“I Just Don’t Understand Her…”

No, many people do not understand Daryl Wor. I’ll try and explain with high doubts it will serve any purpose but allowing me the feeling I made the effort.

I often enjoy a balance of social stimuli with people of like-mind, not a huge party type, but more a small gathering person, definitely one-to-one contact.  Then when enough of that socializing comes I will enjoy my alone time. Since 2013 there has been an imbalance of too much alone time with the coupling of many gearing towards social networks.

Like many who enjoy a particular entertainment, if you can’t find neighbours or friends to enjoy that entertainment with you? You look for people online. Unfortunately for me the online community has shifted from many with computers and keyboards, who knew how to correspond, to a wild array of mobile phone users, device owners, and those of low or fragmented intelligence polluting the conversation with pointless time-wasting, empty emoticons, and nary a deep thought. With these types over-populating the internet and given the encouragement to speak less, post more photos, throw around memes, and do nothing but robotically click votes, this became the status quo, and I despise it.

I make my entertainment so readily available because I am looking for a niche audience. The platforms of conversation are there in easy reach for this niche audience, but by this time (2013-2016) the ability to converse and express enjoyment has degenerated. There is also the fandom politics issue where anyone speaking out for the pairing for Barnabas Collins that I saw, and still see, as simply obvious were anticipating verbal assault from fans of either a non-canon pairing or a nonsensical one.

For the latter I’ve had to empathize and even deal with cads who thought attacking me would make me stop. Nope. It just made me annoyed, angry, and ready to retaliate. The other silliness of this behaviour is they have, and perhaps still do, posted these comments where I cannot see them. Well, that either allows others who like to waste their time hating me and fictional characters to see it perhaps, but it also allows for free advertising of me to others who wonder what I did that was so terrible. The other option is to attack me, or the canon pairing, cryptically which is also uncommunicative and another waste of time and megabyte space. Either way, it’s useless, cowardly and we all know it.

I’ve also had people writing to my blog to argue points with me about pairings, about how the human heart works, about what I’m doing or just to be insulting. I think I’ve been way TOO patient with people like that! Considering I likely have had far more romantic relationships than these people, as well as one that has been successful to reach us over two decades, I can’t take these arguments about love and relationships very seriously at all. If you want personal counsel? Go get some! If you want to convert Dark Shadows fans into believing Dr. Hoffman is the only woman for Barnabas Collins? There are tons of converts. See how you fare making friends with them. I know sane Julia/Barnabas fans and I prefer them. I don’t care for proselytizers of a non-canon romantic pairing. It’s an empty virtue and it is in my way.

Get OUT of my way.

 

The other major annoyance has been the horrid catchphrase of “Do it for you”. If I am sharing this online why on Earth would it be solely doing it for me?

I do plenty of things solely for myself. Feeding, clothing, exercising, and making sure I have enough to keep me occupied are all things I do for myself. But we are interconnected whether we like to admit this or not. None of what I feed and clothe myself with was created by me. It all came from other people with other resources.

Dreams of storytelling might be solely for the individual but the human race has storytelling because it is in relationship with everything surrounding and involved with it. Productions of storytelling are created by many, many individuals. Sit through the end of a film and try to read all the names in the list of credits. You will never come close to remembering each one.

Franz Kafka requested that his unpublished manuscripts be destroyed and only a few of his works were published during his lifetime. His wishes were not granted and his work was published posthumously. Now he is regarded by many to be one of the most influential writers of the 20th century. He “did it for him” but we reap the benefits and have the discussions. Does that sound fair?

I know life often is not fair but that’s what we shoot for, isn’t it?

The narcissism that currently taints our individual lives is abhorrent. If I were a narcissist you would have heard about me a lot sooner. Why do you know Daryl Wor at all? There is a show or movie you love so much and she is breathing new life into it. She’s entertained you but you don’t know how to approach her except in demeaning ways more often than not. That’s why I return to pen pals.

I went to Facebook, and other social networks, as I was advised to do with my work. Of the thousands of fandom types there, only a handful of friends have been made. The loss of previous friendships prior to social networks, or prior to my own work, is devastating and still haunts me. It is an epidemic and reminds me of The 1918 Flu that was killing off 3 to 5 percent of the population almost one hundred years ago. (Currently we are in the 100 year anniversary of World War One.) Smartphones and social networks do something more insidious. The “victim”, or “addict”, is still alive for all intents and purposes, but their friendships alter drastically. Their communication skills dwindle. They become unaware of keeping in touch with phone calls, email, or paper letters. The social network chat box and the text message becomes all that is possible and the only format they will use, if they even use that. Mostly they just scroll a cluttered news-feed and click their lives away. This programming, scrolling and like-clicking, has spread like a virus throughout many social websites, even WordPress more is the pity.

I got yet another request from a potential pen pal, less than 24 hours ago, to interact with him on Facebook. It is that pervasive. I said no, obviously.

I cannot make money from The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. I am sharing it and continue to share it to find those of like-mind, for friendship, fun, as well as insightful discussion, and for help in the research as well. School-Marm critiquing is not helpful, nor desired. Critics are not known for being part of a creation. Employees or passionate fans very much are. I nit-pick myself enough. I don’t need anyone else doing it.

The other obnoxious suggestion is to drown myself in Dark Shadows fanfiction. I did that for five years hunting for a relief-series. I didn’t find one so I started to build one. When I’ve enjoyed a piece of fanwork, Dark Shadows or otherwise, you definitely hear about it. I didn’t get into this to read everything any stranger throws at me. Being with people of like-mind and sharing discussion over each other’s work is precisely what I want. Listen to my interview with Automne Archer and that is exactly what you will hear that rivets us both.

I’ve said in a podcast intro, quoting a fan-letter to a Dark Shadows cast-member, that most of what I’ve seen of Dark Shadows fanfiction is, “So much drugstore, paperback trash the likes of which V.C. Andrews never dreamed possible”. And it’s true. Page turner books are important: They engage us and get us to be involved with the story and read-read-read. The eyes are practicing left to right movement and the mind is imbibing the action-packed drama. Some people don’t move on from this kind of story-telling format. Some do move on, and I am one of those people. My life has been hell enough that I don’t need any more hell. Why would I love the characters of Dark Shadows enough to create a relief-series only to spend my time watching them assaulted and getting hurt in unconvincing stories I don’t want to read anyway? (I picked watching the damn show because it was dry, had some humour and good dialogue, and it’s old! And spooky! S-L-O-W SPOOKY!) Bummers in literature are all over gutenberg.org. Go for it. Horror and Tarantino extreme-crazy scenarios on film are in plenty. Have at it!

_________________________________________________

Contentment, love, happiness. If attaining these is our goal and having them is so possible then why not glory in it, even study it?

Barnabas and Josette

As Margaret Josette Dupres asks, “All you had desired centuries ago, weren’t you? What would happiness be like? It isn’t simple, is it, Barnabas?”

That is the myth of happiness: It’s simple, it’s boring. Glad those who say so are the ones missing out and not me! The pursuit of happiness? Let’s talk about winning the pursuit and what happens when you do. Pursuing it is only half of the story.

___________________________________

Barnabas answers her, “No. Not simple, Josette. Never a goal to have conquered. A mystery to sweetly drift through. A journey that might never end…”

___________________________________

Or as my last podcasters meeting taught, “Dismiss the people who keep asking why you want to do something, or pooh-pooh your ideas. That doesn’t get you anywhere. The better question to ask is: Why not?”

As I tell myself and others, “A Dark Shadows relief-series had to be in audio. Most fans I’ve encountered of Dark Shadows do not listen to the characters other than to argue with them. They aren’t invested in the town of Collinsport or the Collinwood Estate. Those fans are invested in themselves, they listen only to themselves. They don’t want to listen to the love Barnabas has to express to Josette, or her reincarnations, or her protective spirit. People who listen to dialogue, who know how to listen to others: That’s the kind of Dark Shadows fans who can understand a relief-series.

“Obsessive Dark Shadows fans try The Pit and give up. They argue with me about pairings. They claim it’s all based on my decisions. They completely ignore that The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is also about The Addams Family, The Ghost & Mrs. Muir, The Munsters, Bewitched and Clue, as well as a slew of others. Not only do those shows help the daytime-drama, the fans of those shows tend to delight in The Pit rather than railing against it. They get it and they’re far more helpful than the droves of Dark Shadows ‘fans’ I’ve encountered.”

The main sorrow is there are those who do love The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows but don’t know how to express it. They can’t remember how to say what made them laugh aloud or get misty, what Captain Gregg or Morticia scenes held their intrigue.

“No one writes letters anymore.” I’m going to go out on a limb for profanity in declaring that this statement is complete bullshit.

I began writing letters and really got into doing so in the late 1980’s. People were already saying that BS statement when I began corresponding with pen pals all over the continent, as well as overseas. It was said throughout the 1990’s, 2000’s and now in our current 2010’s. People write letters still. It’s a human pace that is important to imbibing information properly. Contemplative discussion. This is the best way to learn.

And like anything else? If you are having a hard time getting started? Find a children’s version. I could never have French braided my own hair for my wedding day if I didn’t do that.

There are also videos on youtube! We couldn’t have fixed our toilet if it wasn’t for that!

“I’m busy.” The only people I believe who say that are those who tell me what they are busy doing. Using social networks doesn’t count. That’s not busy. That’s being addicted. I’ve discovered plenty of articles online about this addiction and many commentators thanking the writers of these articles with their own confessions. All admit the same thing, “I stopped using it and suddenly I had a ton of time on my hands!”

Me too.

The last excuse is, “I’m lazy…” Hmm… That’s not likely a good habit to get into. Example: Would you repeat this to a potential employer? Even someone whose kids you’re babysitting?

As for me… it’s a hot day! I feel useless but I’m not. Got through a few email messages, dishwasher got filled up, preparing lists for things to get done, including commenting on fanwork I do find pleasing, gatherings to attend in future, missive to a lonely friend like me, and getting my hair done at some point. (The lightening is finished and I’m starting to resemble a very freshly bleached David J. or Nick Rhodes right now. I’m not sure which…)

As for married life? Yes, the love keeps going and the passion is thriving! I must continue to thank this couple for blessing us with such a marvelous change. ❤

2016 Program Smooch

And if you don’t like that or want to argue with me about it? Argue with this Klingon about his sense of Honour first:

Worf2

If you wear him down, I’ll contemplate another useless discussion about how Barnabas & Maggie “don’t work”. They healed our marriage. That’s proof enough to me that they work extremely well and with her father’s blessing. 🙂

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One thought on ““I Just Don’t Understand Her…”

  1. morlock13 says:

    Just to be random, because whenever I see a stat for this, and re-read it, I always remember that bleaching job I did that day and recall that it wasn’t really David J. or Nick Rhodes I was resembling. It was actually Martin Gore from Depeche Mode. (((hee hee hee))) XD

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