“House of Dark Shadows” Saves The Day

I’ve just responded to one of the best letters I’ve received in years. I hope my new friend doesn’t mind if I discuss that here on WP. I was sure she was going to indulge in my own work better by watching the 2012 “Dark Shadows” film to get familiar with those characters. However, the contents of her letter showed that instead she viewed “House of Dark Shadows” from 1970! Oh, dear! It didn’t go down well, for which I am incredibly grateful!

 
Does this sound confusing to anyone? If so it’s because the strong memories of life in the 20th Century might be gone for you. They are not for us.

 
My friend loves movies of all sorts, but is also an admitted film-snob in certain regards: fun regards! Regards in which I delight hearing about. This is a world Joel Hodgson of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” found a way to share with many of us who understood, in a story-format that entailed coercion rather than choosing to view B-grade movies. (Mad scientists were making them watch the movies. They were not viewed on The Satellite of Love by choice, so it was less cruel to heckle openly in such a setting.)

 
With my new friend, her reaction to “House of Dark Shadows” was, well, to endure it. Hee hee hee! I feel blessed to read the words of her gazing into this world that makes more sense to myself as a viewer of the television show “Dark Shadows”. Also it was apologetic as if I prize this movie as one of the finest, which to me it is not. I love it, but I love it for other reasons.

 
Still, I wanted to express myself as being incredibly happy with this turn of events. Our exchange on this topic is stepping back into a world many of us knew before 2013. Movies exist to entertain us, whether they be our favourites or not. It’s for some of us to share in the delight or the “oh dear” together. They didn’t range into the ghastly realms of hate-speak or sacrilege to enjoy. They were our bonus stories to choose somewhere in our day when we were not working. Leisure in moving pictures and sound. How we took to them depending on who we were, our personalities, not the amount of “likes” we would garner for saying something outlandish or extreme.

 
I love this world. I grew up in this world in which things could be exciting or pleasurable in fiction. Analyzing the special effects was just a little something we did when the story seemed to go on a long time without dialogue. Sometimes we’d be argued with about our favourites but it didn’t get too heated most of the time. If someone wanted to get long-winded about why they disliked a film and we didn’t care, we’d open a book and wait for them to get it out of their system.

 
In the 1980’s Frank Oz once admitted, “When I get out of the theater I look around and ask, ‘Ok, what’s for dinner?’ I’m just like anybody else…” and then went on to describe a film he helped to create that really touched him and why. But that it was his experience, really, in the creation, so it would make sense he would want to discuss how important it was to him. He didn’t expect it to be of vital importance to every other last movie goer in the world.

 


 

When listeners hear my gratitude to pen friends in my podcasts it is no joke. I truly am grateful. Whatever we’ve paid so much money to become entangled with online is a far cry from what I would choose for myself. I’m happy to be less known, less hated, less put-upon, and spend my time with people of like-mind and interests.

 
Some new friends in this decade have asked me, “Are you famous?” and I’ve answered, “Maybe a bit…” But to another new friend I made in the last half decade, I expressed, “I might be more infamous…” and she smiled, “I think I like that more.”

 
As the ghost of Sarah Collins tells Maggie in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, “Oh, it should turn out all right if you keep your wits about you.”

 

I feel … as though … said “wits” have been found. ❤

 

(((knock on wood)))

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Pit Update: August 2017 & Retrospective

2017 August F

 

Study encouragement for The Addams Family, lining things up for Pit Episode 18 in script, wonderful results from pen pals and confusing results from online bystanders. Suggestion of postage stamps if one desires to send a gift. The repercussions of our implicit trust in “Mommy Internet”.

 
Retrospective via Milligan and Hecubus, Sam and Barnabas, gift of lingerie joke for Helena, Dr. Hoffman and Prof. Stokes romance, Clue-like scene in Hoffman’s office, Barnabas and Maggie’s romance.

 
Deep consideration of Willie Loomis’ character overall and his personal challenges between Dark Shadows and The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows.

 
The reasons for variations of Dark Shadows soundtracks in the confrontation scene between Willie and Barnabas, the challenge of the scene and the shock in how it came into being.

 
My favourite scene, thus far, in the whole series: Roger and Elizabeth opening the mail and discussing their supernatural relations in a down-to-earth fashion.

 
All the key points of importance in the final scene of Episode 14 with Wadsworth and Willie, reflections of Dark Shadows, modern life, storytelling, and our interconnection to each other.

 
Where to go from here: pride in new pen friends, encouragement to youth, invitation for more personal contact, and the reflection of Willie Loomis’ heroism reaching to his refusal to remain a bystander.

Theme for this podcast: “Paranya” by Silenzium (2011)

archive.org link

podomatic link

podbay link

Downloadable from iTunes, as always…

Episode 15, Editing… One Step At A Time

Might as well make another blog entry about how time consuming this creation is for people who probably listen with total aloofness. (I can only speculate on this since barely anyone will talk to me about it.) Why am I so cranky? Well I tend to only get to talk to people who let me down or say cruel things. When I get the rare feedback I’m often told I’ve been doing “professional” work as far as sound-quality, acting, writing, etc. But I’m not getting paid. So for me to mostly deal with invalidation while doing what is often quoted as professional work? Yep! You’re going to get someone who is major peeved most of the time.

My husband left off at episode 11 part two a number of weeks ago so this last weekend we listened to Episode 12, “Dark Therapy” together. He kept pinching bits and fragments of refuse off of the carpet to put into the garbage with a nit-picky nervousness. I just thought, “Hell… if this is what people do when they listen to the audio? Get out a note book and stare at it while you listen, and then write down some comments to send me. Better than getting all antsy.” I thought of this especially when he got up during the episode to peruse the kitchen and then calling out heckles at Tom Jennings. Dude! Save the heckles for Tom Jennings to put in the comment boxes!

DONNIE

Moving around all of that crap in Caleb’s House? Tom Jennings would enjoy receiving your heckles.

So today and yesterday, between fits of temper, I managed to enjoy the hilarious antics of Nicholas Blair and Vampire Angelique playing gin-rummy. I said we wanted to find a redemption for her we could digest, yes? Well, it’s slow going but right now she’s whipping Blair’s butt at gin-rummy and has just won seven games of it in a row. She’s also trying to remember who the hell was talking to her (,it was the ghost of Jeremiah,) when she was dead and what the point of it was. Good Girl!

If this didn’t bust me up so much it would be much harder to edit and get done. I remember doing a performance of this scene for my husband and we pretty much “wet-’em”. Then I’m splicing in lines for Barnabas which are at a higher pitch in performance to try and get Jonathan Frid’s voice more accurate. I really like this change. The Roger lines I’m cringing to pick. Yes, Louis Edmonds would more likely inflect this word in this manner but it’s sooooo hard to let go of the old demo version!

“Cassandra? Really? Seriously? BLONDE?

It was quite husky in the demo which is funnier but not how Roger would say it, so I had to accept the alteration.

I also re-performed Lily Munster’s lines to make them less high-pitched and more accurate to Yvonne DeCarlo’s performance of her. It seems the most difficult thing to decide on when multiple female characters are in the same scene and making sure they’re different enough. I am a woman. My voice is a variance of androgyny, and it really is the female voices that are harder for me. But I hopefully did well on this scene between Lily Dracula Munster and Vampire Angelique.

clean

Lily thought she sensed a kindred vampire around… nope. Vampire Angelique is a bit different, so she’s having a little “chat” with her. 😉

Thank God! The sound effects for this scene are already placed in there from earlier. Oh goodie! Now time to splice in some Roger lines. I remember asking Osheen if she knew enough about Roger and Elizabeth’s parents to get this scene authentic. Osheen expressed her knowledge of their parents and said this scene would work for authenticity. Yay! So here is what Roger Collins deduces about their cousin Lily…

roger

“Hmmnnn… Mother really should have told us more about her side of the family… but then… she did always say that it was complicated. And if it’s more complicated than our lives have been, I don’t blame her for not trying to explain it.”


Not sure if I’ll keep going today. Wish I had some correspondence to attend to, but that’s the update for Episode 15, “A Blundering Succubus”.

Peace.

The Promise of What Praise Can Do: “Margaret Josette Dupres (A Novel)” [Note8]

I rather wish I’d titled this correspondence or insight, but I suppose praise is fairly accurate. You know what is scary? More and more people have snuck me little tid bits of what they’ve had to endure in all of this waiting. Almost every Maggie or Josette fan for Barnabas wanted the reincarnation. Several didn’t do it or tried and then couldn’t identify to how that experience would avail itself. Here’s where I step in. Not only have I explored many fictional characters and blended my psyche with theirs, I’ve also studied reincarnation a great deal and for this project I did two years of heavy study into it. With channeling so much, taking what my cousin suggested, “Be them at 85% but keep %15 percent of yourself so that you can come back to reality.” Little did she realize I was doing that automatically, but it’s good advice.

Sadly, it doesn’t come into the realm of blasted audio editing. I barely got a scrap of that done for Episode 15 today. A needed phone call, sun hitting the screen, whatever distractions drive me batty, but thankfully I posted some original work for fun on fictionpress and have received the great commentary from my new buddies. ❤ I love me some new buddies, kindred spirits. That’s what I’m all about. ❤

View my Bloody Mary tale here


Now onto the happier things.

Hmm… this is fascinating. Chapter 16 of “Margaret Josette Dupres” is the altered poem by Edgar Allan Poe. I just went to find a link for that to place here to show the difference, but as I did I found an old book on gutenberg.org from 1903 about a friend named Annabel Lee. In fact it’s the title of the book by what looks to be a Canadian author. Ah, so many darn books and so little time. I hope I remember this one. A passage of it speaks to me deeply:

XXII
THE MESSAGE OF A TENDER SOUL

“THE MESSAGE of a tender soul,” said my friend Annabel Lee, “is a thing that will go far, oh, so far, and lose nothing of itself.

“When all things in the world are counted the beautiful things are in the greatest numbers. And when all the things in the world are counted the message of a tender soul counts greatly more than many.
“A tender soul receives back no gratitude for its message, and looks for no gratitude, and does not know what gratitude means. And the tenderness of the message is all unmade and all unknown, but is felt for long, long years.

–Mary MacLane

This goes on for some time. But therein lies the truth of what I’m looking for in “reviews”, “commentary”, and correspondence. (Mind you, it has to be written by the person. Memes don’t count. 😉 )

I wasn’t sure how well I’d altered the poem of Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe as far as things like meter and form, but getting to that which was similar in the conception of Lolita with her first incarnation, Annabel, by Nabokov. What Poe described in this loss and the “kingdom by the sea”, and watching the growth of Barnabas and Josette reaching each other through her reincarnation, the pieces truly fell into place one day. As I express in a podcast, “We all deserve respite from evil and it is this constant that is worth pursuing towards a permanent and enduring peace.” — Michael Nesmith.

For me, with my sour and abusive history, I looked for spooky, but I also looked for what would enlightened in fiction. Whatever media entertainment might throw at us isn’t what I’m interested in and I feel it’s deeply important for each of us to understand ourselves rather than giving in to any kind of peer-pressure, asking oneself questions to find their own deeper meaning. What do I like and why do I like it? (I’d add “what do I hate”, but I think we’ve all been doing that too long and too plentifully.)

But of this taboo: reincarnation… I dunno, I’d think some forms of vampirism are likely worse, so some of us reach for more down-to-earth styles of it. But here is the tale awaited for decades with Barnabas and Josette, they struggle for nearly two-hundred years and then finally?

We’ve found one another, and here she is mine,

Reborn to me now,

dare I question how?

I don’t, I can not care any less

For our love is sublime

And we have all the time

To enjoy ourselves, ah, I am blessed

As the ocean waves roll

and the rocks take their toll

I turn away from them and what do I see?

Forever, my bliss

The fair woman I missed.

The Beautiful ANNABEL LEE.


Since I was using Nabokov for inspiration on this novel I went back to one of his own inspirations, fitting for a gothic story, Edgar Allen Poe. I thought over the poem and saw so many elements that touched this story too.

So in this strange way, again that number three, all these relationships might have peace.

Barnabas has his Josette in Maggie.

Perhaps a redeemed and better Humbert has a loving, willing (& older) Lolita, not necessarily Dolores Haze.

And Edgar Allen Poe may have his Annabel Lee. (Who was named the first incarnation of Lolita.)


This is not the end of the story, there is a great more to come, both in healing, passion and love.

541477_426254260804484_2056246162_n

Helena  chapter 16 . 
That was soothing for this occasion. I am not a big fan of poetry (although I appreciate some), but this version of “Annabel Lee” for Barnabas and Josette was fitting. You did well on this Daryl, and I’m looking forward to the aftermath (mostly positive) of this chapter in their relationship. 🙂

Yay! Thank you. I wasn’t sure where to put that darn poem in the rough cut and then when I had to re-live the Healing chapters, I knew it was time. ❤

Helena, you’re likely the only one to review the poem because I grabbed a smooching shot of Barnabas and Maggie with the text of the poem, as well as the link and splashed the post of it all over the DS group pages. It was sort of, “At last! I’m done with the horror! YES!” spell of relief.

Uh-oh, this next chpater got rather intense… in fact… um… it’s likely the chapter that people go back to the most often. I remember I asked on facebook, “Everyone keeps hitting the sex-on-the-floor chapter. Can folks please go back and review it to tell me what they enjoyed about it?” A few like-clicks ensued… which could mean anything! Of course Osheen was the kicker with the question, “Okay, which one is the the sex-on-the-floor chapter?” Still, it didn’t garner me anymore reviews as to why people keep returning to it. My theory is it’s Barnabas in the more “masterful” view most people likely write him in. I just figured at this point our reincarnated Josette was simply wiped out from taking the initiative all the time.

Going back to when this was during my troubled rough-draft “I-don’t-understand-what’s-happening-to-me” phase as I couldn’t find any fans of this pairing at the time since they’d all given up even looking for it, I asked a few friends for help. As it so happens some of your best friends of many years can be just as lazy at commenting on what they like as everyone else who enjoys it ten times as much. I just figured they weren’t reading it at all. Well one friend came to visit and I showed her a  few chapters. She nodded to say she’d read them. “Um, and you didn’t put down a review?” This was after she was complaining right along with me of the laziness of people online. Oopsie!

I told her, “Well I tried to get ‘The Boys’ into it. [Meaning the artsy fellows we know who press and distribute zines and underground comics and have for decades.] I’d been shouting out, ‘Come on, guys! Help me out here! Say something! Say anything! Be dirty! Say you got a boner! I don’t care!'”

After our rare visit together she went home, and later that night I found an odd delight in the review pile of the original draft for this chapter:

Guest

I adore the words you use. It gives such luxury and great detail to your story. I’m rather bashful to say I had a dirty grin while reading this one. *cough*ladyboner*cough* Thank you.

Hmm… was this the friend who just visited or was it Nikki? Hmm… Well, knowing me I can hardly get a hold of any old friends or loved ones much in the last two years. I asked around and got nothing but people who wanted to claim this odd phrase.

Time passed, the work was taken down for the re-write. When I got to this chapter it was decided to throw in the shout-out:

“Okay, the LAST time this was posted SOMEONE reviewed with the phrase *ladyboner*. Was that YOU, Nikki? Everyone I’ve asked wishes they *could *claim that phrase! Nikki, if that was you, you better sign in to FF dot net and say so or I’m going to be ringing your cel phone until the battery dies!”

And then:

nikwil chapter 17 . May 4, 2014
It wasn’t me! It must have been the one armed man!..or Mark!

hilairous sticker

Could a Dark Shadows project get more hilarious?

Okay, it was likely the gal who came to visit and then went home after confessing she recognized the chapters I was showing her…

Hee, hee, hee, moving on…

Chapter 17: To Love, To Speak, To Name

Josette is preparing for a romantic evening at The Old House while the staff are away and has set up an area with cushions and blankets in front of the main room fire. I still feel some of what she talks about is roughly out of character, but again, much of the original draft was created giving Maggie the fast-track on what being this reincarnation of her and Kitty Soames would be like. (I’m still hoping to explore that better in the radio drama along with everything else.)

Eventually the man of the house wanders in and gets the drift of what this means. What his mood is or how he would become masterful so swiftly? Well, maybe I’ll need another re-write. For now let’s just say he locked the door saw the scene she laid out and thought, “Mmm-hmm!

Helena chapter 17 
You already know what’s coming, Daryl…*cough* LADYBONER! LOL! This chapter had my imagination and desire to see JF’s half-naked pics again 😀 Wadsworth and Willie POSSIBLY at the strip club? I hope they have plenty of cash for the lovely dancers 😉 And Josette/Maggie referring to Angelique as an “old friend”? I’m curious to how she will reach out to her “former” nemesis. Hmm…Loved it, Daryl 😉

Ah, yes, there was that mention of Angelique. Still working on her redemption and likely seeing it somewhere in 1897 for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. That’s the thing about Josette and Angelique, they were friends, so as bad as Barnabas got Angelique’s foul treatment, Josette getting maligned after being so warm to her really is a major component in creating a relief series. We also get to hear some love for Jonathan Frid’s winning charm, however much he wondered why on Earth everyone wanted to have sex with his character. But the thing about folks who dig this pairing is they are very often sweethearts with the adoration of, “Hey, Barnabas happy? Why not? He does look rather lovingly at this woman. It sure is turning me on!”

HOLY CRAP

Agreed. ❤

myhrr chapter 17 
Beautifully written!

Sandra chapter 17 
Very nice, Daryl :-). Love the romance and depth of love.

Thank you, thank you! Some of the words he was telling her was giving me the chills considering what was happening.

odiness chapter 17 
THIS is the most eloquently written, highbrow, classy porn I have ever read! lol 🙂

Oh, hey, another pal I rarely hear from, at least I think that’s who this is. Groovy, and fitting. And I do appreciate a number of these great smiles, especially considering that the trolls were about to come in droves, which I’ll save for a separate entry. I have a stack of about 20-30 troll reviews for this work. What the point of that is, beyond wasting time, is rather lost on me, but anonymous troll reviews have been expected for this marriage story for decades which is why no one put it together before nor posted it online to easily find.

You’ve heard my Roger performance, right? All the other words that come out of all the other characters? I’m hardly doing all of this on my own. What my adopted kids want I try to find their way to achieve but I let them speak. A three-in-one woman is a difficult undertaking which is why I’m having trouble with it, but then again, who else has done that with Josette Dupres and Kitty Soames as Maggie Evans?

triple incarnation of josette

Intro to Episode 14 Is Completed…

Took a lot of work to shave off so much but yes it’s rather lengthy anyway.

Pat Benatar greets us in this understanding of being young, vital, and disenfranchised from the DS universe as far as romantic pairings go. (What a can of worms!)

We also delve into what the heck happens when this actor/writer/comedienne gets her darn commentary. We shall listen in this intro.

Another workshop with “Daryl’s Husband” in which we come to understand the occupational choices this married couple has made and benefited from.

Then we have the explanation of what comes up in Episode 14, should the audience choose to express what they enjoy about the previous thirteen episodes. And I believe I edited out that weirdness at the end from New Years Eve. It’s just the song now.

Peace and long life,
Live long and prosper…

Episode 14 Intro

Simpler Download of Intro

And more help from Steve for the photo:

episode 14 intro

Creating The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. (Yes, it’s a pain in the arse.)

Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows logo

Now that the genesis of this project has been squared away there is a ton of hard work coming into unravel a complex series like Dark Shadows. On to how the bonus characters fit in as well. I’d wanted to put something together like this mixture since I was little anyway, here is the perfect platform. 

There is a Star Trek fiction online called “Star Tricked: The Next Perpetration.” It’s in radio script and tends to get rather vulgar but is quite funny none the less. My cousin found it and did the performing himself with music and sound effects only using cassettes I could lend him. Sadly some of the best material is taped over to re-use the cassettes. This is also a multi-fandom story which incorporated OS Star Trek, Next Generation characters, Star Wars characters, Lost In Space characters and almost anything in the realms of outer space. Hilarious. Hence the best way to fit in so much? Use radio format. Perhaps hosts can explain scene switches, so who do we use?

Sir Simon Milligan and Manservant Hecubus from The Pit of Ultimate Darkness skits via Kids In The Hall. They’re spooky and goofy and can use updated slang.

1954 and a character at a place called Hill House off of route 41: Wadsworth.  Well, either Miss Scarlet did it or Mrs. Peacock did. Either way it doesn’t matter. The third ending of Clue didn’t make sense to me. Willie Loomis is at Wyndcliff so perhaps Barnabas could get it into his head to find a nicer way of hiring a replacement without all of the stress. Put out an ad and see what happens. I’ve likely watched the film “Clue” fifty times. I also looked around and found most of the movie script in PDF format. I’ve written down more for future references to the film.

The parapsychologist group from Poltergeist? Whoops wrong time period, but whatever. This show has time-travel, right? Still, I did request a 1960’s sports score for Ryan to express: “The Jets just beat the Colts 16 to 7!” Slimer and the Ghostbusters? Wrong time period again but with Wadsworth around one never knows what the heck is going on other than him. Slimer seemed a prime candidate to give David Collins some mischief and rifle through the Collinwood kitchen. Poor Mrs. Johnson. For Sir Simon Milligan’s joke, “Little do they notice the hulking van that’s sped in the other direction, nor the 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor following close behind it bearing the license plate: Ecto-1. It has often been suggested to me that citizens of Collinsport have no peripheral vision.”

Yes, I did the research on the Ghostbusters famous automobile.

Victoria Winters trip back from 1795? There ain’t no WAY I’m gonna reformulate that without references to “The Time Machine”, which I’ve watched about fifty times, too, as well as in repertoire theaters. Hey, we got a 1960’s thing going on now. Let’s keep it that way.

Willie isn’t around to give Maggie the earrings so Wadsworth does it instead, but his intention is to bring out that past life memory with a trigger of something Josette had that hadn’t been involved in Maggie’s kidnapping. 

The Golden Girls? I’ve watched it like crazy and there is that reference to it on The Kids In The Hall. A 1960’s younger Sophia can hang out with Mrs. Johnson and take Adam home with her to Brooklyn. Sophia does curses, she’s pretty dark in her own little way. Whoops, a little more of the modern with “Twin Peaks”, bah, Victoria can time-travel, no big deal. Throw in a Lara Parker/Laura Palmer joke. The gist of this is to let Victoria and Peter escape Colllinsport only to find all these other places to be just as bad if not worse.

The Dream Curse? Who’s going to handle that? Ah, Freddy Krueger, Mr. Dream-Curse himself. Did the research on him, too. Apparently it WAS cats claws that inspired his bladed-glove! So a previous life as Mrs. Johnson’s cat? Okie dokie.

What author’s work could Roger be reading to get over Cassandra? Okay, Mr. Fix-It Dale Carnegie. That’s old and well-known.

And the BIG need for this: Saving Sam Evans. Well, I stumbled on this one as the 2012 movie came out and everyone went BERZERK over it in multiple different ways. It gave me a version I liked considering Josette came back as a reincarnation which was what I was doing already. Ah, they saw what I saw. Well, that’s a comfort. (Another is people have been so angry at it any pairings bullying missed me because everyone’s been too busy harping on it. Nice distraction.)

But Sam… Oh… what can I do? I don’t know why but I decided to look at “The Ghost & Mrs. Muir” television program. WOW! This is pretty good! Oh, I know the lady who plays Martha! Wow. SAY, a portrait of The Captain, little kids with sticky fingers, Sam is a painter and Angelique’s portrait is why Sam gets hurt, SWITCH THE PORTRAITS! Tony & Carolyn can go on a date to Schooner Bay. HURRAY!

Meanwhile Wadsworth can make that weirder by letting out his Frank N Furter side. Okay, get the lyrics. How’s that going to go down?

Hilariously!

Research on Josette’s music box tune. Who wrote it? Hmm, there were two versions? WOW! One was used on The Prisoner TV Show? The episode is “Dance of The Dead”. Let’s throw in a dream about that for Barnabas Collins. Hmm, was Folgers coffee around back then? Yep. (I wonder if it really is “Mountain Grown” or is that just a fancy trademark now?) Crap, when did Captain Gregg die? Shoot! How does he know Andre Dupres? Oh, okay as a ghost. Excellent.

Norman Bates… *sigh* not a lot of stuff on wikipedia, let’s try IMDB. Okay, the town is Fairvale and it is in California, as are The Addams Family from what I can find. All right, as soon as Victoria and Peter hang out with The Addams Family long enough they’ll freak out and run from there, too… wait… no. The Addams Family are actually nice. And they’re helpful, too! HEY! Good spot for Victoria to get help finding out about her past! SWEETNESS! And maybe Peter Bradford can get help being Peter Bradford in name officially and not yucky Jeff Clark! Those Addams’ have gobs of money.

Here comes Nicholas Blair and what we’ve all been waiting for: slamming the door in his mustachioed face! Tony & Carolyn’s romance will put a hard to conceal smile on Elizabeth’s face recalling an old paramour she had. But who went with her on this trip in which she might have given birth to Miss Winters? Research and watch a ton of The Munsters. Bleh, not another Herman being doofus episode… Ah… Lily… Mmm… and they do chemistry and inventing in that house. Lily could easily be a cousin that experimented with her looks once upon a time. Now when was Victoria Winters born? Ah, right around World War II. So who could our Mystery Man be? A soldier…That would separate the lovers, wouldn’t it? ^_^

*Sigh* This is a long wait for poor Willie. That nut-house could get uninteresting. What could he spend his time doing? Learning calligraphy. And who would encourage him with that? The ever helpful Professor Stokes, which gives him and Dr. Julia Hoffman some time to spend together. 

Ugh… The Blue Whale’s shortage of tunes on the jukebox… oh HEY! Why am I thinking of “Sleepwalk” by Santo & Johnny? Because it’s similar! No vocals! Same time period! Groovy! Hmm, how long ago did they use car radios for the audio at Drive-In movie theaters? Looked that up, yep that long ago. Now which dumb surf-picture do Tony & Carolyn go to? Hey! What’s this “Monterey Pop” movie? Ooo… close to the same year, but… screw it! *I* want to go to a Drive-In and make out to this movie! Perfect for a date! 

Now where is some damning evidence that Maggie is Josette? Ugh, what kind of cargo did people use in 1795? Okay, what sailing routes did they take from Martinique to Maine? Go with The Dominica Channel. Phew… how many reincarnation documentaries and articles do I need to go through? 

Hey, Caleb Collins? What’s up? Hmm, died in 1872 and was a hording recluse let’s look at the older story lines of Dark Shadows and see what you were hiding out from-GOOD NIGHT, IRENE! Yowza. Okay, fair enough. You’re likely ticked-off as hell at living and being a ghost through all of this mess! Jiminy Christmas! 

Now why did Sarah’s ghost leave? Because Barnabas wasn’t being good. Well, he is now. She can come back. Why not?

I doubt Dr. Watson would claim this was all absurdly simple, but if he did Sherlock Holmes would scoff, “Everything is absurdly simple once it’s been explained.”

And this is just the TEXT version I’m talking about, not the audio and podcast which is an even bigger and more expensive pain.

And dang, this Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is funny! Hmm… so why aren’t people laughing? I have no evidence that they are. After all of this hard work? What’s the problem?

Crap… the romantic pairingsUGH! Look at all of this side-taking and bullying toward nice folks who would enjoy this. They’ve all been silenced by that and the way the internet comes to them to not be communicative over enjoyment. 

Now I have these other people arguing with me about the pairings since they couldn’t be arsed to listen to the intros and see where it was obviously going. So not only is all this hard work to find my people put into a state of horror, the manipulative people are coming out and saying negative crap.

Swell… 

THIS BITES!

original

The Halloween DJ is… ALIVE… but… may not be able to help. :(

21 July 2014 at 22:00

On Saturday…  Daryl Wor <xoiscythe@hotmail.com> wrote:
 Hey Casper, I have been looking for you all over the web. I hope you’re okay. I tried your old email account. Then I couldn’t find your home address. I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t live there anymore. But I found this email address on an old invite you sent when I was looking for your home address. I have been working my tail off trying to engage college DJs and even though you likely don’t DJ anymore I thought you might at least know someone. We still have no car and it’s been such a rough year. I’ve been producing a radio series online and it’s got spooky characters galore and tons of humour, thousands of downloads but barely any response. My husband and I have spent thousands on this thing but without listener participation it has lead me into some of the darkest realms and rages of temper in my entire life. I pray you’re all right. Please help. Daryl

Date: Monday… Subject: “Re: Casper? Please tell me you’re not truly a ghost now…” Hey Daryl! I’m sorry I’ve been so hard to track down lately! I’m not on any social networks these days and without making any official announcement, I’ve gradually shifted over to this email out of frustration with the other. I’ve been really busy lately and behind on just about everything… thanks for reaching out. Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time. What’s this new project all about? Hmm, I’m not really sure if I can help. I don’t DJ anymore, except maybe once a year… there’s one fellow at the station that usually invites me back to do a show in October. Other than that I’m pretty out of touch with college radio and to be honest, quite disillusioned! But feel free to tell me more about what you have in mind. Happy Haunting and be sure to say hi to your husband, Casper

CASPER! (Yes. I literally screamed!) Hallelujah I hope! Oh my gosh. I almost sent you one the postcards I made for this project but I lost your old address in my bag. Bah… probably not where you are now anyway. I applaud you for staying off social network sites. They’ve been eating me alive. (Still no car.) Not only that, the fans of my base work have eaten me alive in the last 10 months. They get my product but most refuse to discuss it with me, many unfamiliar names simply like-click. GAH! I need younger people. Now how to describe this fright of frights we’ve parboiled in. Imagine… if you will… almost all the 1960’s spooks coming together, or sending help from afar… That is, these folks:

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Morticia and Gomez Addams

Yvonne_DeCarlo_2

 Lily Munster 

Captain Daniel Gregg

 Captain Daniel Gregg

MBDCLUE EC004


 Wadsworth from Clue (yes 1985, but he’s from 1954 and reached over)

And a few not so 1960’s interrupting a long story-line to solve one horrible, screwed up place?

Dark Shadows cast

 Collinsport.

Yes…

*WEEP*

I went there.

And I couldn’t take it! 

And although I have wonderful fans of my horizon-goal marriage novel (which ended up being erotica if you can believe I had that talent… I didn’t.) but the radio drama is a comedienne’s worst nightmare! Funny as Hell without hearing anyone’s laughter. I have truly spiraled out of control from a neglect of inordinate talent, hard work and money with almost no reward, serious negativity, stalkers trying to control it, trolls attacking the erotic & hopeful wind-up novel, and people who have despised Barnabas Collins for longer than I’ve been alive for not reciprocating Dr. Julia Hoffman… GOOD LORD!

I just listened to all of these characters the best I could to give them all what they wanted without invalidating each other. Anyone real who’s stepped in to help so far has either disappeared, been fragmented by communicating their enjoyment, felt guilt they didn’t do it with the aged text version for years so they just keep silent, had a fit over Endora being in there, or have been so negative and aloof that it doesn’t support me at all. Even 99 % of my closest friends won’t help me with this. They’re all eaten up by device and internet distractions.
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Now I’m trying to contact college radio stations and getting either nothing, ooo, maybe or, “Hey, that’s copyrighted and…” *sigh* Noooooo…. it’s ME! I’m doing all the voices, acting, writing, editing, audio splicing. I can’t make a profit! If it was illegal even people merely writing this stuff would get sued. (And I can make copies with NO intros for air play. Intros are podcast. Most people do NOT understand this. Ugh!)
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I sure *will* say hi to my husband for you! The main good this whole thing has done is healing our marriage. Please…  please… PLEASE tell me you are either for or have absolutely NO angst about a reincarnation of Josette Dupres being an okay solution to this spiky banged weirdo’s troubles!

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Deep breath…

Here are the links to the various versions:

http://xoiscythe.podomatic.com/

https://archive.org/details/Podcast_The_Pit_of_Ultimate_Dark_Shadows

and yes… even iTunes… of which I had help from no one! UGH!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pit-ultimate-dark-shadows/id808980956?mt=2

and if you’d like something short… here’s how I had to analyze these insane fans! (Including myself…)

Analysis of Preferred Pairings For Barnabas Collins

Daryl

P.S. Help? Of any kind? Pretty please? Um… boo?

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