Thank you, Pen Friends!

For all of you out there talking to me on the phone, all of you writing me letters and emails, all of you who would *like* to do so or would *like* to continue to do so but got scared:

I told myself years ago to find you.

I told myself this ‘social networking’ crap was a waste of time.

I told myself I had to find the people who remembered how to correspond or wanted to return to it.

I told myself, “I know this is going to work.”

I began finding you and I told myself, “I knew this was going to work.”

And then?

It did!


Thank you, and bless you all!

All my love,




P.S. I miss you, Mere.

Things I’m Grateful For…

snake pit we never close

Yes, this is a bored and waiting Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce wondering when his damn turn is coming up. I channeled him a little too early for a while, and as a result I began smelling each bite of my food. It was a bit disturbing.

Funny portion I found when I made a tired post on facebook, I was looking through what photo to use to show that and then I found this:

Dear dad who the hell is Julia Hoffman

It cracked me and a few people up because I’d labeled it: “Dear Dad, Who the hell is Julia Hoffman?”

Man, I had no idea what I was getting into when I started all this via crappy equipment back in 2011. As for me it’s seems my whole life has been built to do all of this. I wanted a good education but mainly what I got was pop culture entertainment. Trying to get a good education resulted in learning how whacked-out humans can truly be. They say one thing and then go around doing the opposite. That’s why I like when someone puts up news of good deeds, even when it comes from non-human beings. Then all the comedy and humour I’ve imbibed, as well as the techniques for improving memory. Historical research from both curiousity and from trying to get my original material accurate. Money has always been a major problem, but when I got a little? I stopped buying cheap trinkets and got a ton of dictionaries, lexicons, thesaurus’, synonym/antonym books, and just studied on my own. Could barely afford college so I didn’t attend enough there.

Then someone suggested Vladimir Nabokov. Whoah! This man can WRITE! And English wasn’t his first language? Well this guy is speaking MY language! Wow! I was starting with Transparent Things, if memory serves, and he began a discourse on how when one focuses on a material object the history of that object links in. “Transparent things, through which the past shines!” Yes! Like James Burke’s series, “Connections”! Associative memory! Exactly.

And associative memory is how comedy works. How did Robin Williams accomplish such speed? One thing led to another, and then another and another. He kept going. And this is likely why improvisation was one of his favourite activities. The exploration of the human mind, where might this story go if I become a character or set of characters and let them take over? And as many of us know, it goes far!

Many a character had been taken into my psyche and in depth, as well as original characters I formulated, both to discover them and to discover my own identity. Then I come into Dark Shadows. Wow! These people gots problems! But why? What’s so bad about spooky? Oh! Okay, they aren’t getting the nice spooky. Hmm, what about all those other shows in the 1960s that did get the nice spooky?

Blending them together as accurately as possible? This is why The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is so damn funny. Put all those fun spooks together with spooky people who are hurting? It’s HEALING TIME! Woo-woo! And then… are they meeting for the first time? No. Doing the research and I find, these people could essentially know each other already. Pasts are left open on many shows to allow that flexibility.

As in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

SPOCK: It’s true. I do not have a brother… I have a half-brother.


Sybok, Jedi Santa Claus of Vulcan

Come on, THAT must have made ya laugh!

Anyway, as we look over the wild list of characters in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, we find these characters being re-acquainted:

Wadsworth and Willie Loomis

Sophia Petrillo and Mrs. Johnson

Elizabeth Stoddard and Lily Munster

Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce and Dr. Julia Hoffman

Sam Evans/Andre Dupres and Captain Daniel Gregg

As for Endora and Angelique? Of course they know each other!

Then the poor residents of Collinsport have been hooked into being stressed-out so long they’re almost addicted to it. These old acquaintances help them to remember things they’d forgotten, one of those things being how to laugh and enjoy life. (Sound like any DS fans out there?) And again, becoming a comedienne, as  I was hoisted into the massive gaggle of Dark Shadows fans with something different and all the baggage so many have been carting around for so long, using humour is likely how one could get poor Barnabas and Josette to each other in the 1960s.


Tragedy never seemed to work.

So the list of things to be grateful for:

  • An accidentally healed marriage! (HELL YEAH!)
  • Some bare knowledge that people have been laughing their heads off at my audio work.
  • A re-kindled love for The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.
  • New material from Sir Simon Milligan & Manservant Hecubus. (They deserved a new job together. 🙂 )
  • Finding people who love Thayer David.
  • Seeing Sharon Lentz’s new kitten. (DAMN, that lil’ one is cute!)
  • Finding people who actually love Barnabas Collins and see the depth of his character.
  • Devoted people who don’t believe the hype.
  • New friends who tell you their news and don’t just post memes.
  • Reaching Dark Shadows fans who don’t touch DS fan pages because they know better.
  • Bringing forth new creativity in those who have shown me kindness.
  • Pen pals who still care after all of this time wanting other news. (They now understand there really is no other news.)
  • Long talks on skype with new buddies who have the same passions.
  • Winning “Dark Shadows Memories” from an Angelique/Barnabas fan who likes Monty Python and is awesome.
  • Getting in touch with the Goth crowds again. Damn it, I’m HOME!

But the best thing of all? Many fans of Josette/Barnabas or Maggie/Barnabas, as well as those who puzzled out the reincarnation for so long. They all thought they were alone. Now? They’re meeting and sharing that love for them together. They love the marriage novel. They love seeing the two happy at last. They even love seeing the parallel between Barnabas/Josette & Gomez/Morticia. You know it’s there just from the reciprocation and how strong it is, as well as how spooky.


As well as other folks who said, “Well, yeah, Barnabas/Josette was a big duh to me, too.”

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows reaches people who normally “avoid anything smelling even remotely like fan fiction”. It’s read to them, it mixes up the things they like, it gives them the characters in recognizable patterns as well as having them let their hair down. It incorporates other shows and movies they love. (Really, who didn’t want more Wadsworth?)  It questions who we are which is a Western Civilization staple that has been extremely neglected for the last decade. And unlike certain other pairings preferences we show our virtue by saying to others, “Don’t like it? There’s plenty of what you want elsewhere. Go and have it.” But what do they do? They troll. They expound insecurities. They have fits. It almost gives one a warm glow.

I got my last troll review about a fortnight to a month ago. I threw back my head and laughed. It was honestly, truly hilarious.

So in all of these things, we have to thank someone for making the internet better, even when we’re ticked-off at malfunctions and mechanical flaws. Someone was trying to bring us all together. Now the problem is getting us to chat more about what we like, solving problems, and bringing some kind of halt to so much clutter. I’d be very grateful for that.

The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows Radio Drama & Podcast


The evils of facebook and a day of reviewing…

I’ve maintained radio silence from facebook when it kept being obvious that in all of the hard work I’d done for the past year, not to mention the previous two years before that, everyone enjoys fan art but to give a tinkers dam about who’s giving it to them is basically summed up in like-clicks and bare shreds. Meanwhile the antagonists, the bullies, blustering and oblivious rear up in their lack of depth. So, I know some people were worried about me but this is not the first time this kind of contemplation of suicide has happened to me.

To enjoy my work, download it, secretly hide that you are enjoying it and especially what you enjoyed leaves nothing else but my sifting through addictive postings of photos, memes, and looking far and wide for the people who will discuss it with me as my popularity flares and the internet vultures reign supreme. For the love of Christ, if you don’t like me, block me. Don’t enjoy my work and then expect me to live through this hell without some damn communication of enjoyment. So no more facebook for a while minus posting yet ANOTHER troll review from that obsessive stalker. This has got to be the ninth I’ve had to destroy. Go drown in a sea of Angelique/Barnabas fiction for all I care. It should at least make you feel better how damn much of it there is. Lord!

And so, the last focus of entertainment I am granted since I’ve made so many attempts to be entertained by other things and just won’t, I decided to get out my e-reader, get a notepad and review Osheen Nevoy’s “Stand Fast and Damn The Devil”. I accomplished several reviews in the last two days. What I do is read the material and write down my personal reactions as if I am viewing the program with the artist who brought us a new version of it:



Finally, I’m back on the road with Bill. My attention is riveted again. So hard to pen how good this is. Bill’s got the “My name is…” and that intro voice-over down pat! Oh dear, Ben’s giving Bill a Matthew Morgan flashback! Almost tripping over his amnesia cover-up, I am laughing here.

DANG! I can see Bill & Ben having this discussion so clearly! And the nod to Ben’s normal eyebrows. Superb! Babysitting a young Eliot Stokes. Ah, not just Interruption fiction (which is my preference) but also carefully done Expansion. *big grin*

Good way of bringing Bill back to the world he knows better in this memory of Roger & Matthew. Some might find this jarring but I like it. (Had to learn how to do it, and accept it as I create, too.) Yikes! This struggle of strangle is getting rough! Wow, ROGER to the rescue… kind of? Urg! This is harsh. I keep reading too fast because I’m all worried about Bill and I know he would want to hunt for Matthew Morgan but I’m like, “No—Roger! Get Bill to the hospital!” Oh, my gosh – “prim distaste”. That is so Roger.

(This is agony while my husband wants to go over our grocery list.) LOL! “He might have been standing in the drawing room of Collinwood with a drink in his hand.”

And Bill’s admittance of both his and Roger now shared downfall. “Give it a whirl!” LOL! Crocodile tears! SH*T! (btw: I like the sheriff switch and appreciate your notes about this.) Man, Bill’s as honest as *I* am! Givin’ Roger some dares! Excellent speech. It’s like Captain Picard but so obviously Bill Malloy.

All right, I need to remember where I left off now that my attention for reading just waned again. 😦 Hopefully I’ll get to this chapter again sooner than later. But thank you so much for giving me a reprieve from such a dreadful week. Your work is often the ONLY escapism allowed me these days when my ability to focus on something else arrives. Thank you, Osheen Nevoy, and bless you. 🙂

Daryl Wor chapter 4 . Dec 13

Back on track here. Now I understand when people like brevity in chapters. Writing reviews for big ones makes a chapter in itself. *wink* Loved Dr. Reeves tut-tutting. Roger’s confession! I can’t help but imagine a famous Louis Edmonds flub which he would brilliantly re-iterate to correct. Love Sam’s allusion to sardines. Ah, Pop. *heart* “Cool their heels.” Love so much of the retro figures of speech, Osheen. (I miss doing this in my work.)

“He sure tried to take care of me tonight.” Priceless!

Finally! Some nightgowns and bed-robes. And Bill’s tender thoughts to Elizabeth. *happy sigh* “dignity demanded”, “regal”, “calm” – excellent, my dear. Wow I am so impressed with Roger’s confession and “coughing up that old haughtiness”. Oh, no! Now Pop’s turn. This is intense and I’m with Carolyn for concern. (As she gets double the nickname action – nice touch!)

Man! After all that and Burke is hardly satisfied? (Well, it does, indeed, sound like him.) Ha ha! “You already did that.” Good one, Burke!

LOL! Love what Carter doesn’t mind saying. Oh, wow! And then Carter finishes with that! Back to the past… Yes, thankfully no ice to break in the 1795 basin. The not suppose to drink the water—You’ve got too many goodies. The rot bit was grand. All the thoughts of Morgan haunting Bill are very realistic and contemplative.

This part touches me personally right now: “We were on the same side… to help Liz. Except I tried to help her by getting people to talk to each other.” That seems to be how I feel a lot now. This remembrance of Matthew in Bill’s mind is so profound and really speaks to me.

“Maybe he could fix something. Maybe he could change something.”

And that final line is so deep and moving. As usual, Bill keeps me alert and going. Again, bless you.

crushing on Bill

chapter 5 . 22h ago

During the intro I am already so curious what will happen when Bill sees Naomi. The watch-work is a great way for Bill to keep track of when it is at “home”. A luster of thoughtfulness. Oh! Straw poking out! Poor man. Nooo… fleas. 😦 Uh-oh, chamber pot—glad he doesn’t concern himself with the details.

Time travel anti-romance. Yep, Bill. That’s Miss Winters fixation all over. Very foreign foreigner! 🙂

Yes! Better in this “when” than medieval times! Conferencing the poor laundry load. How much of Jeremiah’s aged sweat shall adorn poor Bill? LOVELY nod to Barnabas’ fashion sense. (Only a romantic would have that.)

LOL! I can see Bill’s outfit forming and I love the poke at Barnabas’ Christmas ensemble! So true! Good, no stripes, birds or flowers. *snicker* “fumbling and swearing.” Ugh! Those socks! Wretched. And the boys at the cannery if they could see him? They’d be in stitches!

Wow! The time travel understanding with the floorboard. So: “Somewhere In Time” by Ralph Matheson. What DO people eat for breakfast in 1795? A-Yup! AH! The dining room! You did it! I’m so inspired! (Bad enough planning a bloody bathtub near Josette’s room—that was a pain for me.)

LOL! Abigail versus Mrs. Johnson. Never done a days’ work in her life. (Well minus giving everyone her hot-tempered putrescence.) LOL! 12 Basic facial types! Dynamite!

Go, Uncle Jer! Kill her with kindness and THEN with WIT! Yes! “Our charming family.”

Okay, I need to skip breakfast but that scene was amazing with Bill, Jer & Abby Pooh-Pooh-Head. 😛

Daryl Wor chapter 5 . 4h ago

What a cozy and realistic discussion about Jeremiah’s hand-me-downs. This writing takes away that shiny video view to the series and is actually giving me the kind of visuals in that soft glow prominent to film in a 1990s BBC presentation like “Pride & Prejudice”. Wow, Bill’s take on the village must be similar to how Marty McFly scoped out Hill Valley in The Old West. I’ll bet Bill is feeling that seasickness going on such a long horse ride. Ah, Hemphill. At last, a non-look-alike.
Good answer on recognition, “I couldn’t swear to it.” And that sounds so natural. Love that comparison of his story to a lobster pot. Darn, no look-alike Mr. Wells, but I would have expected it, too. These names and details are incredible. (I can imagine the homework.) “Here we go again,” poor Bill.

Laughter for Bill gladly joining Uncle Jer in a rum toddy! And the discussion at the table. Mystery hangs in the balance but the terror doesn’t choke me. I love seeing Collinsport this way. (Chuckle: pinup girl for the family’s history – Glad someone finally says this of Josette.)

Yep, riding a horse in the open rain and getting sopped has little appeal. Oh, great. Angie and Nat. You can tell quickly. (“Nice to meet you, too.” Ha, ha!) “The countess and her hat” much chuckling here. Oh, no! I’ve used that sugar line before, too (in real life, that is). “free of charge”. Love it!

Dang! Her attires IS extreme, isn’t it? (Smiles for Ban Roll-On and “mystical flakes”. LOL! “fishy in no time flat.”) And him hoping she’ll focus on another tarot reading and forget about his. Uh-oh. Josh. Love “knowing it was an order and not an invitation”. Roger’s not lookin’ too bad now, eh Bill?

Phew. Poor Bill longing for Liz; all wet and in the wind. (I know the feeling.) Not the best bath but fun to watch him treating the “red shirts”/servants with a little respect to their own shock.

Ooooo! Finally; the dizziness of meeting our beloved Naomi. I got the chills reading this. Very divine and heartfelt. Thank you.

chapter 6 . 1h ago

The agony—I can feel Bill’s suffering as he drinks in Naomi: “corseted to within in a inch of her life.” No kidding. Haunting to have her in that same dress Elizabeth wore. Good save when Jeremiah inquires to how he’s doing. Oh, that turmoil not to stare at her.

“18th century Emily Post” HA HA! & “jewel encrusted Faberge eggs”. Fascinating finally seeing them share a meal together, and what a meal! Yes, the old-school massive supply of MEAT. “masterpiece of deadpan humor” or “very different definitions of piquancy”. Sadly hilarious.

I can practically hear the silence against glass, china and silverware tinkering as Bill sits awkwardly through it. SHEEZ! Got enough food!? Bill’s gonna pop and Jeremiah’s buttons shall fly at the family like shrapnel. (But, yes. This is how it would be.) Some sweet, but more meat for dessert? It IS a whole 2nd dinners worth. (Are they HOBBITS? j/k) Much laughter here: “And the sooner they finished the sooner they could get the away from each other.” Natalie’s gorging while complaining is making my cold pizza sound good “as dinner limped onward.”

Bill’s blood boiled is definitely speaking to me now. Just watching Naomi get put down by Joshua. Arg! (I’ve known Jessie’s pain and have seen it in others.)

Ugh! All that sympathizing agony, memories of brutes and now… more food… AND another table cloth. Oh, okay – this is the laxative portion of the meal; lot’s of dried fruit. Maybe all the memories of meals like this will make life as a vampire simpler for Barnabas one day. Oh, great. He’s recommending port (which is what I drink while performing his lines. Should’a known). All that and Naomi is denied her sherry?! That WOULD be the last straw. The exchange between the countess and Barnabas is VERY well done.

Uh-oh, she’s whipping out the cards and Bill is in for it anyway. I think this is where I shall take a break and come back. That was one heck of a feast, Osheen. Thanks.

bills hearts
My hearty image of Bill Malloy, that Osheen admired with the description: “adorable cheesiness”.