The saga continues…

282-dark-shadows-header-maggie-julia

One scene of Episode 12 was finished in performance, but there are still a few that have to be done and the editing as well.

The worst of all of this work is when the communication comes it’s usually misconstrued into some other meaning than I had intended, even with the negotiating help of my husband who picked out better ways to describe what I mean. It’s a pity that Dark Shadows fans are so easy to offend. And then we have the gentler ones who already know this and for this reason do not communicate at all. For which I worry because I’m likely the one to listen the most. And I have done in private messages that turn out wonderful.

These quieter types are not so opinionated as to who should do what and why. They’re listeners, like me, and saw much worse in the fandom enough to learn to live in hope but keep their mouths shut. It’s the saddest of all as these are the types who could and do bring change for the better, but in current days louder = right to many. The quieter types tend see how others are feeling and don’t live in black and white tones. I have heard, “I love this relationship. Thank you for doing what I couldn’t do.”

It is no doubt a shock to see a creation of this pairing by someone as feisty and determined as those of the other pairings. “Oh my,” they may have reflected, “this is the behaviour of one of THOSE pairings types… but wait… she’s standing up for the one I see as making the most sense!” Confusion must have prevailed.

The only difficulty is in having to admit to not being in love in any way, shape or form, with Barnabas Collins. I keep having to point out it’s an empathy I have. I don’t have opinions of who he should be with. Like all Dark Shadows characters, I request from them “personally” and view their history toward what choices they themselves would make without invalidating anyone else’s.

This is why Angelique/Barnabas makes little sense. I’ve heard from gobs of fans that the intensity of her wrath on any innocent involved is far too much to be forgiven to the point of a workable marriage. But does this leave her out in the cold? Certainly not. That’s due to her own motives in desiring love and having gotten such rotten forms of it, one can see how she wouldn’t know how to handle rejection from someone who made a mistake. And it is a mistake many of us make, which is why I find people being so hard on Barnabas for this to be beyond my comprehension. Plenty an admired character has done far worse.

There is a solution for Angelique, of course, and it is one that delights people, at least visually. I haven’t seen it in much fanwork but when I do I’m happy to enjoy it thoroughly. My deductions were not far from an answer many had already. Besides, if you’ve seen my behaviour, you likely know I have plenty in common with Angelique. I’ve reacted similarly to such lack of support. My sense of remorse is far higher, but I attack the attachment to oblivious behaviour, not the people. Angelique has been more than peeved at those living in luxury and being so ungrateful for it, hasn’t she?

angelique

Anyway, as the review pile for Margaret Josette Dupres grows I’m finding many people pleased and finally feeling able to say so. More what I like are the varying insights reviewers are bringing. It’s why I couldn’t stand for so much silence with “The Pit of Ultimate Dark Shadows”. How is one meant to orbit such a massive undertaking with only one vocal supporter who has only one viewpoint to offer in enjoyment? Five separate viewpoints of enjoyment would be sufficient, but the download numbers rise. Episode One is at about 570 on podomatic alone. Who are these people? For librivox work numbers like that don’t phase me… but this more personal, heartfelt and expensive production? [Noise of nervousness…]

The hunt for college DJs continues. The online world is so not geared for communication. And all the silence I received from the beginning frazzles me into sounding intimidating. I’m really just frustrated. I can only hope the short attention span of people makes them forget any ephemeral tirades. Or perhaps I’m keeping people company who otherwise have no one to listen to? Perhaps they’re lonely. But so am I.

Sadder still is how much my far away friends and few healthy family wanted to see me work artistically for ages and now that I have this their support is shallow for various reasons. So you don’t know all of the characters? That’s what the intros are for. So some of those intros show me sounding rankled? Well, wouldn’t you be if all of this happened to you? For a world in love with drama and political broo-ha, one wouldn’t expect such fear.

Perhaps it is as a rare visitor explained to me last weekend: “People look at what’s produced online and they don’t see human beings. They see a machine… it’s just a machine; no one is behind any of this. I’m the only one who’s real.”

Now that is scary.

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