There is currently up to enough for goal in commentary for Episodes 3 & 4 now. Still the day drags on into night as I watch download after download after download on so many sites from so many people. The best I can get is to send CDs to a few folks who don’t have the luxury of access to the radio drama, and ENDLESS discussion on facebook about either Dark Shadows, or ideas or posts or whatever thing facebook has decided will interest me when rarely any of it does.
That bloody overwhelming excess of Barnabas MUST love Julia or else was an unfortunate topic of discussion which lead to people ignoring almost any of Barnabas’ personal feelings as a character and giving me that newly acquired lashing rage. Knowing what I know now of why the people who saw what I saw as the natural result of relief for him are the shy, lonely types who want to find their kindred souls but can’t in a swirl of loud-mouthed ignorant types.
I can barely fathom the internal need these people have over demanding a fictional character, a major icon, of whose depth and complexity astounds even me, to love someone whose affections he did not reciprocate. I guess it just seethes at them in some way and has done for so many decades. Women’s lib gone sour? Some bad relationship they suffered through and Julia represents all of that hard work for a loser they got dumped on or by? And in all of it, I don’t just feel bad for him, I feel bad for her as well. Moreover I feel bad for all of the people I’ve either reached or am trying to reach who just became so fragmented in their loneliness over loving this guy altruistically, but not being able to discuss it with anyone in so long that the words are all but lost to them.
Meanwhile, as I went through finding chuckle-heads, I blocked a couple undesirables. I was told yet AGAIN, “I’m sure plenty of people read your fanfiction, Daryl.”
I said, “READ?! It’s in AUDIO? How many times must I express that?”
Then I put up the links YET AGAIN to podomatic and iTunes. I swear so many of these invalidating people just wipe the proof from their minds. *snort* I’m sure they would since they continue to twist the idea into some formation of who Barnabas SHOULD love. The very idea that anyone SHOULD love anyone or anything sickens me. Real or fictional. I suppose therein lies the self-imposed blindness to my obvious audio links. Some fricken gratitude for the hardest work I have ever done.
(By the way, I’m sorry if you’re reading this Helena, but word to the wise, don’t come to facebook. I love our relationship just the way it is. And I know you love the pairing but you’ve certainly proven far more versatile in thoughts and discussion than truckloads of people I’ve had to deal with.)
Ray of hope! A lady reading through all of that saw the links and became incredibly excited! I was nearing tears with her gratitude to me and her validation that it was audio and that she liked it and that she was downloading several episodes with vibrant interest, as well as kindness towards me. I hope we continue on a promising path. And then I blocked a couple other people who weren’t so nice, but hey, that’s what the block function is for. A couple women came to me in confidence and desired to know what this block function was. I was happy to tell them. They’ve been wonderful to me.
I got on the phone with the delightful Gary and we penned out what he’d written in his notes for Episode 4, having done the same thing previously with Episode 3. He enjoyed Episode 4 even more and had so much to say! It was marvelous!
Ahhh! That brings Episode 4 to goal. I just sent him episode 5 and 6 which have been much neglected. Then there is Warren whose safety I pray for. There are others but so far it seems a pretty even split on good chats from both men and women. Then Steve, who as far as I know isn’t a listener of the work, keeps making all kinds of overlays of photos. He, I, and the new lady I found had a wonderful discussion. I asked him if I could use one for my 13th Episode. I said it’s close to this one but I must have it elsewhere. We’ll see if we can find it. Maggie is in colour and not black and white.
It’s a little like this one but different. (She’s looking down and in a blue dress.) I think I just found it and I will have to tell him. He said he was glad I could make that kind of use out of it and that I needn’t have even asked if I could use it in that way. Well, after seeing folks get a little extreme about their fanwork, particularly visuals, I felt it was best. Either way the conversation was fantastic. I poked fun at myself for getting riled up and getting others riles up. Tough fandom this one! When I get notifications from other fandoms I feel a shock of relief!
The lines are the biggest pain this week. Everything was performed and inflected 3 to 6 times, at least with some lines. But don’t worry. I have eliminated the kick-back Professor Stokes and kept the “sexy” version someone helped me to decide on when Professor Stokes says, “You seem rather fulfilled Julia.” 😉