Pit Update: May 2017 & Retrospective

2017 May Update 1f

Thanking pen pals for helping me to heal, explaining why that is important and discussing how the happy buttons ruined upbeat discourse in people over the years.

Plenty of lively assertions in why beating around the bush about having “no time” to chit-chat is ridiculous, particularly in regards to over-use of social media. Lackadaisical listings of informational resources that have been important in creating the series which might help listeners.

Presentation of where and how The Pit discussion questions are displayed, and why they are important for this fairly cerebral programming.

Starting retrospective from Episode 1: “Parapsychology” and on through Episode 7: “The Blair Warlock Projected”, with whatever nuances I felt were fun to point out at the time of this recording, including a few perspectives via reviews, different TV show and movie introductions per episode, technical aspects and inspirations. When the Barnabas and Maggie couple suddenly mattered so much and how performing the role of Barnabas Collins changed things irrevocably.

Finally, description about this experience for you and I, along with the details of why what’s happened with misinterpretation of myself, this project, and the expectations of what the internet is, has been detrimental to all involved, and how to break free from those ideas. For listeners using social media who disavow having an addiction? Too late: You’ve got one.

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Downloadable from iTunes, as always...

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Episode 17: Intro With Lisa Weyenberg

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 Pink Floyd and The Bee Gees sing us into a major list of thank yous.

Lisa’s Interview: Her watching Dark Shadows since the age of five and beyond throughout the years. Kathleen Resch’s Concordances for Dark Shadows, and fanzines: “Inside The Old House”, “World of Dark Shadows”, “Wyndcliff Watch”, “The Music Box”, “Shadows of The Night” and how they were obtained.


When the fanwork shifted away from the original Dark Shadows program. Discussion of Lisa’s Dark Shadows fanwork, which is also relief for the characters. Reincarnation for Josette and fans of that romance with Barnabas being tongue-tied. Sharing our creation techniques. Important relevance for Kitty Soames. Reasons why Lisa’s work is not readily available online.


Other fandoms in The Pit and more. Personal reflections on the Harry Potter series, and the peer pressure to enjoy that entertainment as well as others. The fun of Lisa’s visit with us. Going through “Teen Screen” magazines. (Sorry, I keep calling it “Teen Scene”. The magazine is really called “Teen Screen”.)


All the things Lisa and I have in common in both creation and entertainment.


Summary of upcoming Episode 17 in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows.


At the tail end of this podcast there is a lecture. It’s not a rant, it is a lecture. It’s not for the haters, it’s for “nice guys” who have actually done far more harm than good. For those of you who either hate me or love me, feel free to turn the podcast off when I say the word “Farewell”.


And for all involved: understand that you have no obligation to listen to this or anything I’ve created. You have freedom of choice, and that is, and what has always been, precisely what the Internet is all about. Period.

archive.org link to Episode 17 Intro

podbay.fm link to Episode 17 Intro

podomatic link to Episode 17 Intro

Working on Lisa’s Interview and Episodes on CD

Hello everyone from various corners from the world! Well, I’m still here. I’m editing Lisa’s interview and that is super cozy and enjoyable, although cutting the superfluous sentence fragments, the “ums”, the “y’knows”, extra “ands, buts, and sos” that we don’t need should have always been the height of my problems. I enjoy the work but unfortunately there is always that dreadful reminder of the garbage labels that have been tossed at me; “writer” and that’s it, “podcaster” and that’s it. My pal Lynn picked up a better term when she heard me use “entertainer” and as a nut-shell sum-up of me that is likely best.

I got in touch with another podcaster I’d asked for help from back in 2013 via email. Leaving the carbon copy of previous emails she remembered who I was,  nodded approvingly at one of the pointers she gave in her podcast that I appreciated, which was doing things you enjoy or believe in with other people, and let me know how busy she presently is with her podcast as well as librivox books she does readings for. Wow! Didn’t know she was on the team, so to speak. Glad to hear it.

I dread returning to Facebook. It’s just so much hopelessness and a sea of confusion. I know there are many out there who use it sparingly and wisely but that’s never been what I’ve seen over all. Then there is Google Plus in which I get notifications of image after image after image being posted to the point I wonder if any of the posters or visitors remember why they even are interested in what those images represent.

One of my pen friends, that I’m still in touch with, got back into Facebook, caved-in, really and wrote this:

“Would love to hear about your 2-week abstinence plan for Facebook. So far it’s been pretty boring. I text anyone who I want to talk to.  ______ has coined the phrase ‘facebook religion’ after a day of discussing how everyone posts these religious sayings but you know [they] aren’t even slightly religious. I sometimes wonder how people have so much time to re-post stuff. Let alone, why they re-post so much. It’s as if they have ceased to have original thoughts. Which is sad because they are highly intelligent people in person.”

No kidding!

Another pen pal I chatted with had some sage things to say in regards to my quandaries, but I will stress he isn’t one for censoring himself. I told him:

“I do not understand the attraction of spending all day posting and sharing memes one doesn’t believe in. Is it like a video game for people who hate video games?”

He replied:

“It’s a c**k hobby. I prefer to actually DO things… Some people aren’t used to bold honesty.  I say it like it is. There just isn’t any other way to be for me. I think the things I watched/listened to the past several years gave me the push to be honest and not two-faced. Plus noticing how p***ified my surrounding people are just makes me want to oust them by doing better things… Better to be proactive and do instead of talk. That’s why a lot of channels/projects START and don’t PICK UP. Because there’s a lot of talk about videos they wanna do and not actually doing it.”

A third pen pal had this to express when I proposed it was the deeper thoughts I have that people can’t handle:

“I think that’s exactly why people are afraid of you, and really tend to pass people who require them to think outside the box, more deeply and have conversations of real substance as crazy. Most people can’t comprehend much anymore than sharing things on Facebook, memes that they agree with but in reality would never live up to. I think there are people who post things that have meaning to them and positive things.  That’s one thing I can understand. But what I find annoying is how girls will put up relationships quotes, and such. It’s like they base that meme of a relationship for what a relationship should be like… or they are trying to send a message to their mate to be more like the quote. (lol) Either way it’s a lack of communication.

I do think they would rather annihilate what you say than face it. It’s much easier and gives them time to save face and go back to their bubble. Requiring them to think is literally like stomping on their dreams and creating a nightmare in their minds that what they are thinking isn’t really true at all, and of course they can’t have that. (Lol)”

Well said and very true.

Pen pals have made the biggest impact for improving my life and the lives of others. I’m happy I returned to engaging in that realm further. So many were pushing more internet and more social media. Now we all have to admit the gains were low and foibles were high for promoting this project in such a fashion. Of course those that encouraged the social media are often the types who can’t stand admitting to errors. How one’s life is to improve without making mistakes is a strange concept to me. Many of the things I learned happened through watching the blunders of others both in real-life and in fiction. Nagging someone just prolongs a problem rather than solving it.

The good news is that with the enthusiasm of pen pals I am in the process of revising older episodes in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows for the CD mailings. Episodes 1 through 5 have more sound effects and added music that was missing. Also the compact disk version of the episodes provides a format that is completely disengaged from the internet and all its impending interruptions. Listeners can focus on the audio drama without having to worry about pinging notifications coming from elsewhere, or getting it to their mp3 player, etc. A couple do confess to listening on boring road trips. Traffic jams become almost non-existent as the adventures of what the characters are doing soaks in. Also the new CD’s have separate tracks per scene which makes it much easier for people to find their place if they left off somewhere.

I’ve also tweaked with some of the voice performances. Maybe somewhere along the way Carolyn Stoddard shan’t sound so much like she is on helium!

So if any of my readers have gotten the CD versions that have massive tracks? I offer an exchange. I can replace your old CD episodes for these better, newer ones and I know just what to do with the old copies. I shan’t divulge that here, though.  😉

Lisa’s interview should be done soon. The talk is wonderful and she has long-term study and Dark Shadows goodies she’s been ordering and collecting for decades. It should be a wondrous earful and infused with plenty of nostalgia for old fans.  Then I have to prepare and perform the additions to a podcast for that.

Episode 17 in The Pit is still before me wanting one more scene for the sake of its current brevity. If listeners have my email address I’d love to workshop something new. I keep thinking we need more Willie… but then again, who doesn’t need more Willie? ❤

As for Facebook, again, I’m not looking forward to returning. If I could remove the damn notifications of those pesky like-clicks it would be better. I actually miss response comments because the programming there is more about wasting time with like-clicks or what someone else “liked” somewhere else that had nothing to do with you. Bleh…

Then one meme falls in your face…. And then another one… And before you know it your perception of what a simple colour is changes, and your mental processes loop into oblivion as you vaguely wonder why the dishes have piled up so high and still aren’t cleaned yet. “Ahhh, another day is shot,” you think, “and I didn’t do diddly-squat.” But something in the human spirit needs a regular dose of going nowhere fast.

So scroll while you can, and use the passing rare real update about that rare real friend as ink-blot tests of your recovering sanity, and may all your social media goals be blissfully pointless.

Pit Update August 2016

update august 2016

 

Just me, no music. Discussion about things, hopefully, getting better, and how to keep that going. The importance of correspondence especially.

Clear reasons why I, and many others, lose their tempers. (Gets a bit loud while this is explained. Not really a rant, more an exclamation of disbelief in contradictory behaviour.) Deep appreciation for the nice people and tools for how to avoid the bummer types, too!

“Spoilers” over scenes one through five, in Episode 16, that are being worked on, as well as the intricate technical aspects that make the idea of critiquing them severely unwanted and unwarranted. (Audio Dramatists? Listen up. You’ll probably enjoy this bit.) Plenty of talk about “Hawkeye” finally being included and what’s happening in scene four with him. I’m not concerned about spoilers when it comes to this radio drama. People can barely remember what they enjoyed in all the other episodes, so why worry? winking

My old internet days, Sailor Moon, chat rooms, etc. Why fans identify with Angelique and some may not even know it.

A reading from me of Osheen’s review for Episode 7 about one year before this podcast, and my hearty enjoyment of that!

Understanding of the idea of “independence” and how much of an illusion that is.

Not included in this podcast is my suggestion here: If you are wealthy and dissatisfied with your life? Please enjoy the film “The Amazing Adventure” with Cary Grant. Thanks. You’re welcome.

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archive dot org link here

Also available on iTunes

Is The Nightmare Over Yet?

Not sure…

However, scroll down this blog for the latest interview with Osheen Nevoy if you want the new podcast. Very good and worth time for Dark Shadows fans.

Right now I’m going over the four performances I’ve done in the last two years for Dr. “Hawkeye” Pierce. Splicing them together has been grueling and continues to be, just to try and get a single scene as close to the best I can get.

Going forward in this scary life, that I have often related to be a “Science-Fiction Nightmare Made Real” as Jonah and others agree with me, the friends have finally come. And, like my adopted children, I love every single one of you and I have no desire to ever give any of you up.

Each one of you managed to approach me or reciprocate my approach to you individually. If I can manage more than the amount of characters I adore who are in this collage, I believe my heart is just as full to encompass my feelings for you.

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You matter.

 Human beings rely on each other. Human babies, in all of their helplessness, undoubtedly prove that.  (It’s one of the many, many, many reasons my husband and I decided, responsibly, never to procreate. We don’t drive. How are we going to take care of our children if we aren’t capable of driving?)

I want to assure all of my new friends that I care about you deeply beyond this project. When I listen to my thank you to Lisa in my latest podcast it drives home the point of exactly why I did all of this: I had no one to share it with. The answer? Go online. Unfortunately, by this time, going online meant becoming a narcissist. HUH? I ADORE these characters and knew with their varied communities they could help each other. I wanted to celebrate the characters, not me.

I worked hard to get all the correct and expensive equipment that I felt most people were also obtaining. Whoops. No, they were downgrading themselves to going online with only a smartphone or an iPad and that was that. I had no idea. So in my Intro To Episode 12 ? I wondered, as Ripley wondered in the film Aliens:

did IQs just drop sharply while I was away ALIENS

Sadly, the answer is… yes. Yes they did. And these people did it of their own volition. They allowed themselves to believe it was “every man for himself” and the internet was just a place to get porn or some other low-level entertainment, or to come to the internet to feel they finally had a say in how upset they were about their own lives by getting familiar with strangers and attacking them.

Is this the kind of thing most of us want to deal with when we fire up our machines and go online? I doubt it.

Long ago I was in a creative home movie. The camera faded out of black and there we all were eating dinner. My uncle turned to the camera and said:

“Oh, hi. You know, it’s nice when the family gets together on Sunday for dinner… and… enjoys their company with each other. And in this country? It’s one of the many rights that we have…”

Good so far, then he turns to my mum and says, “Oh, by the way, mother, will you pass me the gun?”

She nods, passes him the prop-gun, that just happens to be laying on our dinner table, and he says, “Thank you.”

Next my uncle looks down on it and turns to the camera, saying, “But you know? There is another right we enjoy in this country: It’s called THE RIGHT TO PRIVACY! And I don’t know why you’re coming into my home– I don’t even KNOW YOU! It really pisses me off, man!”

Then he pulls the trigger of the prop-gun and shoots the camera.

It was funny at the time, but I think I am finding a whole new meaning in that skit we did when I was less than ten years old. 😉 We got hoodwinked into believing we had to post it all online.

No. We don’t.

That’s why I am letting you know now that what many of you have been doing by emailing each other, calling each other on the telephone and writing paper letters to each other is time much better spent. The block function on a lot of websites is very important. It means you refuse to deal with someone you would rather not hear about for whatever reason. You have preferred ways of spending your time. I have even encouraged people who dislike me and what I am doing to block me. I don’t want to deal with them. If they don’t want to see what I’m doing? Great! I said in the beginning and I still say, “25 people are all I was looking for.”

Community is what I want, what my series is about, and what I feel many of you want. We’re getting close. Don’t let complaining people deter you from your goals. Also: never believe that if you hear about me discussing another beloved friend that you don’t matter. You DO matter. I talk about you with them, too! Why? Because I care about all of you. It’s the natural course of discussion. You don’t sit there worshiping the friend you’re speaking with. You shoot the breeze, and the breeze happens to encompass all the other friends you have; Easy peasy.

Facebook was originally created for college students to: 1) shoot the breeze together and 2) help each other study. I have severe doubts it will ever be remotely close to that kind of human expression ever again. This is why new versions of it don’t work either. However, it’s still usable for little things, all the while the previous forms of communication are still extremely important: letter writing, phone calls, emails, text messages, as long as it’s all personal and personable. The nightmare can be over, it can be, but not for everyone, only to those of us who stick to our guns and make sure we mainly pay attention to what is important to us. I am part of that importance but I recognize I’m not the main importance.

The loss is upon us. I was on the phone with Jonah again last night and he agreed that he’s suffered friendship losses, and that the creative source is what he needs to focus on and our understanding of maintaining that focus is the most important consideration. The new “flood” has come, many have drowned, they may never come back, but we have each other. Perhaps this was all a Providential test to see which of us is, internally, the strongest. I let him know I had this same discussion with a cashier the last time my husband and I went music shopping. The cashier also confessed to major friendship loss via social networks. The cycle is never ending in this discussion.

As for me? I want to keep going. I’ve got the next scene of Episode 16 with Hawkeye to complete, come Hell or High-water. When I get past that I’m hoping all the editing runs for more scenes go much faster and more smoothly than this one has for years.

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I was often so lost in the confusion of why no one was speaking with me until Melissa came along and posted her commentary to the first episode in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows.

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I reached out and asked Melissa, “How did you do that?”

She said, casually, “There was a comment box. I expressed what I enjoyed, naturally.”

And that’s when I knew I had every right to be completely baffled by the behaviour of discussion-avoidance all of these years. Melissa did the discussion automatically and expressed, “It’s natural.” I always knew it was, it always was to me about entertainment, but I was argued with about that for three years. (Might you have been one of the many people arguing with me about that? I’ve told you to stop feeling guilty about it. Do I have to tell you again?)

Is the Nightmare over yet? Only if we allow ourselves to withdraw from it. Other forms of communication are not only possible, they’ve been with us much longer. Paper letters, email, phone calls. Social networks are secondary. Maybe a lot of great things happened due to them, but when one starts relying on them solely? You’re lost.

I’ve always looked at podcasting the same as broadcasting except with a Tivo function: you can rewind and replay it whenever you like. Once upon a time it was only magnetic strips in cassette cartridges we recorded that allowed that. It’s not that way anymore.

So what is there to choose? Really communicating on a one-to-one basis, or scrolling through a newsfeed and like-clicking your life away?

I know which way I’m choosing. 🙂

Episode 16: Intro With Osheen Nevoy

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The Brady Bunch sings us into a major list of thank yous.

From Dark Shadows to The Addams Family to fandom politics to real friendship to who this series was put online for, and the people who listen damn well ought to figure that out!

Bits of thanks yous to cast members and bare shred mentions about The 50th DS Festival… Social Network warnings, etc. Adventures from tumblr… New friends, Old friends…

Osheen’s interview comes and a whole lot from that! (Of course!)Bill, Gerard, Dark Shadows and then? The WORLD!

How we dined after the interview.

Upcoming scenes in Episode 16 of The Pit.

Messages for listeners of what to do to get back in touch with their entertainers, but more importantly how to get back in touch with ourselves again after the horrid addiction to this new technology.

Download links:

archive.org link to Episode 16 Intro

podbay.fm link to Episode 16 Intro

podomatic link to Episode 16 Intro

(New) google-play link to Episode 16 Intro

Also available at iTunes.

 

The Shock Has Finally Arrived

I wanted to make this blog post for my readers who care and are concerned.

It just hit me this morning. Came out of almost nowhere but there was a trigger. I was telling a new person I’ve met for the second time about how much things have changed due to the new technology.

My companion told me it’s gotten so bad people are being lured into unsafe situations with a virtual game they will play on their phones, a hide and seek type game. They hunt virtual objects in the physical world.

Once upon a time, and it sure wasn’t that long ago, we were all so angry about people shouting their cel phone conversations in public. And now, gradually, but still feeling as if it was over night, most people are locked into their little smartphone screens, so much so they do this while walking, while driving and I’ve even seen someone do this on a skateboard. (Thankfully not so much with bicycle riders. *knock on wood* ) They don’t often use those phones to talk to people verbally.

Then I expressed how this epidemic was like a flood; it altered the social-landscape so drastically that a flood is a wonderful metaphor for what’s happened to almost all of us.

All of a sudden I worried about things I’d done the night before that perhaps I hadn’t remembered. Something out of my control that I had already assured myself by doing some back pedaling after I woke up. Then a feeling of anxiety hit me. It felt like an anxiety attack. I wasn’t sure.

I was working on editing Osheen’s interview for the Intro To Episode 16 last night. I thought of calling others and tried but she was the first person I reached. We only had about ten minutes but it was important to talk to her and thank her for being a friend, a real one, a human one.

Then I got in touch with another friend and we talked for hours. I finally figured out what was happening.

I am in shock.

Of all the stages of grief; I’ve ranted, raved, cried, felt angry, bargained, and now I’m deleting contacts from my mobile phone. I give them one or two weeks but if my voice mails aren’t answered I come to realize, for all intents and purposes, these friendships are gone. Gone from the new addictions in technology, gone from my social life but never from my heart. The people themselves are all alive and likely fair in health, but other wise the friendships are dead.

New ones have happened, thank Heavens, thank everything good. And this post is also to thank those people again if they see this.

I will hopefully express this more in the coming podcast and how we can help to heal, as I’m very aware I’m not the only person suffering through this loss. It’s a world wide epidemic. It’s not just me going through it, and as you probably know I care about a lot of people. I care deeply about their health and well-being, however different they are from me I always try to find what will best suit that individual for their needs.

This is likely why the fandom politics got as bad as it got for my arrival in the Dark Shadows world. There are so many people who are lonely and feel neglected, but somehow believing this state of affairs and disconnect is natural for us. Of course they’re going to be argumentative and bashing if that’s most of what they’re exposed to, sadly. I sure wouldn’t have barked back if I didn’t feel so hurt too.

One thing that is very important, and terrifyingly so, is many people are communicating inefficiently most of the time, especially now, but we’re doing it because we all have a very vital human need: each other. We need those of like-mind, we need companionship, we need social stimulus. Some people need it so bad they will attend restaurants just to chew out and swear at the staff. They’ll get it in unhealthy ways if they can’t get it in healthy ways. I’ve done that too. I was so desperate to get any discussion I even dealt with people I would never talk to or trust otherwise. Thankfully things are better enough that that has changed, but that’s how bad it got and I knew it.

I had shock for not getting the discussion, for the troubles that my work got so much silence.

I hadn’t had the shock for the friendship loss, for losing so many people so quickly, people I knew for decades, people who hated mobile phones when they came into prominence.

Even my mother told me, “You know I remember when we got answering machines and it made us crabby. We wanted to talk to a real person. Not too soon after we only wanted to talk to the machine. We didn’t want a live person anymore.” Boy! I sure remember that! (Currently I’m a little of column A and a little of column B.)

Still, it’s here. It’s real. In fact I’ve even made new friends solely because of this epidemic that’s plaguing us as a race. The name Morlock (Rising) that I use is a metaphor, not just for The Time Machine’s future by H. G. Wells, but what would happen to us. It was tongue-in-cheek. Now it’s ironically, vividly, and physically taking place.

I am hoping for change for the better. But this is part of my grief cycle. I hope it isn’t going to go on too long. It’s very painful and I feel like I want to throw-up.

Please be well, everyone. Take care of yourselves, tell your loved ones how much you love them. That’s what I’m likely doing as you read this.

And thank you, Written In Blood. You’re there for me and you were there for me when almost no one else was. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. (Hope you read this!)