Pit Update March 2017

march-update-2017d

 

A “sickie” podcast for new pen pals and old listeners alike.

This is a very newsy and studious monologue. I’ll address what’s going on with the letter-writing method of listening to the series and knowing that many who want to hear this can’t always download or play it via having poor equipment.

Lots of discussions of people I’m talking with lately: Auntie, Jonah, etc.
Identifying interruption fan fiction and how it works with Osheen Nevoy and Lisa Weyenberg’s works as key examples.

Tons of spoilers for The Pit and later on a lot of spoilers for the marriage novel I’m creating in tandem. As per usual, this talk and explanation is quite cerebral, as well as moving back and forth discussion on various show characters being responsible for solutions in The Pit, including Endora and Uncle Arthur from “Bewitched”, as well as Wadsworth, Captain Gregg, Lily, and Morticia.

Plenty of goodies about Doctor Who coming into play for The Pit and exactly why he will.

archive.org link

podomatic link

podbay link

And yes, it is downloadable from iTunes, as always...

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The Promise of What Praise Can Do “Margaret Josette Dupres (A Novel)” [Note 10]

Yes, I wanted to go back to wonderful commentary on such a day like this. I’m feeling so rested by my time off of Facebook and successfully hitting my 2-week spans away from it. Plus I know people want further chapters of this novel and in order to maintain my focus for it means going through the joy of previous chapters. Hard study in passion is such a delight, don’t you think?

What I’m working on now is Chapters 42 & 43 in tandem. For some reason looking at more romance after a re-born Sarah chapter seems to help the prior chapter that is more focused on Sarah’s development to come forward. Having read and written about vampires before helps, but my original babies were far more jubilant in their long life-spans than Barnabas and Josette. (Plus my original vampires were total night-time, whereas Barnabas and Josette get some sunlight; awakening usually at midday. This allows for the more human sixteen-hours of wakefulness they deserve.)  These adoptees of mine have a spell-binding captivation from the previous traumas as witnessed on the original Dark Shadows.


However, Chapter 21 isn’t about our star-couple at all. It’s about the proposal of Tony Peterson to Carolyn Stoddard. I was sure it would come in the radio drama someday but it helped to write it out as a memory Carolyn Stoddard is sharing with our Schooner Bay writer, Carolyn Muir. The confusion of sharing the same name and working together is touched on with amusement.

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Once, when my spirits weren’t dragged into turmoil by the knowledge of silence by so many for The Pit, I was rapt in the plan of Carolyn & Carolyn eventually opening a publishing firm together. Muir has the expertise and Stoddard has the collateral. Can you imagine my amazement watching First Year Dark Shadows and Carolyn musing to Victoria about writing a book someday? I screamed!

Then with the laid-back approach to ghosts between these two in The Pit? Who might help them with a short work of fiction? The ghost of Bill Malloy and the ghost of Captain Gregg. Would they get along? I can see it happening. That part in the chapter is brief and happily inserted with Osheen Nevoy’s interest.

The chapter unfolds with Tony taking Carolyn to the beach and proposing with an engagement ring. To Tony’s approval she is not dressed-up, but dressed-down for helping to wallpaper a room in The Great House.

Somehow Carolyn Stoddard in olive overalls, a long sleeved white shirt and a bandana scarf to cover the top of her head was endearing enough for him to think: Yes, perfect.

Rather than kneel in the sand he encourages her idea to remove her shoes on the beach, then picks her up and places her on a large rock so that she is standing above him. As Carolyn realizes that Tony is about to propose to her she feels embarrassed not to be dressed-up for the occasion.

Osheen had also helped me a great deal in trying to determine why I was getting Carolyn Stoddard’s answer to Tony Peterson. I knew it was accurate for Carolyn Stoddard but I couldn’t understand how exactly.

Carolyn and Tony

Osheen reasoned wonderfully when I explained my troubles about Carolyn’s decision, telling her, “I can’t figure out why this is. I wish I did.” Osheen’s response was, “Well, I think the example of her mother’s less-than-successful marriage (not to mention how Liz almost tied the knot with the vile McGuire) would be more than enough reason for Carolyn to decide that she and Tony can be together in a perfectly satisfactory way without having to say ‘I do.’ (!)” We talked further on this but that was the right answer.

The other wild thing about this chapter is I knew so little of The First Year but somehow I’d gleaned these things about Carolyn Stoddard’s personality without previously studying that back-history. It was even more fascinating to see, on Dark Shadows, Joe Haskell, drunkenly aggrieved, come to Mrs. Stoddard about Carolyn and blaming her for causing Carolyn to fear marriage in general. (Joe and Carolyn had become engaged at the beginning of the program.)

Perhaps this is a similar condition to Eternal Sunshine On A Spotless Mind (2004) in which, even with memories eradicated, the people involved end up making the same decisions in any case. Picking up on the personality of a character in-depth can show the trepidation they have even though we’ve rarely seen the proof of it. I trusted my intuition about Carolyn Stoddard. I wanted her to say yes to Tony, I couldn’t imagine her not saying yes to Tony, but when the story started to process in my psyche, Carolyn was saying no, yet also saying she wanted to be with Tony Peterson. How to have both? I certainly wasn’t against it on moral grounds by any means! My husband and I “shacked-up” for 15 years before finally tying-the-knot. How would Collinwood approve of such a relationship? Then again, this is a laid-back Collinwood. (And it helped to recall the love-life of H.G. Wells in the late Victorian age. Some of this stuff is old-hat.)

Music inspired me, as it so often does, and I’d just been enjoying the Vanessa Carlton song, “I Don’t Want To Be A Bride”. It was set to a wedding-march rhythm and sounding so much like a song for a bridal walk down the aisle, but the lyrics expressed not getting married and living happily ever after, or at least happily with bits of the usual-life troubles. It helped so incredibly I put it into the chapter. Not likely to make it for the print publishing, but very likely to make it to the radio-drama.

Carolyn Stoddard stared carefully at him, “How about I wear this ring to my dying day… how about I’m yours forever without all that paperwork nonsense? … how about us being engaged and that’s as far as it goes?”

Tony Peterson smiled widely and kissed her passionately, then said, “Engaged? Forever? … I’ll take it.

Much approval was gleaned for this chapter, both in 200 Years Away and Margaret Josette Dupres


Osheen Nevoy chapter __ . Feb 26, 2014
Lovely! I think you’ve worked it out perfectly. It makes absolute, total sense for Carolyn to make that decision. I love the descriptions of Tony; it’s so nice to see him portrayed as someone to be passionate about (which he is, of course, the dear man!), when he is so often more-or-less ignored in the Dark Shadows universes. The descriptions in general, in fact, are excellently done – loved the one about their boulder & how it could be the top of the world. And excellent little details such as Tony not wanting to get his trouser-cuffs all salty and sandy! And, of course, add in the ghost of Bill Malloy, and I’m happy as a clam! Nice to see him & Capt. Gregg enjoying themselves! Of course, Bill didn’t drink much (usually) when he was alive, but I can see that after death he might well let his hair down a bit – not so many work responsibilities, etc.! – and certainly with the captain around as an influence on him, that makes sense! I would love to read the two Carolyns’ books! Maine really does have to be haunted to the gills, if Collinwood is anything to base that judgement on!

Ayup! Osheen had to wait for the finished product eventually to really know what went down but I dedicated the chapter to her for helping me so much and I added Bill in the best I could with what little I knew about him.


Magical Irish Dolphin chapter __ . Mar 6, 2014
I love it! It’s the perfect agreement for Tony and Carolyn, and you explained Carolyn’s reason for not wanting to get married beautifully. And it’s also pretty fluffy in the most awesome way. I think this is my favorite story you ever wrote!

To this I respond-reviewed (which I tend not to do anymore because we’re a little less shy about email):

Daryl Wor chapter __ . Mar 7, 2014
Oh, thank you! It means a lot. I had my husband read it to me and then we played the song. Osheen really helped me crack the nut on why I wanted what I was channeling from them. I could not figure it out until then. I had a number of ciders throughout the weekend while I was writing it and it’s one of my favourites, too. It’s one of my proudest achievements and I’d love it if more Tony & Carolyn fans appreciated that. I felt like, okay, no matter what, she HAS the ring, and right there on the beach, in this beautiful way, they *are* married. As Tony’s says to himself, “This is what I want, this is what I have, and this is what always will be.”

Plus, I know where they’re coming from as my chap and I were together 15 years before we finally did get married. So between Tony & Carolyn, along with Maggie & Barnabas… we know… 🙂 It’s wonderful.

More was reviewed for the renewed MJD posting:

Magical Irish Dolphin chapter 21 . May 27, 2014
I really love this. I think this is the cutest thing you ever wrote. I love Tony and Carolyn on the beach. It’s perfect. I’m glad more of your readers are giving this pairing another glimpse and seeing them in a new way. You certainly made me see them in a new prism. And I know what you mean about developing couples that harbor potential but were never fully realized on the show… Thanks for adding this chapter in your novel.

Thanks for enjoying it so effusively as I do! 🙂


Oddly enough I noticed, after Cassandra’s wily ways, Tony & Carolyn getting back together, however briefly, on Dark Shadows. I’m starting to wonder if the relationship fizzled due to Tony Peterson losing favour with the story-lines. I’m getting the feeling it’s actually that. Tony’s final appearance on DS is episode 578 after an attack by Adam who is jealous and wants Carolyn’s affections. Beyond a few bruises, Tony’s relationship with Carolyn is apparently intact. Go figure. This is why I like to remind audiences everywhere that Dark Shadows is a daytime-drama and when the potential for happiness arrives it’s often thwarted in that style of storytelling to keep the viewer on-the-edge. (Luke & Laura’s longevity on General Hospital is anyone’s guess! Princess Diana even sent champagne for their fictional wedding.)

I already know the dwindling of attention-span in book-reading. I fear the general population has also lost the ability to discerningly watch television. It’s often based on the availability of the actors. Was Jason McGuire removed from Dark Shadows because the production team wanted him to leave? Nope. The actor, Dennis Patrick, bless his heart, wanted to leave in the strongest terms. Real lives alter the story-telling of a television program. But for soap-opera material Jason McGuire was a villain to be reckoned with and who kept you tuned-in with major hate for him. Tony Peterson and Carolyn Stoddard didn’t have an edge-of-your seat romance going without trouble. Their romance was likely dropped due to running out of trouble for them with which to wrestle.

Mainly I remember feeling like Hell that Tony & Carolyn were being parted via Cassandra and her mind-control on Tony that by the time the show may randomly have healed their love and then drifted-off from the relationship, I was already invested in the relief-series idea and wanted to see those two, not only happy but, having plenty of fun adventures. And I still do!


 Ms. Karen Trask chapter 21 . May 21, 2014
I enjoyed reading this though with my own thoughts about it, as you might imagine 🙂 but it was a very nice telling of a story line many fans wanted to see happen. Great read!

Thank you! We do like to see lovers succeed. I believe it’s very natural when they are mutually attracted.

katieyoung1960 chapter 21 . May 25, 2014
Perfect!

I was relieved when my husband and I read the chapter together to believe so. I happily sighed with astonishment, “I couldn’t have asked for anything better.” 🙂

Helena Clara Bouchet chapter 21 . May 21, 2014
That was a romantic chapter although I was as confused as Tony at first. But we get it now 🙂 I am happy for the couple. So when is their engagement celebration or party?

I’m guessing it will be during the radio drama someday. As for this log entry I think one chapter is more than enough to dwell on considering all the studying and consultation that was required to make it happen. As a soap-opera relationship? It ran it’s course. For a humour-mystery audio serial? I shall always be on the edge of my seat for Carolyn & Tony. ❤


Before the lyrics the chapter ends wonderfully with Tony Peterson’s understanding of his relationship with Carolyn Stoddard.

Tony held her up about her middle, her knees around his, and swung her around on the beach, kissing her intently. It doesn’t make any difference now, he thought, this is what I want, and this is what I have, and this is what always will be.

kissing

Pit Update October 2016

oct-update

 

In between Victoria Winters and Caleb Collins studies we have a somewhat studious ramble to keep you company until the release of Episode 16. Also, why Episode 16 hasn’t been released yet. (Plenty of spooky background music is in this podcast…)

Finding where Dark Shadows characters Chris and Amy Jennings are coming into this radio drama and how they might be blended in via how they already are from the original Dark Shadows.

Bits of what’s already been assessed and written in scenes for future episodes. Comparisons of working on original material versus fanfiction material.

Going over old and new studies for Victoria Winters and Caleb Collins back history according to Dark Shadows canon and a few irritations involving those studies when it comes to bad variables in communication about it. Still, the studies are revealing and well worth a listen if one is concerned with those particular characters.

Some meandering discussion about what The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is and also touching upon Mary Sue characters and Marilyn Ross novels. Knowledge in variables that are important for creating more audio drama episodes depending on all the television shows and characters involved so far, and who might be involved in the future.

Pointers of why profit can never be made from this series and how glorious that is. Encouragement to letter-writing and correspondence of enjoyment, whether it’s to this series or for the betterment of ourselves. Why online drama is truly of little relevance to our community.

Pit Update October 2016 (podomatic link)

Pit Update October 2016 (podbay link)

Pit Update October 2016 (archive.org link)

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Background music for this podcast:

“Night in a Graveyard” – Haunted House Music Co (1985)

“Cristofori’s Dream” – David Lanz (1988)

“Magic” – Mick Smiley (Ghostbusters Soundtrack Album 1984)

“Lament” – Assemblage 23 (2004)

“Cathedral of Death” -Autopsia (1993)

“House of Silence” – Bad Boys Blue (1991)

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and?

Happy Halloween!

Hittin’ up the Goth-Kin… As Well as The Ghost And Mrs. Muir fans

I found a few new Goth sites and got Episode #3 to them. A number of like-clicks, of course, but one chap was quite enthusiastic. I’m so glad. It does usually seem to be that third episode with “The Lost Boys” music presented at the intro truly gets a number of people to open up. YAY!  His words for this Dark Shadows/Kids In The Hall/Golden Girls/Freddy Krueger/Twin Peaks episode?

http://xoiscythe.podomatic.com/entry/2014-01-28T12_26_57-08_00

I love it! I had a few really good chuckles and the production is fantastic! Having done a bit of internet radio, I know it’s not easy. Nice work! … Well, you have a fan! I’m intrigued to see where it goes from here. 🙂  … I have the utmost respect for those who contribute to the culture in any way they can. As long as people continue to contribute, we’re ensured that our culture will continue. I know I sound like an idealist, but I firmly believe that anyone who can contribute, even in the smallest way, should.”

Yes, I finally recognized:

satan like the golden girls

Even Satan likes The Golden Girls

Ah….

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Just kidding… but… you know… 😉


Meanwhile… I had some time to go through the 3rd Episode of “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir”. That was fun and I took a number of screen shots, coming up with this consideration:

communication with scruffy

Ah… it’s hard to look over the program and not find all kinds of unique flexibility with the ghost of Captain Daniel Gregg to be inspired by. I believe this is from “Treasure Hunt”. I became intrigued on my second watch of the series when Madeira was drinkable. However, I remember the idea of spirits and libations, so this made sense to me.

Here we have even bigger examples of prowess. He’s creating the faux treasure map, so physical objects aren’t a strain for him to manage. What’s groovier? Communication with Scruffy.

No wonder so much is written as the two year run did have the potential for further tales. (Same as The Addams Family’s short-run.)

So as I presented this to The Ghost and Mrs. Muir fans, one called out, “Keep posting the great images!” Oh, yes. That got me alight. So as I went through the episode “Treasure Hunt” I screen capped plenty. There were a lot of scenes with Claymore, and I remembered them fairly well, so I had a good time weaving through that and finding goodies of Carolyn Muir and Captain Gregg as well as Martha serving coffee to her “mistress”.

treasure hunt coffee

Someone adored the Blue Willow china and I agreed: “She had that cup and saucer and it made me feel good about myself. I grew up seeing so many people collect tea sets or cup and saucers for show, but never use them. Almost any time I could, I’d buy up tea things for use. I have one set stashed but, for almost all my coffee and tea needs, I use everyday cups and saucers, usually from IKEA or an Asian market. Blue & white. Even used one today. I may be all messy now, but blast-it, I use a cup and saucer.”

Then I posted the rest of what I’d “caught.” This is just a sample:

treasure hunt late night talk

Here are the rest I grabbed from “Treasure Hunt”, hopefully in order. One thing I noticed that I love about this program is the same gentleness of some 1960s films when I’m looking for comfort-food. Everything’s cleaner, there is less clutter, and the mixture between the 1960s blends well with things from even further in the past. Also the nautical aspects. (I studied that and pirates for a long time. We can thank Astrid Lindgren for that, though.)

And the response?

“Well said!!”

Thanks. ❤


I hope when the retrograde ends, this radio series speeds into action. After all the a-holes, I think it’s about time to hear all the love. Don’t you?

Peace.

Editing Scenes In Audio, Ep. 13

I say “in audio” so much because I really feel like it’s required to hit people over the head with this. The listeners who enjoy my audio work barely say anything, like-click my work up the wazoo and so I am left with the more talkative types that tend to be other writers and readers of fanwork and see it as text solely. My work is not only text. If one has a problem differentiating between functions of the ears and the eyes, as well as the switch in comprehension between the two, I think one needs more than Dr. Hoffman to help out with that.

This is why signing on to the podcast pages and radio drama sites sometimes gives more scope to what I’m doing. It’s audio. And what do they say, overall, is the worst part of this work? Editing. Deleting “um”‘s, coughs, burps, you name it. What is remarkable is on one radio drama site I found, I got to look through a conversation about hired actors and directors. Me? I’m doing it all on that account. Why? I’m socially isolated. Who the hell was I going to hire?

Minus the lovable bits of Sir Simon Milligan and Manservant Hecubus, there are about seven scenes in this episode to The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows.

In the last two days I had to go over Barnabas and Julia arguing and yelling at each other, amplify bits, change pitches here and there and with Barnabas it truly is per word sometimes. Jonathan Frid’s Barnabas Collins is just that difficult to get anywhere close to… well… close!

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Not the correct house but I didn’t want to re-use the photo from another post.

Now, for people who don’t speak up, I asked the question of whether or not Julia was going to cry out, “Horse-spit” or “Horseshit” in this episode. The only person who spoke up on that point was Helena. So, guess what? She had the singular deciding vote. Julia is going to scream “Horseshit” at Barnabas in this one. Don’t like it? Well, as the cast in Clue are so fond of saying, “To make a long story short… Too Late.”

Next I had to go over, yet again, Wadsworth encountering Mr. Loomis in his quarters at Wyndcliff Sanitarium. Since Wadsworth is missing in episode 12 after taking a walk with Professor Stokes in episode 11, Professor Stokes is the person who decides it’s about time to bring Wadsworth and Willie together. Professor Stokes has already been incorporating calligraphy into Willie Loomis’ routine. Stokes also understands that both have worked for Barnabas Collins as men of service, so they already have something in common. What more might there be?

Wadsworth with Broom 254484_300

If anyone knows me on facebook I was shaking my fist last night because Wadsworth’s lines were making the microphone pop when I performed them. So I had to re-perform those lines today. I thanked a person on youtube for a video of Wadsworth and Miss Scarlet so I didn’t have to whip out the DVD of Clue. However, I only had to change three words after all of that work. That’s how intensive this labour is. It’s for this reason I spiral out of control online sometimes. I have approximately 500-700 listeners at this point and getting people to discuss the humour or scenes with me is like pulling tusks out of a still alive and kicking elephant. Why is this? I can only speculate. Whenever I’ve enjoyed hard work online I speak up immediately and often. This is the reason one of the first persons I contacted in my struggle was the maker of the DS Annotations videos. Unfortunately for me she’s moved on from Dark Shadows, but her videos of old still reign supreme. It was also the reason I expected vocal reaction to my humourous series. DS Annotations on youtube had plenty!

After Wadsworthe and Willie is the scene between Sam and Maggie… or I should say Sam as a reincarnated Andre Dupres and Maggie as the reincarnated of Josette Dupres, and them both working things out. I wanted to save Sam Evans… how I came up with him being Andre Dupres is rather easy considering all the reincarnation swarming over Collinwood… but the characters must have guided me to this newer relationship. Considering Sam and Maggie, as father and daughter, they have a friendship that astounds me and always has. They can dig at each other and joke about those digs. Sam is also so down-to-earth that understanding what happens in her marriage to Barnabas in Margaret Josette Dupres only bothers him marginally. After comprehending so much super-natural broo-ha, as well as the understanding an artist has in the depth of love he likely experienced with both of his wives, Marie la Freniére as Andre and Maggie’s mother as Sam, it only fazes him slightly in the knowledge of what Josette attains with Barnabas in that novel, but… as he says… he does not dwell on it.

maggie_sam

“Our archivist and Victoria Winters can do all the dwelling they want to if it pleases them. Ahem!”

In this scene for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, revised from the original text last October (2013), Sam makes a point of being sure Maggie, as Josette, understands that even though Barnabas was wretched for kidnapping her, the main problem is that he wasn’t doing it because he wanted to, he did it because he was made insane from being cursed and being comatose for so long. The real threat to all of their happiness, as they remember, was her friend Angelique, and that was all due to Barnabas not loving her and loving Josette instead. Maggie promises she’ll reflect on that as she exits to sit on the porch.

This is another reason why I adore Sam’s relationship with Captain Daniel Gregg. Gregg is the one who supports all of this in episode 12. He has to remind Sam that it was Angelique, and since Captain Gregg is known for not being a feminist this is an easy point for him to make. *heart* (Quite easy for The Captain, too; He’s just had to suffer Endora’s wrath from Bewitched in episode 11!)

After that is a rather short phone call of Dr. Hoffman to her workroom at Wyndcliff because she’s so frazzled trying to locate her new buddy, Professor Stokes, to request help for her worries over her other friend, Barnabas Collins, she’ll try anything, even *gasp* calling her very neglected office.

I already discussed the scene with Tom, Lily Munster, Elizabeth Stoddard and the ghost of Caleb Collins in another entry…

Next?

Uncle Fester, Morticia Addams, Victoria Winters and, Grandmama! ^_^

More Stations Contacted and Illness Lifting

VictoriaMorticia rose

As several packages to college radio stations have been mailed in the last week I can only deduce part of why all of this happened as sorely and unfortunately as it has is Providential in purpose: to reach more and more people. Why folks have become even more distracted away from communicating and sitting in the complacency that information-overload and lack of dialogue is what this online world is all about, there must be more need to change lives beyond a small shipping town.

I am hardly the only individual who works very hard online only to see numbers and feel a sense of pointlessness in it all. I hear from these creators on a regular basis and they aren’t just writers of fanfiction or articles. The point in sharing is discussion. Book clubs still take place for this purpose. College radio? It very likely continues to retain listeners who don’t skip around on audio. They have to listen carefully and they’re used to doing that. They have longer attention spans and due to being outside the mainstream they make decisions about what they like and aren’t guided by the nose as to what they should enjoy. As one station expressed themselves on a website I saw today: “We play none of the hits.”

Very nice indeed.

My husband and I are sick of coughing and want that element to leave like so much of the rest. But we hold close and smile widely and gratefully when either of us comes into view after hours of separation. And it looks like a number of characters will be of stuffy nasal passages. Maggie and Sam make sense, they’ve likely shared tears together after what occurred in Episode 12. Hoffman and Stokes? Well, they’re a little scratchy in sound so that could work. Caleb? Hmm… Not sure if I’ll use any of those re-performed lines. Will it matter there was a train in the distance as I recorded that?

Victoria and Morticia from the original demo are fine. My Cara Mia got that snippet and said she howled with laughter over the one line I gave Uncle Fester. Just an alteration in pitch for Morticia Addams. “You really do have a voice made for audio, Querida.” So lovely to hear someone tell me these things. I’ve got to investigate more of The Addams Family and hold fast to them. They truly have been a larger beacon for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows that I did not expect.

The interesting part in all of this is how young the more vocal readers and writers are. These are old programs and films but younger people love them. That’s also the sad part. I get the terrible feeling many Dark Shadows fans are much older than the rest of us, got used to not saying anything or being encouraging, so our work gets read or in my case heard, and we’re looked at like 1) the fanzines of old, in which there were no comment boxes, 2) not needing any commentary because we grew up with the internet (I didn’t, by the way) or 3) as if we are people who are… their… age? Nope. Talking to these younger creators who are doing this to find their people, their feelings have been harmed and they’ve been unhappy or lonely just as long if not longer than I. What happened to caring about the younger, anyway? Especially from folks who grew up writing letters and using the post-office. Did all of those skills just die?

Speaking of which the blue-box that I used for Captain Gregg’s sound effects in helping Sam mail the check during Episode 12? That box just got yanked off the street. Pisses me off but it was in a crappy location. So, for posterity it still exists in that audio. But the post office isn’t going away, I think that’s what needs to change as well. We need to write letters again, tap into the thoughtful discussion we’re capable of; long-term expression, not quick-fix ephemera.

Pop Evans

As “Pop” tells Maggie in my 13th Episode when she wonders if she could ever trust Barnabas again, even as Josette:

“People can change, you know. They really can.”

Creating The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. (Yes, it’s a pain in the arse.)

Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows logo

Now that the genesis of this project has been squared away there is a ton of hard work coming into unravel a complex series like Dark Shadows. On to how the bonus characters fit in as well. I’d wanted to put something together like this mixture since I was little anyway, here is the perfect platform. 

There is a Star Trek fiction online called “Star Tricked: The Next Perpetration.” It’s in radio script and tends to get rather vulgar but is quite funny none the less. My cousin found it and did the performing himself with music and sound effects only using cassettes I could lend him. Sadly some of the best material is taped over to re-use the cassettes. This is also a multi-fandom story which incorporated OS Star Trek, Next Generation characters, Star Wars characters, Lost In Space characters and almost anything in the realms of outer space. Hilarious. Hence the best way to fit in so much? Use radio format. Perhaps hosts can explain scene switches, so who do we use?

Sir Simon Milligan and Manservant Hecubus from The Pit of Ultimate Darkness skits via Kids In The Hall. They’re spooky and goofy and can use updated slang.

1954 and a character at a place called Hill House off of route 41: Wadsworth.  Well, either Miss Scarlet did it or Mrs. Peacock did. Either way it doesn’t matter. The third ending of Clue didn’t make sense to me. Willie Loomis is at Wyndcliff so perhaps Barnabas could get it into his head to find a nicer way of hiring a replacement without all of the stress. Put out an ad and see what happens. I’ve likely watched the film “Clue” fifty times. I also looked around and found most of the movie script in PDF format. I’ve written down more for future references to the film.

The parapsychologist group from Poltergeist? Whoops wrong time period, but whatever. This show has time-travel, right? Still, I did request a 1960’s sports score for Ryan to express: “The Jets just beat the Colts 16 to 7!” Slimer and the Ghostbusters? Wrong time period again but with Wadsworth around one never knows what the heck is going on other than him. Slimer seemed a prime candidate to give David Collins some mischief and rifle through the Collinwood kitchen. Poor Mrs. Johnson. For Sir Simon Milligan’s joke, “Little do they notice the hulking van that’s sped in the other direction, nor the 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor following close behind it bearing the license plate: Ecto-1. It has often been suggested to me that citizens of Collinsport have no peripheral vision.”

Yes, I did the research on the Ghostbusters famous automobile.

Victoria Winters trip back from 1795? There ain’t no WAY I’m gonna reformulate that without references to “The Time Machine”, which I’ve watched about fifty times, too, as well as in repertoire theaters. Hey, we got a 1960’s thing going on now. Let’s keep it that way.

Willie isn’t around to give Maggie the earrings so Wadsworth does it instead, but his intention is to bring out that past life memory with a trigger of something Josette had that hadn’t been involved in Maggie’s kidnapping. 

The Golden Girls? I’ve watched it like crazy and there is that reference to it on The Kids In The Hall. A 1960’s younger Sophia can hang out with Mrs. Johnson and take Adam home with her to Brooklyn. Sophia does curses, she’s pretty dark in her own little way. Whoops, a little more of the modern with “Twin Peaks”, bah, Victoria can time-travel, no big deal. Throw in a Lara Parker/Laura Palmer joke. The gist of this is to let Victoria and Peter escape Colllinsport only to find all these other places to be just as bad if not worse.

The Dream Curse? Who’s going to handle that? Ah, Freddy Krueger, Mr. Dream-Curse himself. Did the research on him, too. Apparently it WAS cats claws that inspired his bladed-glove! So a previous life as Mrs. Johnson’s cat? Okie dokie.

What author’s work could Roger be reading to get over Cassandra? Okay, Mr. Fix-It Dale Carnegie. That’s old and well-known.

And the BIG need for this: Saving Sam Evans. Well, I stumbled on this one as the 2012 movie came out and everyone went BERZERK over it in multiple different ways. It gave me a version I liked considering Josette came back as a reincarnation which was what I was doing already. Ah, they saw what I saw. Well, that’s a comfort. (Another is people have been so angry at it any pairings bullying missed me because everyone’s been too busy harping on it. Nice distraction.)

But Sam… Oh… what can I do? I don’t know why but I decided to look at “The Ghost & Mrs. Muir” television program. WOW! This is pretty good! Oh, I know the lady who plays Martha! Wow. SAY, a portrait of The Captain, little kids with sticky fingers, Sam is a painter and Angelique’s portrait is why Sam gets hurt, SWITCH THE PORTRAITS! Tony & Carolyn can go on a date to Schooner Bay. HURRAY!

Meanwhile Wadsworth can make that weirder by letting out his Frank N Furter side. Okay, get the lyrics. How’s that going to go down?

Hilariously!

Research on Josette’s music box tune. Who wrote it? Hmm, there were two versions? WOW! One was used on The Prisoner TV Show? The episode is “Dance of The Dead”. Let’s throw in a dream about that for Barnabas Collins. Hmm, was Folgers coffee around back then? Yep. (I wonder if it really is “Mountain Grown” or is that just a fancy trademark now?) Crap, when did Captain Gregg die? Shoot! How does he know Andre Dupres? Oh, okay as a ghost. Excellent.

Norman Bates… *sigh* not a lot of stuff on wikipedia, let’s try IMDB. Okay, the town is Fairvale and it is in California, as are The Addams Family from what I can find. All right, as soon as Victoria and Peter hang out with The Addams Family long enough they’ll freak out and run from there, too… wait… no. The Addams Family are actually nice. And they’re helpful, too! HEY! Good spot for Victoria to get help finding out about her past! SWEETNESS! And maybe Peter Bradford can get help being Peter Bradford in name officially and not yucky Jeff Clark! Those Addams’ have gobs of money.

Here comes Nicholas Blair and what we’ve all been waiting for: slamming the door in his mustachioed face! Tony & Carolyn’s romance will put a hard to conceal smile on Elizabeth’s face recalling an old paramour she had. But who went with her on this trip in which she might have given birth to Miss Winters? Research and watch a ton of The Munsters. Bleh, not another Herman being doofus episode… Ah… Lily… Mmm… and they do chemistry and inventing in that house. Lily could easily be a cousin that experimented with her looks once upon a time. Now when was Victoria Winters born? Ah, right around World War II. So who could our Mystery Man be? A soldier…That would separate the lovers, wouldn’t it? ^_^

*Sigh* This is a long wait for poor Willie. That nut-house could get uninteresting. What could he spend his time doing? Learning calligraphy. And who would encourage him with that? The ever helpful Professor Stokes, which gives him and Dr. Julia Hoffman some time to spend together. 

Ugh… The Blue Whale’s shortage of tunes on the jukebox… oh HEY! Why am I thinking of “Sleepwalk” by Santo & Johnny? Because it’s similar! No vocals! Same time period! Groovy! Hmm, how long ago did they use car radios for the audio at Drive-In movie theaters? Looked that up, yep that long ago. Now which dumb surf-picture do Tony & Carolyn go to? Hey! What’s this “Monterey Pop” movie? Ooo… close to the same year, but… screw it! *I* want to go to a Drive-In and make out to this movie! Perfect for a date! 

Now where is some damning evidence that Maggie is Josette? Ugh, what kind of cargo did people use in 1795? Okay, what sailing routes did they take from Martinique to Maine? Go with The Dominica Channel. Phew… how many reincarnation documentaries and articles do I need to go through? 

Hey, Caleb Collins? What’s up? Hmm, died in 1872 and was a hording recluse let’s look at the older story lines of Dark Shadows and see what you were hiding out from-GOOD NIGHT, IRENE! Yowza. Okay, fair enough. You’re likely ticked-off as hell at living and being a ghost through all of this mess! Jiminy Christmas! 

Now why did Sarah’s ghost leave? Because Barnabas wasn’t being good. Well, he is now. She can come back. Why not?

I doubt Dr. Watson would claim this was all absurdly simple, but if he did Sherlock Holmes would scoff, “Everything is absurdly simple once it’s been explained.”

And this is just the TEXT version I’m talking about, not the audio and podcast which is an even bigger and more expensive pain.

And dang, this Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is funny! Hmm… so why aren’t people laughing? I have no evidence that they are. After all of this hard work? What’s the problem?

Crap… the romantic pairingsUGH! Look at all of this side-taking and bullying toward nice folks who would enjoy this. They’ve all been silenced by that and the way the internet comes to them to not be communicative over enjoyment. 

Now I have these other people arguing with me about the pairings since they couldn’t be arsed to listen to the intros and see where it was obviously going. So not only is all this hard work to find my people put into a state of horror, the manipulative people are coming out and saying negative crap.

Swell… 

THIS BITES!

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