presume those people will never come back. (It’s hard for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.)

Remove oneself from the hyperspace of social media.

Downgrade to “being human” again.

The Promise of What Praise Can Do “Margaret Josette Dupres (A Novel)” [Note 9]

more b and w

All right, my readers. Back to this. I’ve been in such a creeped out, science-fiction mood by all the tech addictions, folks being programmed to stalk me (as well as each other,) and people wandering around putting “follows” on everything I do rather than just saying, “I liked this, this and this in your 14th Episode,” so we can move on to Episode 15, etc. I feel the need to try and focus on something positive.

Now where were we?

Ohhhhh, yeah. The Widows Hill love affair. That blew me away. I just thought, “Well, where else are you two up for making new memories to wipe out that bad stuff? A-ha! The big one!”

Chapter 18: A Warm Night On Widows Hill

This actually starts off with a sequence of Carolyn Stoddard and Tony Peterson making out with a glimpse of what our star couple is doing nearby. It’s always nice to gravitate to the first couple that I worried about on Dark Shadows. Of course they get distracted because Barnabas and Maggie (as Josette) are clearly having a trysting that is more intimate than Tony & Carolyn themselves. They decide to find another bench so all may enjoy the evening as privately as possible.

Let’s hit this old review from Osheen I love on the T-rated version:

Osheen Nevoy chapter __ Feb 4, 2014
Nice to see Carolyn and Tony Peterson together! I always feel that poor ol’ Tony deserves more attention than he gets … he does rather get sidelined once Jerry Lacy takes on the mantle of playing the repellent Trask family! Anyway, good to see him and Carolyn having a bit of fun, without angst, misunderstandings, and/or vampires and witches getting in the way. And cleansing Widow’s Hill is a great concept – extremely brave on the part of our hero and heroine, of course, so it just shows how, in this case, love really does conquer all. I wonder if this will make the Widows stop wailing and causing trouble!

That is just gold because it was exactly what I was shooting for. She knows the characters and she knows the score. I would say the Widows would go from wailing to having a good “Oh, my!” giggle for a change. ❤

myhrr chapter 18 . May 6, 2014

wonderful…as always!

Thank you!

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 18 . May 6, 2014

Oh, what a brilliant idea for them. Widow’s Hill was that place of devastation for them. I believe that their lovemaking twenty feet from the cliff to be what they needed in their case in order to fade out what happened there almost 200 years before. It was also sweet to have Tony and Carolyn to be eyewitnesses to these “ravenous” lovers, and I found it interesting that Carolyn was glad that Josette/ Maggie entered the picture with reference to the weird relationship between her and Barnabas through vampirism (creepy as it is). I hope this is a healing factor for them. Very nice, Daryl 😉

And thank you again. Mostly what I’ve gotten is private discussion about this chapter, but yes, Helena says it strait. A healing factor indeed.

With Chapter 19: A Delicate Splendour, it was a race home to escape the previous tryst outdoors. Would there be more? Not as one might think. It’s more in the realm of “after-play” which I really hadn’t seen before in what romantic stories I delved into. Very often a couple may just go to sleep, or move away from each other as if the experience was a wipe out or needs to be discarded like finishing a film. I hear tell not a lot of folks know of this “after-play” experience in love. Gosh! No wonder the world of romance has dwindled! Then again people who do know about this are rather too busy engaging in it so we don’t hear from them much. 😉

As it happens there is discussion during this scene in Josette’s bedroom, about what Maggie’s existence with so many different memories is like for her. In my first draft I actually did get a critique I needed because originally Josette expressed the love would have been as wonderful if they had been married in 1795. My friend objected that she thought it wouldn’t, and it dawned on me she was very right. The reincarnation and conquering tragedies to reach each other almost two centuries later? That is what made it more spectacular. This was the kind of critique that was extremely helpful. Sadly many have drawn the conclusion about what constructive criticism is, believing it to be pointing out flaw after flaw to the result being that flaws are all the eye will search for. This really achieves nothing but the creator feeling her efforts are futile. However, when a good point is made regarding the depth of the characters? That is helpful. And so the change was made. 🙂

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 19 . May 9, 2014

This was a beautifully-written chapter from Barnabas’ point of view. It’s nice to know that he could express his desire through the written word. Cool 🙂 (I wonder if Willie was getting complaints about the couple’s unavailability? 😉 )

Ah, yes. There is a little interruption on their way up the stairs by Willie who can’t get them to listen. He has good news, but realizes they’re at it again and it can wait. He’s got a gal of his own so he’s been quite understanding.

 katie chapter 19 . May 9, 2014

Beautifully written! You captured the passion of 200 years, while letting Barnabas remain the charming gentleman that is his true nature.

Thank you! It is very much what I saw when going over most of the program. Just finding a point to jump in and rearrange the variables for an upswing.

It used to puzzle, annoy and anger me to see stuff written about Barnabas Collins where supposed fans just don’t get him at all. It makes me feel as if I’m reading a Star Trek article that is gung-ho about Captain Jean-Luc Picard, only to discover the fan is intensely irritable about Picard’s love for Shakespeare or his playing Dixon Hill. Nowadays I find it sadly hilarious. Barnabas Collins pining for his lost-love? Okay, I’ve grown up on Edgar Allan Poe: “Boo-hoo, the lost Lenore…” I can dig it. In fact, I’ve been wanting to re-investigate some of Poe’s romantic work. It’s rather reminiscent of Barnabas and no wonder: Dark Shadows is based on the classics.

“Wretches, ye loved her for her wealth and hated her for her pride,

And when she fell in feeble health, ye blessed her—that she died!

How shall the ritual, then, be read? the requiem how be sung

By you—by yours, the evil eye,—by yours, the slanderous tongue

That did to death the innocence that died, and died so young?”

Hmm! Poe’s “Lenore”. Seems rather familiar here. Although many fans just hate Josette because she’s pretty.

Now back to the fun.

Chapter 20: Willie Toilet Papers Collinwood

Yes, you read that correctly! I had this sticky note clinging to our tea-cabinet that would remind me I really wanted to see Willie Loomis and Nurse Jackson TP The Great House. I wanted it for the radio drama but I had to hold-off for a long time to figure out why the audience was so blasted speechless. So the note kept looming for Mr. Loomis. And when this novel took over, I was still loving Willie and I thought, “Just write it like he’s remembering it and telling someone.” (Truth be told I needed a hard cider to get started. ha ha)

Nurse Jackson is about as close to a combo of original character and peripheral Dark Shadows character as I’ve had to ever flesh out. (Caleb Collins was easier as he has a lot of back-history and I understand ghosts and Victoriana.) I mainly recalled Nurse Jackson taking care of Willie Loomis when Barnabas and Dr. Hoffman go to retrieve him from Wyndcliff. It wasn’t much but I’m still working on her. No first name, so for a while I just called her “Jackie”, but then knowing Willie’s love of jewels I found it would be a delight to give her a gem stone name. Currently I’ve decided on Cora as shortened from Coral, which is a gem of the sea and not the most precious or expensive, but for Mr. Loomis? Perfect. (However I’ll manage her better in the third draft of this novel, I’m sure.)

Willie pretty

With Willie’s habits of making trouble to either get attention or from being so exposed to it socially in his past, the solution I see for him is a lady with the ability to appreciate his mischievous side and encourage more innocent versions of mischief. Would not a nurse understand him? I believe she would!

However, for a romantic novel? Toilet papering the roof led to other things. ❤

myhrr chapter 20 . May 14, 2014

Aww! Willie and his lady’s unbridled passion made me smile. Warmed the cockles of my heart it did!

Me too!

Ms. Karen Trask chapter 20 . May 14, 2014

I really enjoyed reading this. I was there with them as they enjoyed hurling the toilet paper over the side. They probably could hear me laughing along with them. I enjoyed hearing Willie describe his adventure with Josette/Maggie and really got the sense that they were friends and cared about each other. As to the lovemaking, it was great to hear Willie struggling to explain how it felt/he felt about being close to someone. As always at the end, I wanted to hear more about Willie’s adventure.

Nice story!

Yay! I actually got lucky with this one. There was a group page in which pornography was being discussed and the lady who wrote this review had asked, “What’s wrong with porn?” So I jumped in as I’d just posted this chapter and asked, “Hey! Wanna review my Willie Loomis porn?” Sometimes we just gotta be blatant, right?

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 20 . May 14, 2014

I’m waiting for Elizabeth to find out and rant against Roger for allowing the toliet papering party to happen now 🙂 Willie has a companion to finally be with him. Although he called her Josette, I’m wondering if it was the Maggie part that was really enjoying his escapade. But then again, Josette was loosening up with port. This was a good Willie chapter, and I’m looking forward to more on the new couple 🙂

Me too. I’ve been working on Barnabas/Josette so long it really would be nice to get back to the other couples. And I must laugh with this idea Helena waits for. Elizabeth getting home and possibly seeing the toilet paper and declaring, “Roger Collins! I can see you’ve let the winds of indulgence overrule any common sense!”

Veritas chapter 20 . May 14, 2014

Aww Willie loves! I so looked forward to this chapter and now that I’ve read it I’m looking for more! This was so beautiful.

This girl is gonna be so good for him! I knew that if he got the right girl things would start looking up for him, and here she is!

I love that he finally called her Josette. After Barnabas and all his shenanigans what with the kidnapping and frantic obsession, you’d think Willie would either want to throttle someone or jump from Widow’s Hill if and when he heard it again.

So so soooo much love for this! Keep going!

I do aim to. It’s so wonderful to see kindred spirits coming out. I know these reviews are two years old and I am receiving some new ones which I love, but as I say I needed to focus on something positive today.

My husband and I are celebrating 23 years as a couple together this weekend. And no, it doesn’t make me feel old, it makes me feel good to see, after all our own struggles, here we are still, and so much better thanks to this creation and all the loving support for it.

Darkest blessings to all here.

leaning in over banister new

Peace.

 

The Journey Continues… for the characters and myself…

Looking at how long I’ve struggled with this project, from 2010-now, but mainly 2012 to 2015, I’ve had to recognize things I had no knowledge of, however much I hunted and gathered all the information and needed help. When I found that traffic graph in 2013, figuring out what it meant I looked over months of silent readers and was completely stunned. That’s when the grief cycle began. I use the old model for the five stages even though many of us are aware that those stages are not absolute. Some patterns are added or two will be weaved in. So, all of that hard work and laughter and I’m hearing nothing for ages from a silent audience?

“Denial is the first of the five stages of grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief.”

I’ve held on to this denial for some time now. It doesn’t make sense to me nor any of my newest supporters that so damned many people could enjoy my work and not want to express that with more than being a number, a like-clicker, or just a lurker. People share they’re work, in most cases, for communication on it, unless they’re out to make money. Fanwork usually makes no profit whatsoever. It can’t. The only gain is the knowledge of what was enjoyed.

People who enjoy anything in the arts and entertainment like to discuss what they enjoy with someone else. Pen pals express their hobbies and favourites in streams, as well as who they are. Why? Because they’re looking for those of like-mind they will get along with and enjoy the discourse of letter-writing with. (Some people are happy with the idea of “friendship” and that solely, which is why social networks provide the lazy-style of comfort they need for approval. They can simply assume who cares and who that person is. The rest of us don’t work that way.)

With this my stage of denial still lingers even now. How could you not want to discuss what I’m creating with me? As my newest friend has stated, “It’s natural to want to talk to someone or express what was enjoyed. What is wrong with these people?”


“Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself and your loved one who died, but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this? Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger. Anger is strength and it can be an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothingness of loss. At first grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything… The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to them. It is something to hold onto; and a connection made from the strength of anger feels better than nothing.We usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.”

I think my rants and aggravation has been seen many times by my readers and listeners. What choice was I left to? No one was helping. No one was showing they cared minus Helena but she stepped in 19 months after that silence happened and we maintain our friendship to this day. She went looking for stories to enjoy and expressed herself naturally. Why bother with something for that long if it doesn’t mean anything to you?

I went to investigate why this happened to me and I found a ton of dirty laundry out there from Dark Shadows fans. It ain’t hidden either. Type in a search engine for pairings of Barnabas/Julia or Barnabas/Angelique and you’ll find plenty of stories that aren’t often true to the characters with many people upset at Barnabas for not being in love with either of these women, or having done them wrong. For Barnabas and Maggie or Josette fans looking and then finding that kind of thing? They’ll have doubt cast on themselves and they’ll also feel badgered and hurt. They won’t want to reach out. They won’t even want to look anymore. In fact, they have to hear this crap from people who approach them. Was finding that out going to piss me off? It sure was! I didn’t pick who Barnabas loved. I looked for a relief series and couldn’t find one. Did I care about who loved who? Only in as much that they weren’t reaching each other on the program. My first hurt was Tony & Carolyn.

carolyn and tony

As far as I am concerned now? They’re fine.

What the hell do I care to throw insults at a miserable vampire for not loving some broad? What mattered to me is he loved Josette, and she him, and I saw Maggie constantly struggling with feeling lost about herself, among other signs. I care about the characters and requited-loves finding harmony in reaching each other. I’m the same with real people.

sam painting gregg

Again, I started all this because of Sam Evans, that was the final straw, but in for a penny in for a pound.

So yes, I’ve been very angry. I’ve been angry at the silence and I’ve been angry at what caused that silence and I’ve been angry at the people perpetuating that behaviour to continue. It took years to find out that fans of this pairing for Barnabas were being kept away from each other in almost the same way as the couple itself. They don’t want to “take-over” or whatever the idea is with so many of the other fans. They want their own small corner of the world to enjoy each others company and heal their hurts together. And that’s been treated like a crime or some world-domination idea. Barnabas and Josette were planning to run away to Boston together. As far as I’m concerned I’d be happy to meet all the fans of this pairing right there! Perhaps a nice little coffee shop out of the way somewhere. (Not a massive crowd of supposed Dark Shadows fans. In the majority for them? I have not been impressed.)


“Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared. “Please God, ” you bargain, “I will never be angry at my wife again if you’ll just let her live.” After a loss, bargaining may take the form of a temporary truce. “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others. Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want life returned to what is was; we want our loved one restored. We want to go back in time: find the tumor sooner, recognize the illness more quickly, stop the accident from happening…if only, if only, if only. Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. The “if onlys” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently. We may even bargain with the pain. We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt. People often think of the stages as lasting weeks or months. They forget that the stages are responses to feelings that can last for minutes or hours as we flip in and out of one and then another. We do not enter and leave each individual stage in a linear fashion. We may feel one, then another and back again to the first one.”

Bargaining, if I haven’t gone through this one back and forth? I have no idea what else happened. I have bargained like crazy. I went from rants to apologies to “What will work best for these people?” I care about them and I care about myself. Maybe they only have phones. Well, suggest a smile-face or something. Hmm, well maybe they’re disabled, try other avenues. Maybe I could reach out to fans in the other fandoms. That actually worked quite well! Try other fan work sites. Hmm… okay, well, let’s make the show in audio and make it the best I can, that’ll get people talking. Not really… Care package plan? Better. Let’s try tumblr… whoops! Wow, there’s a WHOLE lotta arse-holes there…

darkness loves us

until I found The Addams Family crowd, weeeeeee!

Well, the people listening like-click as if there is no tomorrow. Maybe I can just find book club types, or college radio geeks, or just radio geeks and they can do the talking? Oh boy… even hundreds and hundreds MORE numbers. But discussion? No dice! (Actually, over the years I’ve had a few people step up to the plate mainly to say, “I didn’t really listen to it, but this and this and this was wrong and here’s some more advice even though I didn’t pay attention.” Ummmmm…. okay…. 😛 )

I believe the list of bargaining for me is too long to relate here.


These last two stages rather melded together. What happened is about three people came forth recently and said strait up how good the work was, how much they were enjoying it, one even said she felt guilty she wasn’t paying and could I please open a donations account. (There is a plan in the works for that.) Another got all thirteen episodes reviewed and commented on in less than a month! For Episode 10 “The Kids Are All Right” he added,

Your adopted people are growing well and their numbers are as well. So is channeling like having multiple personalities? Just asking if we all need to warn your husband… You have done a remarkable job in this and your hard work is liked. People as you have said seem to not want to either do more then “like” or just be a number. I think social networks and such have done a great injustice to all. Before we would say we enjoyed or thank you. Now press like or share! This, I think, is the greatest wall with your followers. We have yet again been further removed from reaching out to others. Well I, for one, stand with you.

May they see that “like” does not say enough. It is robotic. A non committal response.


Another new friend has been completely livid at the treatment I’ve received since we found each other. How could someone with this much skill in writing, talent in acting, and versatility in creating the audio and being so giving with so much get treated like dirt?

That was when those last two stages arrived for me:

After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever. It’s important to understand that this depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone? Why go on at all? Depression after a loss is too often seen as unnatural: a state to be fixed, something to snap out of. The first question to ask yourself is whether or not the situation you’re in is actually depressing. The loss of a loved one is a very depressing situation, and depression is a normal and appropriate response. To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be unusual. When a loss fully settles in your soul, the realization that your loved one didn’t get better this time and is not coming back is understandably depressing. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way.

It’s true. It happened. I have been treated very badly as well as harassed and insulted by those I was never looking for.

Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “OK” with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don’t ever feel OK or all right about the loss of a loved one. This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. We will never like this reality or make it OK, but eventually we accept it. We learn to live with it. It is the new norm with which we must learn to live. We must try to live now in a world where our loved one is missing. In resisting this new norm, at first many people want to maintain life as it was before a loved one died. In time, through bits and pieces of acceptance, however, we see that we cannot maintain the past intact. It has been forever changed and we must re-adjust. We must learn to reorganize roles, re-assign them to others or take them on ourselves. Finding acceptance may be just having more good days than bad ones. As we begin to live again and enjoy our life, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved one. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move, we change, we grow, we evolve. We may start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief its time.

For I? It is the loss of potential, what could have gone faster, been better. Not an actual person, but an entity of creation and the creativity to go along with it. Being misled, as well as misunderstood in a wild array of patterns I’d already seen before in my family life, institutions, and so-called friendships that came before.

I’ve been told things I knew were either untrue or wrong and told persistently as a way of others covering up their own guilt or personal-shortcomings. So what? You spent just as much time defending ill-actions by one’s self and others when that time could have been better spent in simply looking over the work and getting to the task of discussion. It took one man 20 days to get through all thirteen episodes and answer the discussion questions. It’s not like he wasn’t “busy” too. But others are still saying, “I’ll get to it.” after over a year. Do you feel guilty about that? Stop. Solving a problem takes less time and gives you more in return. We all know this. Condescending me about it just makes the wound even bigger, for you and for me. And then when the people who make that effort come forward? Who do you feel better for? Me or you?


In The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows problems are solved with the help of outside communities. What happens when that takes place?

Further opportunity to achieve, solve more, enjoy your time being alive & well, or at least content. The people of Collinsport are better off because others pointed things out they could use to improve their circumstances, or simply stepped in to keep harm from being done to the point the Collins clan began doing it too.

As I move through the original series once more to find what problems are coming up? Well, Adam is no longer in my series. His troubles were sorted with long ago. Victoria and Peter have less to worry about being with Gomez, Morticia and the rest in their home. The tides turned and there is still loads to solve, but the same people are finding their strengths and moving forward, even Willie Loomis who is wrestling with giving himself more credit as others are showing him how.

Willie pensive Wadsworth looking down

So even with my stages of grief, which will never eliminate what has happened to me, I still look for solutions to continue. I know I’ve been treated quite horribly, even by family and friends from before, some of who swore they would try to help, and a few very slowly do. There is no form of gas-lighting or dissuading me that this isn’t true. I’ve been through all the tricks and I know better. On top of that I look for people who hurt to try and help them in whatever way I can. If others would like to mock that aspect of me we shall wonder at them and what purpose in life they could have.

All I wanted was 25 people and 5 perspectives per episode, that was all. I’ve looked everywhere, because of the people who can’t talk, to find those 5 and so far I’ve only found about 3 for the whole after all of this time and struggle looking. And the downloads continue daily, have been since Episode 13 was released last Christmas. I can’t do much more than wait and keep going now. Promotion and advertising has seldom done much for this. The talkers usually approach me first.

As for myself, I like the small band of chatty types I’ve found. The people who love Barnabas flaws and all, who love his happiness in “Margaret Josette Dupres” after watching his hurt, the people who saw Maggie as the reincarnation of Josette but couldn’t put it into words. We have a lot of healing to do together, and lot of things we need to talk about, both in horror and in love. So it’s starting and I pray that continues. Maybe that old quote I found at a bus stop will finally ring true again someday.

a small group

By the way, I snapped this picture with an old camera in Seattle. I’ve seen my view stats and Sea-Tac is hitting me big time looking for more. So, guys? I’ve been up there. I know for absolute certain you have the chat in you. You live in gloomy weather with shining smiles for it. Stop lurking, Washington. Start talkin’. 😉

The Promise of What Praise Can Do: “Margaret Josette Dupres (A Novel)” [Note 7]

Having been through the abuse stream, as well as watching it occur, along with my studies in psychology and what William Faulkner describes as “the human heart in conflict with itself”, I saw what post-kidnapped Maggie Evans would be struggling with as a reincarnation of Josette. With Margaret Josette Dupres (A Novel) I still feel a re-working is in order for some parts of the book. Because The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows received so many numbers, (and still does) rather than the insight I needed to keep going, when I was taken over by the marriage novel, I felt Maggie got too much of the fast-track, when I meant to explore her difficulties more in the radio drama. However, when I completed my first draft I left the three Healing chapters until the end. I didn’t want to go there, but I knew for the sake of authenticity Barnabas and Maggie would have to endure this difficulty.

How Maggie could forgive the kidnapping could not take effect simply by looking at her lives as Josette Dupres and Kitty Soames, more would be necessary to get through the memories of the trauma. Over all she understands Barnabas’ madness but that inner child has needs and many relationships go through levels of stress. Acting-out, whether in forms of fantasy or reality, is what many couples require to express both pleasure and pain.

Maggie Evans was not the sole person to experience that kidnapping. So who does she turn to? The man who changed from cocky to empathetic due to being trapped by this circumstance.

Willie scared

Willie Loomis

Chapter 12 “Willie’s Wounds” originally was something I was putting together to reflect on a unique experience Willie had after being shot in the back and going both to the hospital and to Wyndcliff. As this novel was being re-written it became an integral addition to the story as a whole rather than the bedroom vignettes it began as. Rather than this tale being told for no particular purpose in mind, Maggie ascends the stairs to Willie’s room at the end of Chapter 11. In Chapter 12 Maggie is now asking for help to determine what her feelings are and how the experience affected Willie Loomis. After so much time he was wondering how on earth her inner struggles being married to her kidnapper didn’t surface before.

“Yes,” she says to him, “tell me anything about it. I just need to think about you’re being in the hospital and at Wyndcliff and why you were there.”

Willie Loomis then goes on to detail his experience, the main one being someone showing him kindness in a way that was difficult for him to understand where he was and how it was happening. In Dark Shadows they placed Willie Loomis on his back after he was shot there! What the heck??? (Actually, Mad Margaret and I have discussed several times how nerve-wracking that was to witness. She seemed rather grateful I rectified that situation in my work. Additives as such make one feel better.) So in Chapter 12 he relates to being laid on his stomach instead.

Link To Chapter 12: Willie’s Wounds


mad margaret chapter 12
     I was very interested in reading this chapter because of the subject matter. My story is going in a similar direction. Similar but very different. I liked the way you approached the fill-the-gap theme. It’s really nice that Willie and Maggie both have someone they can confide in. Thank you for pointing out that in the hospital he would have been on his stomach, not his back like on TV. It was very realistic the way his mind wandered in and out of reality because of the pain meds and maybe some memories faded with time. Sounds like we may get to meet Miss Kiss. And now Maggie wants shackles and a bucket of ice? Oh geez, can’t wait to see where that’s going to go.

Yes, thank you! (And I’m still wondering if the later chapters were read and what the thoughts are, though that is a much harsher subject matter, of course.) I love the description “Miss Kiss”. Bringing out peripheral characters is tough. With this one it’s still rather difficult. I have to finally stamp down a first name eventually as they didn’t give the nurse one on the program.

katie chapter 12
I’ve always felt that Willie was a “go along to get along” guy in Jason’s world, just trying to survive. I think that it took his encounter with Barnabas to bring out the real Willie Loomis. A sweet, unassuming man, ready to sacrifice himself for those he deemed worthy. There is a lot in Willie that needs to be expressed, but I’m pretty sure that his upbringing never provided him with those skills. Willie is my most loved member of this dear, dysfunctional family and you have begun fine work in helping Willie and Maggie find their way back to living in peace. I hope that the three of them get their happily ever after, when the healing is complete.

Another fine bit of writing.

Indeed. I felt the same way. It was like Willie was rough and tumble, kind of scuzzy as he’d been exposed to that much of his life. I heartily appreciate this discussion on the work. I remember getting so much silence and writhing, “My God! Doesn’t anyone even care about Willie?!” But being under the power of Evil Barnabas, having to come to terms with this totally unfathomable situation Willie can’t control, his better nature grows out, and then more friendships form for him. Thank you, Katie!

myhrr chapter 12
A bucket of ice? Whatever for?

Your writings remind me of what I think. Very liberated nathaniel hawthorne would have written if he had lived in the 19th century. Very dark, yet very soothing. A snippet of a whip infused with a tender spring of babys breath. Thoroughly enjoyed this chapter!

Yes, a bucket of ice. Whoah! Nathaniel Hawthorne. Amazing. That is one author I have the worst time following and I put that down more to the time period than his style. It’s groovy to be compared to an author who is that high in caliber. Blessings for that.

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 12
I hope Maggie will find the nurse and bring her up to Collinwood for Maggie. At first I thought he was fantasizing due to the meds, but he saw her shadow. Hmmm.

And I am SO ready for the ice and the chains session! Great chapter for Willie and ready for that next chapter 😉

Ever the helpful Helena, oh and she lets us know what’s coming up. Goodness! I know. I got the feeling, as said in my first podcast intro, that Barnabas seemed to have this S&M thing going on. Never thought I’d have to go through it! AH! (And Helena had read previous drafts so she was aware of what was coming up.) I must wonder why Barnabas turns on so many people. I tap into the complexity as well as the deep romantic nature. I leave dreams of sleeping with him up for others to enjoy. My own healing comes from seeing all the romances finally reaching each other. Watching the love that could be, and for me is, in the work.

Veritas chapter 12
I’ve always liked Willie, even when Barnabas had him doing all the henchman stuff, but now I love him. He seems like he’d be such a sweet guy if he wanted to, and I can’t wait to meet the mystery woman!

Uh oh, Barnabas better be prepared! He told her to get angry and take it out on him, I just hope he realizes how bad its gonna be!

Keep going! I’m loving every minute of it, even the not-so-happy parts.

Yay! Yes, even our poor mystery-woman was getting the fast-track for this story. All in all everyone’s curiousity and interest in what was going to happen next? That seriously helped me! Having to go through the horror all over again was painful, I knew it was going to be and in performing it, mostly in mind, but partly in body, I actually created physical pain for myself that weekend. My husband was quite worried. So thank you all for the enthusiasm! ❤


10659261_1459676970969307_2793389646950023177_n

With Chapter 12 Maggie gains the sense of revenge she requires by Chapters 13-15. In order to relieve herself and Barnabas she finds a way to bind him in her bedroom, and present a series of tortures to him, which he had been on the point of almost requesting in earlier chapters. His own turmoil having turned him into the mad creature he was, Barnabas understands a cruel type of behaviour has to be released and his love for her is dear enough he wants to give himself into it for her sake.

Link To Chapter 13, Healing: Part 1 Shackled

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 13
Okay, let me get my amusement out of the way first: LOL! Make sure the door’s locked, Josette, or Willie may be traumatized by looking at Barnabas’ in all of his chained and iced-down glory. 😀

Now to get serious: the tables had turned for Barnabas. His punishment for what he did to Maggie (and she was scary in this chapter) was being delivered. Oh the fear he must be feeling, but he does it for her healing, which she deserves. But I wonder what does the little boy in him fear? Is it the unknown or something concrete? Recollections of being punished by his father and not knowing how? I wonder if the next chapter will answer that…

You put together the atmosphere well, Daryl. Looking forward to the conclusion 😉

Ah, yes. The only person to review this chapter. With the numbers I got I think many were hungrily enticed by Barnabas getting some S&M from his beloved. However, at least Helena wasn’t too embarrassed to admit it. I realized in all of this it was very likely Barnabas would want to be sure that door was locked. A little mercy on Maggie’s end. Maggie refers to him as a little boy fairly often to me when I channel her. Having that power over him as Josette she can see more sides to his nature than most. We all have in us that inner child we carry from our earliest days.

Link To Chapter 14, Healing: Part 2, Punishment

The wee hours proceed with Maggie torturing Barnabas, with ice, with resounding slaps, taunts, teases, biting words, and sitting in front of the warm fire while he lies in bed freezing. The discussion is also telling in that he admits his memory during the kidnapping was only remembering her, not Angelique, not all that had happened, just Josette, and their being taken from each other. Only one review, but then again I didn’t post this too far or with a photo as I felt so ill about the whole thing at the time.

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 14
That was a little intense, but way more for Barnabas as the subject of torture. It was funny that he tried to cheat Maggie out of her revenge by attempting to warm himself, but I loved it when she read his thoughts and said, “Don’t even think about it.” Exactly. If Maggie wasn’t relieved of her sufferings, then why should he? Well done here, Daryl! 😉

Thank you. It was good to have this reflection! I’m not sure he was trying to cheat her but coming up with some thought in his mind that could sustain him through the torture, but all in all this is true and he knew it was true, they both did.

Like To Chapter 15, Healing: Part 3, Redemption

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 15
Wow! That was some heavy, emotional stuff going on in there. I hope Maggie/ Josette had got over the hardest part of her recovery from her past trauma. And although the physical discomforts/ pain were cringe-worthy, the thing that broke Barnabas down was hearing that he caused shame to her. I think that he REALLY got the message of her pain at that moment. Great chapter! 🙂

Thank you again. I was really surprised at the outcome and not only that but I found Maggie torturing Barnabas even more than in the previous draft. That was where my physical pain came in. I had to burn up as her and choke myself as Barnabas to get a feeling of what that would be like or what it had been like in my experiences with abuse. It was like a blow to the heart when she snarled at him so viciously, and it makes sense as he would be ashamed of having turned into something so different than when he wasn’t cursed. Plus the drinking was a new element as well. Previously they had a certain sexual gratification from that, now it’s become painful, it’s part of her revenge.

katie chapter 15 
I like the ‘all bets are off’ approach you took with this. After what these two had endured, a simple trip to Wyndcliff wasn’t likely to heal the pain. If any two people were ever candidates for PTSD, it would be Maggie and Barnabas.

Very intense, and in parts, very difficult to read because of the great emotion and anger, but a happy story too. Maybe now these lovers can get on with having the happy life they deserve.

I am sooooo grateful for this review, Katie. I truly am. It was decidedly difficult to endure with them. With fans who are strangely offended at this pairing I see teasing take place that it’s a fairy tale wedding and this hard work into making it accurate and valid proves that it’s nothing of the sort. When I studied regression therapy I saw that the only way Maggie could remember being Josette for sure was to unblock the kidnapping and all of a sudden she has so much information to process. Plus I didn’t expect her reaction at the end. I thought she would have her way with him and that would be it, but when those tears came I was completely stunned.


Still working on Episode 15 of the radio drama. Lots of augmenting for it’s own authenticity, even with the uncertainty it will ever be uploaded, but press on we must.

I look forward to better changes in the future from listeners of the radio series, but after over a year of surging hopes only to be defeated I can’t afford to hope for it anymore. Just keep going and see what happens.

There will be more happiness and turmoil for this marriage as well as how their friends and relations view it. Very much looking forward to Sam Evans entry in first person, but we have a lot of love and affection to explore before that.

Many blessings and take care,

Daryl

oh god