The Shame of Barnabas Collins…

I have two scholastic Josette=Kitty=Maggie helpers who have been pressed upon with so much stress and obligation that it’s lead me to find other people as sources of comfort. This isn’t such a good idea but some interesting discussions came out of it.

As some of you know I’ve been working over a month to finish Episode 12 of The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. Not only is it detailing many distinct vocal impressions and inflections, as well as editing just for the bland version without music or sound effects, there is a very difficult session of hypnosis for Maggie Evans in which she sees her lives and understands her flashes of insight into who and what Barnabas Colllins means to her.


This is not a happy girl. I think that’s why Hansel Bachmeier is a fitting additive because it may allow her to go completely into realms of utter kick-ass in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows on the chance anyone else messes with her during the series. (Hansel’s favourite curse word thus far when he talks to me is “Stier-shiste.” Nice, Mr. Bachmeier, nice.)

The pain of this episode looms before us in its darkness, as well as the loneliness I’ve felt in my two best helpers having so much trouble that I don’t hear from them. I need to know more about this woman, if not for her, but for the knowledge that we can share this experience of unraveling what, I’ve had to deduce, was where the series wanted to lead. But control of the story was removed from it’s creator, Dan Curtis, moving to what may have been preferred by the family of Hall. And I only suggest this because I listen to the characters and adhere the best that I can to the original story line, trying to solve problems rather than causing them.

I cannot use source material beyond the television show. I felt bad enough doing that for that tiny joke from a Marilyn Ross novel and made a very defined asterisk on that point. That “mod & way out” line was simply a great thing Carolyn Stoddard could likely have said. She is the most with-it hipster-lass of them all. If I used source material from Big Finish audio dramas that would conflict with what I’ve channeled in Caleb Collins who I believe is very accurate to the program in terms of a helper at any rate. I want this based on the television program alone as much as possible.

I also do this because I feel much of that newer material is based on the popularity of what the fans wanted rather than the content of what I see was originally being aimed for.

What continues to daunt me is how fragmented any other Josette=Maggie fan is I can find. They were pummeled for more years into a type of quietude. My more youthful lasses have this understanding so fresh in their minds they’ve taken notes and analyzed the whole relationship. But my sweetnesses are currently in danger and they are in trouble and I miss them terribly. I also pray for their safety.


But what is the shame of Barnabas Collins? Ah… I’ve had to explain this again and again to those who do not understand it. Barnabas is ashamed for having a single one-night-stand with a powerful woman who wreaked havoc on his entire family as a result. Ooo, he slept around ONCE! Yes it was the wrong dame… but BIG WHOOP! Why does everyone case on him?

Is it anything like THIS guy who bloody owns his slutty behaviour?


Quentin Collins

Or THIS guy who has spread his seed far and wide across the entire galaxy?

captain kirk

Captain James T. Kirk

So why are so many fans so damned hard on Barnabas Collins?

Because he admits to being in the wrong at times. His sensitive nature exists under his putrescent misdeeds and errors. He kidnapped Maggie Evans not for lustful needs. It was because he missed someone. And he missed her desperately. And he could not remember what had happened after over a century of being locked in a coffin. He mainly just felt it. I’d love to see someone else endure that agony better.

He wants to make his lost lady happy and live with her forever, as Dracula does, a specific lady with the same qualities. This is, of course, jagged and twisted and wrong to do in this manner, but the best part is in Maggie Evans saying, “I’m not her! I can’t be her!”

please I want us to be happy

No… of course she can’t. But like anyone who can’t wrap their minds beyond a single genre of entertainment: drama, comedy, romance, family, horror, etc… Is there not a way to engage in a mixture, which is what life is?

And this is his mistake: forcing, not asking, not requesting. And later he understands this and feels that guilt. The complexity is stronger with Barnabas Collins, and when people see that guilt the bully in them ignites. They won’t touch someone who says, “Yeah, I screw with people’s heads. I get-off on it.” Those types are too hot to handle.

However, a man who confesses to being in the wrong?

Oh… those bullies feed on that. And it’s much easier to kick down a complex fictional character who also happens to be an icon. And they ALL truly believe THEY know what’s best for him. That mommy-knows-best attitude. No asking the gentleman… just tell him.

But bullies do cast these same fires on real people. They do.

My family, my friends, my peers, the social organizations and institutions of schools and “guiding” adults: They did this to me most of my life, which is almost 4 decades long now.

I see what’s happening with Barnabas Collins.

It happened to me.

Now… even with the lack of support a comedienne generally requires from her audience, coupled with the bullied history…

Can you see why I have been so pissed?


And don’t even get me started on Willie Loomis…



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