More Stations Contacted and Illness Lifting

VictoriaMorticia rose

As several packages to college radio stations have been mailed in the last week I can only deduce part of why all of this happened as sorely and unfortunately as it has is Providential in purpose: to reach more and more people. Why folks have become even more distracted away from communicating and sitting in the complacency that information-overload and lack of dialogue is what this online world is all about, there must be more need to change lives beyond a small shipping town.

I am hardly the only individual who works very hard online only to see numbers and feel a sense of pointlessness in it all. I hear from these creators on a regular basis and they aren’t just writers of fanfiction or articles. The point in sharing is discussion. Book clubs still take place for this purpose. College radio? It very likely continues to retain listeners who don’t skip around on audio. They have to listen carefully and they’re used to doing that. They have longer attention spans and due to being outside the mainstream they make decisions about what they like and aren’t guided by the nose as to what they should enjoy. As one station expressed themselves on a website I saw today: “We play none of the hits.”

Very nice indeed.

My husband and I are sick of coughing and want that element to leave like so much of the rest. But we hold close and smile widely and gratefully when either of us comes into view after hours of separation. And it looks like a number of characters will be of stuffy nasal passages. Maggie and Sam make sense, they’ve likely shared tears together after what occurred in Episode 12. Hoffman and Stokes? Well, they’re a little scratchy in sound so that could work. Caleb? Hmm… Not sure if I’ll use any of those re-performed lines. Will it matter there was a train in the distance as I recorded that?

Victoria and Morticia from the original demo are fine. My Cara Mia got that snippet and said she howled with laughter over the one line I gave Uncle Fester. Just an alteration in pitch for Morticia Addams. “You really do have a voice made for audio, Querida.” So lovely to hear someone tell me these things. I’ve got to investigate more of The Addams Family and hold fast to them. They truly have been a larger beacon for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows that I did not expect.

The interesting part in all of this is how young the more vocal readers and writers are. These are old programs and films but younger people love them. That’s also the sad part. I get the terrible feeling many Dark Shadows fans are much older than the rest of us, got used to not saying anything or being encouraging, so our work gets read or in my case heard, and we’re looked at like 1) the fanzines of old, in which there were no comment boxes, 2) not needing any commentary because we grew up with the internet (I didn’t, by the way) or 3) as if we are people who are… their… age? Nope. Talking to these younger creators who are doing this to find their people, their feelings have been harmed and they’ve been unhappy or lonely just as long if not longer than I. What happened to caring about the younger, anyway? Especially from folks who grew up writing letters and using the post-office. Did all of those skills just die?

Speaking of which the blue-box that I used for Captain Gregg’s sound effects in helping Sam mail the check during Episode 12? That box just got yanked off the street. Pisses me off but it was in a crappy location. So, for posterity it still exists in that audio. But the post office isn’t going away, I think that’s what needs to change as well. We need to write letters again, tap into the thoughtful discussion we’re capable of; long-term expression, not quick-fix ephemera.

Pop Evans

As “Pop” tells Maggie in my 13th Episode when she wonders if she could ever trust Barnabas again, even as Josette:

“People can change, you know. They really can.”

Strong Opinions and Explicit Content: When no one has anything good to say of Barnabas Collins, he’ll say it himself.

strong-opinions-vladimir-nabokov

I’d like to give some focus to all of the glowing reviews for “Margaret Josette Dupres” every couple of days, just to have something blessed to contemplate and show my appreciation.

weird and mean reviews

But first let’s look at one delightful oddity and a couple reviews that have no bearing on constructiveness. It truly sickens me that anyone who might be remotely concerned about Barnabas Colllins’ character for his own pleasure and happiness would post such thankless and thoughtless rot.

This means I deduce: 1) This is someone who is used to being unhelpful and opinionated, 2) Is intentionally being rude for no good reason, and 3) has no legitimate purpose in giving me a hard time.

Sorry, “guest”. I suppose you might have gotten me to vaguely believe these words had 80 glowing reviews not gotten in AHEAD of your sour ones. For the very first chapter I applaud the ability of Osheen Nevoy who is a master artist and understands both detail and the depth of characters. I had NEVER seen Barnabas Collins written in first person except in some poetry on occasion… and he sure as Hell wasn’t erupting with joy to finally have what he always wanted in those.

Osheen was impressed and said it did sound like him. It took me a while to realize how correct she was and to see how his character had truly possessed me to write his words. (After all the “signs” for The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, really, couldn’t there be something more going on here?)

So for this sour reviewer there is a claim that I express more than is comfortable for readers. By whose standards? Did you see the rating? M = Mature, which you are not. My temper may go out of bounds at times but I have more than enough reason by now for it to do so. Barnabas nor Maggie, nor Wadsworth nor Sam Evans have ever let a vulgar word escape their pens. Those vulgar words that are NOT in this novel are usually in other material of this kind. Examples:

cock, tits, boobies, dick, fuck, shit, cum, cunt, etc.

You want that? You can get it in a LOT of places. My first draft of The Wedding Night (2nd chapter) was read by a heavy explorer of porn and she said it was NOTHING like she’d ever seen. (Neither Barnabas Collins nor Josette Dupres, whether reincarnated or otherwise, would express their love life using words as such were they to be so bold.)

Next we read:

“And what’s with the last line of this chapter? *whispering” Express yourself, don’t repress yourself…

Is that a character speaking or you giving advice to your readers? If you are a sex phone operator or therapist, this is not the appropriate place for such comments.”

Uh-huh… Again, didn’t see the comments by the other reviewers who were enjoying all of it and requesting more, nor the need to encourage the shyer type of readers. The SHY reviewers are VERY often the ones appreciating the darn thing. When it comes to Dark Shadows usual readers, and fans of this pairing especially, that was a fun way of encouraging them. There is a line below the end of the chapter and my author’s notes are often in italics.

“Weird. Dark Shadows was never about sex. And Maggie wasn’t Josette.”

Again, who is this? Not doing one’s homework, are we? What? Josette’s ghost just randomly pops out of Maggie later in the series for no reason at all? Maggie gets spacey about the earrings and dumps Joe Haskell because? Why was K.L.S. urged to come back and reprise her role? Must we wonder about things like this?

The reason no one wrote this story before is because they weren’t as complex as I am and often they were bullied by the very harsh and bossy type of Julia/Barnabas (or Angelique/Barnabas) fans I’ve researched and investigated for years. This is why I have a lot of ire towards these types. I’ve seen what they’ve done to everyone else and I won’t tolerate it. (Not to mention I think Julia Hoffman is kick-ass and deserves better treatment than pity after so many decades.)

Again I must be grateful for Tim Burton’s 2012 film. The pissier DS fans have been so busy with harping on that thing they never saw what I was doing and didn’t have a chance to attack me like they did people who came before me, as well as almost everyone going keyboard-less and doing nothing but sharing photos for the most part. (I claim no conspiracy is going on with the encouragement to keyboard-less-ness, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was something sinister halting our ability to fully communicate with each other.)

Now that we’ve eliminated the rude guest reviewer who did nothing helpful but prove my initial expectations, we move on to the happy oddity. Mmmm… ^_^

“I have, with abaiteadely furry, read through this story The goocrux parings that you present are invoke feelings of boaconic insecurities that manifests through the characters modgone tones. Well done, I say! Keep up the good work and keep sending good yonies! It is with great euneirophrenia that wait for the next chapter. I have been flat out like a lizard drinking and need to take time from my hellacious schedule to check out you pod casts. I anticipate that they will leave me feeling frubie.”

Part of this makes me look down at my own keyboard to see where this pleasant reviewer may have made some typewritten mis-steps. I have accepted it as absolute joy-unbound to the point where words were uncertain. I take it like Gomez Addams,

gomezaddams

“I’m not sure I understand exactly, but it’s wonderful!” ^_^

My other ideal is this is a college lass who just stowed her books away to enjoy her Summer Break. My deduction is one of the books she studied was James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake”. I have managed to get through quite a bit of that book and enjoyed it thoroughly. The pictures of what was going on came into my mind and I’m not sure how but my now-husband was in his 4th year at the university and couldn’t comprehend how I made sense of it at the time. I must confess my DS + other fandom studies means my Joyce understanding is rather rusty. But I do recognize it.

(I’m just praying this is not a pal of mine who had a stroke and disappeared from his email account in the last few months. The word “frubie” reminds me a lot of him.)

nabokov_-lolita

As for the above images? Yes, Nabokov is an inspiration and so is Lolita which I find fitting. The difference is “Margaret Josette Dupres” is consensual while Lolita is not. Still, Barnabas Collins has been arrogant, cruel, and monstrous. Perhaps in different ways than Humbert Humbert but the pieces fit. “The Whom of Many” chapter was very inspired by both Nabokov and Humbert’s tones in description. In “Margaret Josette Dupres” Barnabas Collins has every right to be a bit smug sometimes.

Untitled

sarah and barnabas

If you were treated as he’s been in all of that fanfiction? Tossed about and abused and his character screamed at by reviewers who shake their fists at the man and actually hate him… well, wouldn’t you like to find someone to speak in first person for you and tell them what you thought of all of that?

Sometimes I wince at Barnabas Collins for picking me to do it.

Then I compare our lives, look at him and say, “Of course. I don’t blame you, Old Man. After all that I’ve seen? You deserve it.”  ^_^

1897B

Peace.

Lack of Communication Creates Surge of Desperation

I began posting at fanfiction.net 14 Feb 2012. My first review ever posted happened on 20 September 2013, nineteen months later. It was mine. I wrote: “test”.

i.e. “Doesn’t this damn thing work???”

doesnt this damn thing work

 

Five days later my angel waltzed in. The first person to ever say anything in nineteen months. Helena, who arrived in May of that year after I’d been there the two Februarys before her. How long did it take her to get reviews for her work? A few months, perhaps sooner.

this is pretty good

Little did I know my audience was large the entire time. I checked my email regularly and would have been notified had anyone bothered to repeat a damn line or post a review. They’d been reading and laughing for all of that time and not expressing it. I do not believe such things are right, do you?

What I’d built in well over a year and researched heavily Helena enjoyed with gusto and speed. It’s likely how people listen to the podcast. One hour of their time for over one month of my hard work and effort in revising the script, audio, acting, sound effects and music when it comes to Episode 12. When it was only text, which is difficult enough, her arrival boosted my ability. I’d been coming home from work with a bottle of wine to perform audio episodes before posting them in text by this time. Helena read the old Episode 12 and wondered if I was alright after all the crying and screaming. Did anyone wonder this time around?

The beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

It was October 2013, a time of many tragedies or so I’ve heard from various sources. Mine was coming close. I had to bring Willie Loomis back into the fold and I’d already begun the demo recordings and more character channeling of various fandoms including the abused inhabitants of Collinwood. I’d been listening to audios of old DS episodes on my long walks to work or to the bus.

The kidnapping has to be dealt with. This isn’t a farce like I kept shooting for and missing. The new components merely allowed everyone to be more open and honest but it was their own humour that was coming out of me, and the more I listened to the demos, the more I made the recordings, the better the voices became and for the first time in my life I could no longer hear it was me. It was them. They were working together, they were taking over.

Creepy? Spooky? Altogether ‘Ooky?

I also kept listening to the DS audios of original airings, unraveling old pieces, listening to their own voices. Willie was shot by the police how many times? Poor Willie! And that happened because he was trying to warn Maggie? That’s right. Wait… why didn’t they deal with that when he came back? Well Mr. Loomis, you’re coming back now and we’re dealing with that shit, that’s for sure and certain! No Adam around to spit chicken at for you. You’ve been at Wyndcliff longer, long enough for a lady there to take a fancy to you. And this new butler sets things strait where he’s employed. You’re going to have a confrontation about that pain.

Willie-dark-shadows-25363189-671-571

It became the one scene in the fun and harmonious 14th Episode of The Pit… that scared me. Barnabas saw his chance for happiness by the time Willie came back home again to confront him about those bullets, and when it came to me looking from my old simple tablet to read what I had in the recliner, the answer came to me, I stood up to alter it in the word file… and got the chills and creeps. (And I’m not telling what happened in that foyer here.)

And then acting it? Living it? Knowing the confusion and the consternation. How could he change like that?

How is this not more than writing?

“The visual pathway is not a one-way street. Higher areas of the brain can also send visual input back to neurons in lower areas of the visual cortex… As humans, we have the ability to see with the mind’s eye – to have a perceptual experience in the absence of visual input. For example, PET scans have shown that when subjects, seated in a room, imagine they are at their front door starting to walk either to the left or right, activation begins in the visual association cortex, the parietal cortex, and the prefrontal cortex – all higher cognitive processing centers of the brain.”

Or so says “A User’s Guide To The Brain” by John J. Ratey on the topic of a concept known as “The Mind’s Eye”.

Channeling conducts these visuals to enact what my adopted children are experiencing. Or in Japanese, the kokoro: “heart; mind; mentality; emotions; feelings.” What I had to put Willie Loomis through and go through as him hurt. Then when Wadsworth explained to him the base facts of what he couldn’t come to terms with: “Can anything be accomplished by a single individual all alone?”

And thus he speaks the truth in my story. A long and nerve wracking road put into place several years ago which brought a madness into my life in October of 2013. Sounds like a crazy time on it’s own doesn’t it? A time when the veil is thinning, and a number of bewitching servitude. Perhaps blessings and curses go hand in hand. As this butler interrupted the story-line of “Dark Shadows”, many polite demons came along for the ride.

But even then, the stat numbers, the readers, climbed for weeks and said nothing, laughed at nothing I could hear, were touched by nothing I could find. “Why were they doing this to me?” I continued to ask, and I asked them. Was it too true? Was it too thought provoking? Was it laziness? Couldn’t they see the hurt in my words as I asked, begged, wondered. And finally posted ephemeral rants and philosophical explanations, or question as to why this entire internet universe had fallen to a decay in communication over hard work made not just for free, but for so much money and effort on my end.

I couldn’t live with that pain or that silence. So I gave it back. I copied everything, stored it away, picked chunks of the text to leave behind to keep evidence I’d been there and the statistics of what had happened that only one enjoyer would discuss. And then I started the podcast, revised, re-performed and went through the whole of what I had of this neglected Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows all over again. I seek out help: Magical Irish Dolphin, Mad Margaret, Osheen Nevoy, other writers, other creators, Josette Dupres-Barnabas’ One True Love page on facebook first and foremost with withered results as of now, even fan letters to cast members, something I could never believe I’d do.

Now? A bigger audience, an audio audience, text to more fandoms and more websites, extraordinary help from John Mountain to get the word out, a facebook page, a tumblr page, a wordpress account, my email address visible for all to see, a Skype account, a google account, 500 postcards scattered on the East Coast, West Coast, various spots in between, more fandoms contacted, more facebook groups, specific pairings videos on youtube, art pages… It’s gotten to the point when I LOOK on google for images of these many, many characters I’m finding my own websites, my own areas, my own transfiguration of melding these many worlds into one.

Squeaks of sympathy start eking out and then turning to halting results. Everyone who loves it are afraid of me because that madness in silence exploded. But what shall more silence do? This is in sound now. Turn it down, turn it off, but it isn’t just text anymore. This is the hardest endeavour I have ever created. Thousands of downloads, hundreds of people, all spreading the word and looking for others to communicate with me about the episodes. Who can she find to speak up? I can’t express my own enjoyment or insight. But why?

As all of my listeners, including friends and family, tune in, they drop out of speaking and seem to shift their eyes about for who… whoWHO will be the crowd to finally speak up and communicate with Daryl Wor about her hard work, at last, so perhaps, they shan’t need to?

I leave these lyrics as my question and answer to all of this:


 

    Don’t tell me you can’t tell what’s wrong from right
that it’s alright, that I can sleep at night
don’t tell me you can sell me peace of mind
don’t look behind, ’cause I can see the signs
read between your lines

it’s outta control, but there’s a way
for us to change, it’s not too late
we need to show, there is a way
to bring our world a brand new day

we know in times like this
if it’s a hit or miss
we still can’t walk away
we’ve got to turn around
don’t be afraid to sound
all that we need to say
to bring a brand new day

it’s outta control, but there’s a way
for us to change, it’s not too late
we need to show, there is a way
to bring our world a brand new day

it’s outta control, but there’s a way
for us to change, it’s not too late
we need to show, there is a way
to bring our world a brand new day

we know in times like this
if it’s a hit or miss
we still can’t walk away
to bring a brand new day

Simon Collins- “Eco”

 

Being ill and a little bummed

I’ve caught my husband’s cold… In that case it means we can be close again, and have been which was the best part. Nothing beats being achy all over and then soothed with tenderness during that kind of suffering together. Not too many coughs, enough to interrupt, but we carried on.

I’m looking over DS Episode 464 to try and listen to some Hoffman and Stokes lines and get their inflections reconfigured in my head. It was agreed if I’m doing their lines, having a cold might improve how it sounds. Hmm… maybe this isn’t the correct episode… I’m seeing some Tony & Carolyn date getting interrupted. Oh, all right, there is a proud moment for me now. I shan’t need to believe in this anymore as in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows, Wadsworth already did away with that fooling around of Barnabas messing with Carolyn. Not quite the same but close enough to Sybil in Fawlty Towers saying, “Basil!” [SLAP!]

I think it’s easy for me to believe in The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows to take the place of all of this. Wadsworth has some serious control with plain sound reasoning but also dangling the carrot of what Barnabas wants: Josette. Promise Barnabas his Josette without asking for anything in return than being groovy with other people? Of course! Not like all the various twisted bargaining or blackmailing. Nope, Wadsworth doesn’t blackmail. He’s been down that road far too many times. ^_^

Wadsworth Looks UpOldHousenight

But why the “little bummed” you might ask? Well… I finally found the Munsters and Addams Family fan pages on facebook and I was accepted into about all of the groups, a couple even merged the two fandoms and I thought I’d finally had it made. I sent links to either when they’re fandom characters entered or the whole shipload of episodes imploring them that I was a comedienne in dire straits and to please let me know what they laughed at if they enjoyed the series. Then I got a whopping SEVENTY DOWNLOADS OVERNIGHT! Woo-hoo!

But did I hear anything? *sigh* No… This is a project that has thrown me into ribald hysterics from the humour, wishing, dying to share that with others in order to hear responses to what was enjoyed. The next day after all of those downloads? Like-click… like-click… Well… that’s better than nothing, right? *sigh* It is… it’s just… I dunno… COME ON! BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS! Someone please tell me they laughed at Better Homes & Gardens! [weeping chuckles] It’s just so sad…

And the worst of it is I know people enjoy it but it’s like The Marx Brothers, they liked finding out what made people laugh too. They’d test audiences when they went on tour. They were curious as to which audiences preferred what jokes. It would be great to know which fandoms enjoy which jokes, you know? Then MID tells me she heard that podomatic was having trouble getting comments so she didn’t bother. I tested that yesterday. I didn’t have a problem. I have so many avenues of communication I’ve opened. Is it all just so funny that it’s like the joke that kills people in that Monty Python sketch about how Germany was actually defeated? Is everyone choking to death?

Oh, okay good. Chapter 2 of Disk 50 at minute 27. There’s Julia… and Professor Stokes should be coming in at any second now. Dang, I got the order pretty good for not having the set when I was building up to my own 4th Episode. (The first three are really catch up, but good catch up.) I say some bonus characters like Wadsworth & Morticia get darker but I think Norman Bates actually got lighter! And Freddy Krueger got lighter, too! [laughing/coughing]

I don’t know if I can take Osheen’s advice about adding info that Willie released Barnabas from his coffin in Episode 13 when Barnabas confesses it’s his fault Maggie didn’t take to triggers of knowing who she was because he told off Josette’s spirit when he got home again. The text is getting close to 7,000 words with my adding in canonical needs. I dunno… What a pain. In any case I was glad that she inquired what I was doing to eliminate the confusion at a spirit being disembodied from it’s reincarnation. She mentioned the Egyptian soul having pieces and I’ve heard of that in various cultures. I’m not given anything definite and it’s driving me crazy because that’s likely the answer, but I’m not finding the tales themselves. Arg!

Currently I’m just ticked that more than half of the reason I don’t get support is so many people got hassled into going silent with 40 years of bullying about who this guy loves in the fandom! Stealing the laughs from this hard-worker from the time she was born. I can sure get it out to people but Heaven knows if I’ll ever hear it back. The download numbers scare me.

Anyway, the intro to Episode 13 is done:

http://xoiscythe.podomatic.com/entry/2014-08-15T16_16_30-07_00

Coughing and nose-blowing,

Daryl

Creating The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows. (Yes, it’s a pain in the arse.)

Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows logo

Now that the genesis of this project has been squared away there is a ton of hard work coming into unravel a complex series like Dark Shadows. On to how the bonus characters fit in as well. I’d wanted to put something together like this mixture since I was little anyway, here is the perfect platform. 

There is a Star Trek fiction online called “Star Tricked: The Next Perpetration.” It’s in radio script and tends to get rather vulgar but is quite funny none the less. My cousin found it and did the performing himself with music and sound effects only using cassettes I could lend him. Sadly some of the best material is taped over to re-use the cassettes. This is also a multi-fandom story which incorporated OS Star Trek, Next Generation characters, Star Wars characters, Lost In Space characters and almost anything in the realms of outer space. Hilarious. Hence the best way to fit in so much? Use radio format. Perhaps hosts can explain scene switches, so who do we use?

Sir Simon Milligan and Manservant Hecubus from The Pit of Ultimate Darkness skits via Kids In The Hall. They’re spooky and goofy and can use updated slang.

1954 and a character at a place called Hill House off of route 41: Wadsworth.  Well, either Miss Scarlet did it or Mrs. Peacock did. Either way it doesn’t matter. The third ending of Clue didn’t make sense to me. Willie Loomis is at Wyndcliff so perhaps Barnabas could get it into his head to find a nicer way of hiring a replacement without all of the stress. Put out an ad and see what happens. I’ve likely watched the film “Clue” fifty times. I also looked around and found most of the movie script in PDF format. I’ve written down more for future references to the film.

The parapsychologist group from Poltergeist? Whoops wrong time period, but whatever. This show has time-travel, right? Still, I did request a 1960’s sports score for Ryan to express: “The Jets just beat the Colts 16 to 7!” Slimer and the Ghostbusters? Wrong time period again but with Wadsworth around one never knows what the heck is going on other than him. Slimer seemed a prime candidate to give David Collins some mischief and rifle through the Collinwood kitchen. Poor Mrs. Johnson. For Sir Simon Milligan’s joke, “Little do they notice the hulking van that’s sped in the other direction, nor the 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor following close behind it bearing the license plate: Ecto-1. It has often been suggested to me that citizens of Collinsport have no peripheral vision.”

Yes, I did the research on the Ghostbusters famous automobile.

Victoria Winters trip back from 1795? There ain’t no WAY I’m gonna reformulate that without references to “The Time Machine”, which I’ve watched about fifty times, too, as well as in repertoire theaters. Hey, we got a 1960’s thing going on now. Let’s keep it that way.

Willie isn’t around to give Maggie the earrings so Wadsworth does it instead, but his intention is to bring out that past life memory with a trigger of something Josette had that hadn’t been involved in Maggie’s kidnapping. 

The Golden Girls? I’ve watched it like crazy and there is that reference to it on The Kids In The Hall. A 1960’s younger Sophia can hang out with Mrs. Johnson and take Adam home with her to Brooklyn. Sophia does curses, she’s pretty dark in her own little way. Whoops, a little more of the modern with “Twin Peaks”, bah, Victoria can time-travel, no big deal. Throw in a Lara Parker/Laura Palmer joke. The gist of this is to let Victoria and Peter escape Colllinsport only to find all these other places to be just as bad if not worse.

The Dream Curse? Who’s going to handle that? Ah, Freddy Krueger, Mr. Dream-Curse himself. Did the research on him, too. Apparently it WAS cats claws that inspired his bladed-glove! So a previous life as Mrs. Johnson’s cat? Okie dokie.

What author’s work could Roger be reading to get over Cassandra? Okay, Mr. Fix-It Dale Carnegie. That’s old and well-known.

And the BIG need for this: Saving Sam Evans. Well, I stumbled on this one as the 2012 movie came out and everyone went BERZERK over it in multiple different ways. It gave me a version I liked considering Josette came back as a reincarnation which was what I was doing already. Ah, they saw what I saw. Well, that’s a comfort. (Another is people have been so angry at it any pairings bullying missed me because everyone’s been too busy harping on it. Nice distraction.)

But Sam… Oh… what can I do? I don’t know why but I decided to look at “The Ghost & Mrs. Muir” television program. WOW! This is pretty good! Oh, I know the lady who plays Martha! Wow. SAY, a portrait of The Captain, little kids with sticky fingers, Sam is a painter and Angelique’s portrait is why Sam gets hurt, SWITCH THE PORTRAITS! Tony & Carolyn can go on a date to Schooner Bay. HURRAY!

Meanwhile Wadsworth can make that weirder by letting out his Frank N Furter side. Okay, get the lyrics. How’s that going to go down?

Hilariously!

Research on Josette’s music box tune. Who wrote it? Hmm, there were two versions? WOW! One was used on The Prisoner TV Show? The episode is “Dance of The Dead”. Let’s throw in a dream about that for Barnabas Collins. Hmm, was Folgers coffee around back then? Yep. (I wonder if it really is “Mountain Grown” or is that just a fancy trademark now?) Crap, when did Captain Gregg die? Shoot! How does he know Andre Dupres? Oh, okay as a ghost. Excellent.

Norman Bates… *sigh* not a lot of stuff on wikipedia, let’s try IMDB. Okay, the town is Fairvale and it is in California, as are The Addams Family from what I can find. All right, as soon as Victoria and Peter hang out with The Addams Family long enough they’ll freak out and run from there, too… wait… no. The Addams Family are actually nice. And they’re helpful, too! HEY! Good spot for Victoria to get help finding out about her past! SWEETNESS! And maybe Peter Bradford can get help being Peter Bradford in name officially and not yucky Jeff Clark! Those Addams’ have gobs of money.

Here comes Nicholas Blair and what we’ve all been waiting for: slamming the door in his mustachioed face! Tony & Carolyn’s romance will put a hard to conceal smile on Elizabeth’s face recalling an old paramour she had. But who went with her on this trip in which she might have given birth to Miss Winters? Research and watch a ton of The Munsters. Bleh, not another Herman being doofus episode… Ah… Lily… Mmm… and they do chemistry and inventing in that house. Lily could easily be a cousin that experimented with her looks once upon a time. Now when was Victoria Winters born? Ah, right around World War II. So who could our Mystery Man be? A soldier…That would separate the lovers, wouldn’t it? ^_^

*Sigh* This is a long wait for poor Willie. That nut-house could get uninteresting. What could he spend his time doing? Learning calligraphy. And who would encourage him with that? The ever helpful Professor Stokes, which gives him and Dr. Julia Hoffman some time to spend together. 

Ugh… The Blue Whale’s shortage of tunes on the jukebox… oh HEY! Why am I thinking of “Sleepwalk” by Santo & Johnny? Because it’s similar! No vocals! Same time period! Groovy! Hmm, how long ago did they use car radios for the audio at Drive-In movie theaters? Looked that up, yep that long ago. Now which dumb surf-picture do Tony & Carolyn go to? Hey! What’s this “Monterey Pop” movie? Ooo… close to the same year, but… screw it! *I* want to go to a Drive-In and make out to this movie! Perfect for a date! 

Now where is some damning evidence that Maggie is Josette? Ugh, what kind of cargo did people use in 1795? Okay, what sailing routes did they take from Martinique to Maine? Go with The Dominica Channel. Phew… how many reincarnation documentaries and articles do I need to go through? 

Hey, Caleb Collins? What’s up? Hmm, died in 1872 and was a hording recluse let’s look at the older story lines of Dark Shadows and see what you were hiding out from-GOOD NIGHT, IRENE! Yowza. Okay, fair enough. You’re likely ticked-off as hell at living and being a ghost through all of this mess! Jiminy Christmas! 

Now why did Sarah’s ghost leave? Because Barnabas wasn’t being good. Well, he is now. She can come back. Why not?

I doubt Dr. Watson would claim this was all absurdly simple, but if he did Sherlock Holmes would scoff, “Everything is absurdly simple once it’s been explained.”

And this is just the TEXT version I’m talking about, not the audio and podcast which is an even bigger and more expensive pain.

And dang, this Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows is funny! Hmm… so why aren’t people laughing? I have no evidence that they are. After all of this hard work? What’s the problem?

Crap… the romantic pairingsUGH! Look at all of this side-taking and bullying toward nice folks who would enjoy this. They’ve all been silenced by that and the way the internet comes to them to not be communicative over enjoyment. 

Now I have these other people arguing with me about the pairings since they couldn’t be arsed to listen to the intros and see where it was obviously going. So not only is all this hard work to find my people put into a state of horror, the manipulative people are coming out and saying negative crap.

Swell… 

THIS BITES!

original

The Genesis For The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows

Hell yeah

So, Dark Shadows… an insane and multi-layered universe to start with. The heavy stack of gothic novels inspired to create it is daunting in itself. As I finally realized, Dark Shadows is it’s own multi-fandom in that sense. But boy! Does it get startling and depressing at times. Dan Curtis… why a soap-opera? AH! I like spooky, in fact I LOVE spooky and Dark Shadows is certainly that, but also horrorific which I’m not the biggest fan toward. DARN IT! How did I get myself into this mess? Oh, yeah. The Harry Potter craze in which I got serious peer pressure to like that. I did by the third book, but then by the fifth I was ready to throw the book out the window and just about screamed, “If I wanted a spooky soap-opera I’d be watching Dark Shadows!”

Ah-ha! Mail-home DVD rentals! Now might be the time! (I didn’t make efforts previously because I’m sturdy about chronology and started with what they had. The days of Laura & Bill Malloy were not available to me yet.)

I dug in about the time my anhedonia (numbing depression) began taking hold which created an increase to my alcohol imbibing. I could drink right along with this Roger guy, no problem. 

Things kept getting worse in my life and Dark Shadows became an escape but not the kind I’d encountered before. Why do people love Barnabas Collins? He’s being so mean! By the time I became invested in the series my own troubles were slowly working out, I had a lovely home and a solid marriage even though I was still struggling through the depression.

Oh, 1795, here we go… WOW! What a wonderful man he used to be. Oh, great what’s going on now? Sheez, Widows Hill is cursed! Well, we’re back in the 1960s maybe some relationships will work out… Oops no, Angelique is back in a black wig and loud 1960s clothing. Uh-oh… what’s she doing to Sam Evans? … wait… um, no… no… NO… NO… NO!

I pull the handle of the recliner, the footrest jolted with a mighty twang and I said, “Okay, we’re gonna fix this. Where’s the fanficiton?” Well, I find the fanfiction… and no… it just gets worse… no… no… no… UGH! Where are the relief stories I’m looking for? Where are the ones where everything gets solved so I can just believe in that and carry on? Hmm… here’s a little one for Victoria… *sigh* that’s it?

All right, gotta do it myself. How the heck to get this stuff started? Well, not sure about Willie Loomis so let’s interrupt the story line at the point he went to Wyndcliff and I can bring him back later when more is worked out. And Angelique is a huge mess I’m not even sure where to start!

So I went down the line of characters: “Okay, what do you want?”

Jason: dead, gone, good, happy!

Maggie? Well it looks like you weren’t keen on Joe since you made the babyfood crack and that is rather bossy over there. Plus there are these signs your life is full of mystery and here are these other signs of a Josette reincarnation and you don’t like to be idle. Got it.

David? Oh, pretty lonely, need a friend your age, of course!

Roger? You? You need a good book! We’ll get to you more but you can already be helpful with that marvelous sense of humour!

Carolyn & Tony? No problem, when you’re squared away you can be helpful too.

Sam Evans, well we KNOW this is all for you, HEY a painter, and a Captain with a painting in the State of Maine. GOT IT!

Julia Hoffman? Well, like most of the chiks around here you want Barnabas but he’s not into you in that way, how about this other fellow of academic persuasion? When one’s love goes unrequited and another man thoughtfully allows himself the opportunity to see this and make his feelings known, what will a lady do when she’s given affection from elsewhere she never expected? You got it. Her heart melts. ^_^

Elizabeth? Victoria? A connection? OKAY! We got that down, just step over here, over here.

Oh, dear… Barnabas Collins… it’s pretty damn OBVIOUS what you want. Well now that I’ve been so dumb as to interrupt AFTER the kidnapping… Maggie? Josette? How do you feel about that?

She said, “That’s tough, but in the long run, it’ll be worth it.”

b and w heartwarm

Hopes For The Return of Willie Loomis…

Willie Returns Again

My latest intro came into place after I attempted to remove a certain follower to my audio. The podcast site informed me it wasn’t enough to relegate a block on this woman, but I don’t mind anymore. I was worried uploading another podcast and her getting a notification by email would set her off again but then I thought “Meh… SHE is the one who wants a cease and desist to communication, right? So she can just deal with the site.” Having to go through the old messages I noticed she was fairly insulting to my audience, down-playing on people in general. Lovely.

Before that I got a comment to my blog that Professor T. Eliot Stokes was UGLY and thereby not good enough for Dr. Julia Hoffman. So I deleted the comment, emailed the writer of this goofed up remark and sent her the message: “Well, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to listen to it.” with a link to the Devo song Freedom of Choice. I have not heard a peep since of which I’m pretty damn grateful. Fans of Dark Shadows who can’t see passed realms of physical attractiveness have a lot to learn over this Julia Hoffman worship. They are really turning the rest of us fans away from her wonders. 

Think about it, how many more fans of another red-headed lass would there be if it wasn’t for absurdly worshiping fans? I speak now for this chik: 

tori-amosLook at her. She’s beautiful, she’s creative, she’s spectacular and many people hate her because her fans can’t stop talking about her being a genius, which is a serious turn-off. Same with Dr. Julia Hoffman. Seriously… stop painting her portrait on buildings and just love the woman. GOD! 

Moving on…

I find getting in touch with Willie Loomis once more to be daunting with all of these probing difficulties. I have to go over my previous recording and likely re-do the noise clean, listen to a Big Finish audio drama where John Karlen gets freaked out at Angelique hassling him, preview some “Clue” to get Wadsworth down accurately, watch some more episodes of Dark Shadows to make sure I’ve channeled Mr. Loomis correctly…

And then…

Likely go absolutely stir crazy with the man. 

This writer/actor/comedienne has a lot on her plate.

However, Episode 13 is a great episode to The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows and very binding.

I hope my fans can boost me with enough support to have it accomplished and uploaded by next Saturday.

love,

Daryl

Milligan Hecubus