I’ve gotten the basic scene done without music or sound effects. I hadn’t gotten it done because that new chapter of “Margaret Josette Dupres” was coming out and I figured, “Okay, that’s enough work, so let’s go back to that editing one scene a day on Monday.” I had to go through several changes in pitch, speed, and repeats of Willie’s lines to pick the best ones.
That’s the deal. It all takes so much work so the least I could expect is one joke per episode that makes someone laugh. There was some discussion about waiting for the feedback before uploading more. I realized people just don’t understand how difficult the episodes are to produce. They hear something that sounds simple enough, I guess, but in reality it takes loads of time to go over all the dialogue, research, listening, re-listening, editing, picking out which are the best inflected lines from three to five attempts, sometimes more, then finding the sound effects, finding the music, altering everything, mixing the tracks. I’d told one of my helpers, “After all I said in my fourth intro about losing weight and sleep? Plus asking if people wanted ‘The Time Warp’ song to get Barnabas to 1897?! You’d think I’d have people berserk trying to reach me!”
Damn, just checked podomatic again for comments. ZILCH… but! Two more followers, and one is a guy I found on a Horror Classics facebook page. He seemed like someone who didn’t touch fanfiction either. I’ve never seen him on the DS fanpages. That’s truly what I’m looking for. As this other comment states: “Normally, I avoid anything smelling even remotely like fan fiction,” Yes, that is who this is really for, so I have to find those people. That’s the problem with all of these Dark Shadows fanpages. They all know the standard realms of it. Mad Margaret is the only person I’ve ever heard say the 2012 film was fanfiction. With how people discuss that film, I’m sure no one else considers it that from what I’ve seen. And that’s why if I get more college air play, The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows falls into question. Plus, with all the gothic books Dark Shadows uses? It, in itself, is fanfiction too, as many things are.
In any case, I’ve opened so many avenues for people to discuss the show… it’s just silly that they don’t. I mean, if a celebrity entertainer, Tim Curry for example, asked people to write to him or her, that person would be expected to get gobs of fan mail already. I listen to that crying from Josette in the regression therapy, with the music and the over lace of Sam and Dr. Hoffman’s voices and I just think, “I’ve proven myself that far and I’m still getting barely anything? That was incredibly hard.” And I was trying to discern if I even should blow my nose in some of it to clear up other voices. Sam sounds like he was in tears, too.
I hate it when I’ve heard, “Oh, you’re having fun!” Since October 2013 creating this radio series? Bullsh*t! I’ve been in agony with so many too timid to talk to me about the radio drama . The best fun I have is in chatting with my helpers over the work. And then there is “Margaret Josette Dupres”. That’s a little fun, but passionate and deeply touching. Definitely worth all my channeling now. More people respond and comment on that so I push myself in that direction, of course.
This morning I looked over what I had before me. Yes… it’s true. I do love The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. Creating it could be fun again one day. I like it. It’s my favourite show right now, and “Margaret Josette Dupres” is my current favourite book, however unfinished. I read and re-read the chapters continually. I adore thinking about my adopted love-bats spending time together, holding each other, finally finding each other and being so happy, like Gomez & Morticia are so happy. And now I’ve got material of them in bed together hearing their cooing infant, the re-born Sarah, in a crib nearby. All is coming right for them. They’re still so in love and with all the struggle, they’re thankful, as many of us could and might be. I know when I’m laying with my own spouse, I certainly am.
But what I hate? What I can’t stand? Spending the money, uploading the episodes, getting hundreds of dowloads, and hearing virtually nothing. That’s what I hate.
With so little communication, this number is not a compliment. 701? This is confusing as hell.
And that’s why I don’t plan to do that part of it anymore until things improve. And I believe they can. The fellows Goths and Spooky kind I went in search for have their own pains. They understand. They recognize being different. They have art that gets little attention. They visit graveyards with a kind of wonder and inner beauty to the mysteries of what is and what could be. Some poke fun at their own hurts. They’re like The Addams Family in real life. And they haven’t said too much, but they’ve said, in so many words, “I love this show!”
So I still produce and make the show the best that I can. But what for? Now? College radio air play. I used to think it had to be the best so people got something good. But for the most part people only care so much. The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is as repeatably listenable as all those shows and films are re-watchable. This is for people who gave up, gave up on Dark Shadows getting better, or gave up on fanfiction, or gave up on all the films and TV shows they keep whining have awful stories. I have a good series and I know it.
And I respect myself enough to wait until others can let me know what they liked. No more contemplation of going to the hardware store to get razor blades or poison because I feel so alone, used-up and neglected in this. That’s the truth of it. Let episodes 13 & 14 out of the bag again without enough feedback for the rest? I’d kill myself or try to. That’s the truth. I promised myself and I promised Willie Loomis, we’re not going down that road again like last October (2013). He and I can wait.
I’ve often heard this song when I’m out and about, as if it’s another sign for this show, as many signs as there has been. But the words, “Home… home… Where I wanted to go… Home… home… Where I wanted to go… Home… home… Where I wanted to go…”
As Barnabas proffers to Mr. Loomis in Episode 14 of The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows:
“Would you like to come home, Willie? To Collinwood?”
“Ya, ya… ya really want me back?” Willie asks.
“If you want to come,” Maggie answers, “I know what you were trying to do for me. And things are different now.”
“Well,” Willie affirms, “all this I gotta see.”
Meanwhile, a small voice at my shoulder says, “When you create those episodes and don’t give them away… everything will get better. I promise… I promise, Daryl. I promise you… they will.”